Coming up at 1:00--
How To-- Baby Birding.
Right now it's Confection Perfection.
(SINGING) Confection Perfection, reviewing tasty candies.
Confection Perfection, where one's obsessed with fancy
treats.
Confection Perfection, the other is a son who resents his father
but secretly wants his approval.
Welcome to a very special edition
of Confection Perfection.
This week my son, Theodore, and I--
What are you wearing?
It's called VR, Skittle Brain.
OK.
This week my son, Theodore, and I visited some local fast food
establishments to figure out why they don't sell more candy
treats.
Roll the tape.
This dog poop won't light in space.
OK, Theodore and I are out and about,
and we're about to get in a sweet ride
and hit the streets because this is--
No, I'm not saying it.
Theodore, we worked on this.
You're supposed to say "Street Sweets."
Because this is--
Lame.
Theodore, no.
This is--
Dumb.
This is "Street Sweets."
Let's go.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
Welcome to Hardee's.
Would you like to try our spicy chicken tenders today?
The spicy chicken tenders, are they sweet at all?
No, they're spicy.
You want a hamburger, but you want it on a McGriddle bread?
Is that possible?
I'm trying to get the sweetest thing possible.
It's going to compete with this.
You want one?
You got one?
I got one.
OK.
Bring it on.
Let's do it.
Here we go.
One, two, three!
All right, I got two.
That's a big bite.
Damn!
That's a sweet too, sweet and savory.
That's a lot of flavor.
Thank you.
You're welcome.
Thank you for this.
What a gentleman.
OK, let's give this a go, huh, Theodore?
Oh, yeah.
Mm, delicious!
But messy.
It's like a bird just went ka-splat.
Maybe at the next drive-through people will wonder,
what happened to you, Chancey?
Did a bird dookie on your pants?
You want to try one?
I do indeed.
Open it.
Try it.
You gotta share.
You want one?
Yes, sir, oh.
Nice mustache.
Thank you, sir.
You gotta try the gummy.
It's good, right?
It's real good.
You're gonna share it a little bit?
No, it's too good.
No?
You're gonna keep it?
Well, I'm not going to share this.
What about the cameraman?
No, he doesn't deserve it.
He's been bad to me all day.
He was vaping in here earlier.
He has cotton candy flavor.
Dad, I'm a cloud chaser.
There's a whole community of us.
Just looking at your Half Price Happy Hour Shakes,
and I see a lot of them that I like.
I think that will do it.
It's Happy Hour after all.
All right, your total will be $3.97.
$3.97 even with the Happy Hour?
Yes, sir.
I thought I was having a Happy Hour Shake and it's almost $4.
So I am going to make a clean getaway from this line.
Go, go, go!
[INAUDIBLE]
Dad, I cannot go back to juvie!
Don't make eye contact!
Oh, boy.
Oh, no, we're stopped.
Oh, boy.
Can we get arrested for this?
Do you guys have the chocolate-dipped cones?
Would it be possible instead of a chocolate-dipped cone
to get a hot dog dipped in chocolate?
Sorry, we can't do that.
OK.
Would it be possible just to have some of the chocolate
on the side, like some fudge on the side and then the hot dog?
Oh my goodness, look at this dog dripping with chocolate!
Oh, no.
Dad, that's gross.
Oh, come on.
The unidentified meat from the hot dog
really goes nicely with the fudge.
You're disgusting.
You're the one who's always wanting to Netflix and chill.
And I say no to that.
I know what it is.
I looked it up on the internet.
I don't want that on my daybed.
Oh my goodness, it's so fancy.
Hey, what can I get started for you?
Oh my goodness, something delicious.
You know the vanilla syrup that you
put into the delicious drinks?
Yes.
Could I just have a small shot of that?
Oh, boy.
Oh!
That is so strong!
I think this was sweeter.
I think you beat it.
The first thing that's beat it.
Thank you.
Whoa, that was sweet.
Would it be possible to make a--
No.
Hear me out.
Could I do the cinnamon twist inside of a taco shell?
Yeah, I'll do it for you.
You are amazing.
This is incredible.
He just said yes.
I just asked, and he said yes.
Why don't you do that?
So this is kind of like my own taco.
OK.
It's a gummy hot dog.
A giant gummy hot dog.
Rob!
Come here.
You want to try it?
No thanks.
What if I-- try it.
Yeah, sure.
What do you think?
It's weird, but I like it.
It's dense, right?
I bet as soon as I drive away, your friend's
going to want a bite, isn't he?
Probably.
Oh my goodness, look at that!
Thank you.
Here we go.
Oh!
Put it on the menu.
Nicely done.
Try the hot dog.
I bet you'll like the gummy hot dog.
Sure.
It's good.
Good?
Thumbs up?
I think we did it.
Have a good evening, sir.
Thank you.
This is amazing.
I will be back.
All right, see you next time.
Well, there you have it.
Gummy fast food is a hit, but you
can't find it at a restaurant.
Whoa, you got me a dirt bike?
What?
No, I didn't say that.
Not you.
My virtual dad.
He's a stuntman and gets me whatever I want.
I love you, virtual dad.
Until next time.
Stop it.
Don't hug a virtual dad.
(SINGING) Confection Perfection.
Buy the gummy hot dog and hamburger,
and shop for hundreds more curiously awesome gifts
at vat19.com.
(SINGING) vat19.com.
Night
I'll start with a strawberry freeze.
Mm!
It's better!
Oh!
Mmm-- Brain freeze!
Oh!
Good!
It's good!
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There's dog feces in this bag.