Hey, this is Mat Boggs and today we're going to pull the curtain back on the mind and heart
of one man, in particular, and explore the idea of what it means to be a man.
The reason why this is important is because, my nephew just turned 13 years old, so we
are throwing this birthday party for him.
I remembered that when I turned 13 years old, my parents did something very cool for me.
They organized a "coming into manhood" ceremony.
See, I'm not Jewish and if you're in the Jewish tradition, you have the bar mitzvah, that's
a coming into manhood ceremony.
The native Americans have coming into manhood ceremonies.
My parents thought it would be cool for me to have something like that in my life.
On my 13th birthday, my family all sat around and they each wrote me letters about what
it means to be a man.
Then, they read me those letters and shared with me the qualities of manhood that they
see in me.
As uncomfortable as that was, it was kind of awkward and as a 13 year old kid, having
such an intimate moment with his uncles and his dad and the people in his life, it was
really a profound moment that totally changed my life.
So, I suggested to my family, "Hey, let's do this for Joel.
He's turning 13, let's write letters about what it means to be a man."
As much as this was going to be a gift for Joel, what I didn't realize is the amazing
gift it was to me.
It forced me to sit down and organize my thoughts and say, "Okay, I'm going to give a message
now to Joel.
What do I believe are the qualities that really represent a great man?"
I needed to do this in a matter of just two pages because 13 year olds are not going to
read an entire book on this.
It was a great exercise for me to crystallize and condense my thinking.
We all gathered around and his father, myself, his other uncles, his grandfather, all read
Joel their letters of what it means to be a man.
I'm going to read to you this letter.
This is my perspective of what it means to be a man.
I'm going to ask you to consider for yourself if you were to write a letter to your 13 year
old self, if you were to contemplate, what does it mean to be a woman?
Really condense this into one or two pages of what are the qualities that embody a great
woman, what would that be for you?
So, be thinking about this as I read you this letter that I read to Joel.
To Joel, on your 13th birthday.
I remember my 13th birthday like it was yesterday.
Just like you're experiencing today, my father decided to give me a "coming into manhood"
letter reading ceremony.
Was it awkward?
Yep.
Did it feel uncomfortable?
Hell yes.
But, despite those feelings, it was also life changing because those messages helped shape
the man that I am today.
So, here we are, passing along the awkward, uncomfortable, hopefully inspiring, coming
into manhood letter reading experience, to you Joel.
Congratulations big guy.
Joel, manhood has nothing to do with age.
It has nothing to do with how many years you've walked this planet.
There are plenty of 50 year old guys who are still, essentially boys.
Real manhood has everything to do with the quality of your character, which must be earned.
No one can give it to you but you.
Manhood is not a destination at which to arrive, but rather, an unfolding adventure that asks
the question, "How can I be the best version of myself today?"
I'm so proud to say, Joel, that I already see the man in you.
There are three qualities that I see in you that I hope you continue to develop over the
years.
The first quality is strength.
I'm not talking about physical strength like the ability to bench 225, although it's pretty
cool when you get those two plates up on each side.
I'm just saying.
A much more valuable aspect of strength is the strength of mind and heart.
The strength of your heart to courageously be vulnerable and show your true heart to
others.
The strength to cry when you are sad.
The strength to show that you care about something, even when others think it's silly or stupid.
True strength is the courage to be yourself in the face of opposing opinions and disapproval
of others.
It is also the strength of your mind to endure temporary failure because, know this, life
will knock you down.
Being a man is about finding the strength to pick yourself up, dust yourself off and
keep moving forward.
I see strength in you.
The second quality is honor.
Honor is the inner alignment of who you are.
It is doing what you tell others that you will do.
More importantly, it is doing what you tell yourself that you will do.
Honor is owning your worth and believing in yourself when others doubt you.
Even when part of you doubts your own self.
It is the willingness to go to battle for something you believe in and the willingness
to show tenderness and care for something that you love.
I see honor in you.
The third quality is passion.
Great men have a passion for life.
A passion to experience what living full out, really means.
It is exploring, adventuring, and taking on new challenges.
It is this passion that drives you to become the best, but it is also this passion that
reminds you to soak in the present moment.
To laugh, to have fun, to play, and to not take life too seriously.
To be a man does not require that you lose the kid in you, quite the opposite.
It means realizing the dreams the kid in you has.
It means keeping in touch with the child like spirit inside of you and always remembering
to infuse play along this journey of life.
I see passion in you, Joel.
I'm so proud of the man that you are and I'm looking forward to watching the man that you
will grow into becoming.
Know that I will always be here for you.
I love you and it's my great honor to be your uncle.
That is the message that I passed along to my nephew.
As much as this was a gift to him, it was an even bigger gift to me because as I contemplated
these three qualities, I asked myself, "Wow, how could I turn up the dial of these three
qualities in my life.
How can I become a better version of me?
A more full version of a man by keeping focused on these three qualities?"
I hope this letter inspired you.
If it did, please share it with someone that you care about.
My encouragement is be vulnerable, be honest, be real and raw in the comment section below
and share with me, what does it mean to be an amazing woman?
What principles or qualities, embody what an amazing woman is, from your prospective.
As always, I posted a link in this video to help you in your love life.
If you're looking to expand the love in your life, there is a link in the description and
in the video.
It's a gift from me to you and it will serve you in understanding the hearts and minds
of men.
Thanks so much for watching.
I'll see you soon.