In the event of a zombie outbreak happening in real life
like what happens in Zack Snyder's new Netflix movie
Army of The Dead,
we can't all be Dave Bautista cartwheeling through casinos
and headshotting the living dead left, right and slow motion centre.
That's why we've enlisted the help of ex British army captain,
explorer and survivalist, Ed Stafford
in the hope his expert advice helps you
avoid death and then undeath if indeed the world ends
and you suddenly find yourself surrounded by
an endless sea of ravenous walking corpses.
Notepads and bug-out bags at the ready, then,
as our expert breaks down how to survive a zombie apocalypse.
Oh, and beware of spoilers if you haven't yet seen Army of The Dead.
Easy peasy lemon squeezy.
It's all about getting prepared, says Ed Stafford.
The thing to do if you are in an imminent zombie attack is
to make sure you can defend your immediate location.
Naturally, making the most of your current environment
is crucial when it comes to survival.
If you're unlucky enough to find yourself in a packed area,
trying your hands at the slot machines
in the middle of a Las Vegas casino, for instance,
then you need to act fast.
I'd put myself in a room with only one entrance
so I could see any potential attack," says Ed.
You need to be able to defend yourself.
Find a location where you can fend off zombies.
Basically, don't be having a bath
when the zombie apocalypse goes down
because, well, you'll be going down too.
Assuming you're lucky enough to escape the initial wave of undead
and find a suitable location,
Ed's next tip is that
it's absolutely key you've got enough supplies
to last the duration of the zombie attack.
There are certain things you're going to need
to sustain yourself long-term.
We're not just talking about food and water,
but toilet paper, soap and all that stuff.
If you're able, Ed advises taking a trip
to the nearest petrol station to stock up on fuel and food.
"Petrol or diesel is going to be key," he says.
"And it's going to become increasingly valuable."
Not just for your vehicle.
Ed points out that, in the event of a power cut,
you'll need fuel to power emergency generators.
We would, however, like to point out that
cannisters of fuel make for really bad backpacks
in the middle of a fire fight.
To sum up, the three most important things
you need to do in the immediate aftermath of a zombie outbreak,
according to our expert, are defend yourself,
defend your location and get supplies.
The next big decision you'll need to make is
whether or not you band together with other survivors.
It may be tempting to ditch everyone else and go it alone:
hell is other people, after all,
especially when they're as traitorous as Martin here.
Au revoir!
Moron!
However, Ed argues there's strength in numbers.
You want to form a small army of trusted friends, he says.
Ideally, you'd have a breadth of skills:
somebody who can grow vegetables, a mechanic,
somebody who's good with firearms,
a safecracker, a YouTuber.
We may have added those last two ourselves,
but you get the idea.
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Also, when it comes to selecting a vehicle
for your multi-talented brigade of farmers and fighters,
Ed recommends something that's easy to fix,
like an old Land Rover.
Finally, some vindication for those using a gas-guzzling 4x4
on the school run.
It's the zombie apocalypse, after all!
Reducing your carbon footprint should be
the least of your worries,
so don't be going for some complicated electric car.
As Ed warns us, that would be useless.
Thanks for the tip, Ed!
Looks like the environmentalists are dying first.
So, you've found yourself a location you can defend.
You've cobbled together a band of allies.
You've got food, fuel, loo roll, a Land Ro--
Wait! Wait! Wait!
My apologies.
How, precisely, do we do the zombie killing?
Excellent question, Dieter.
Now, obviously the weapons you can get hold of
are going to depend on your location
but, taking Army of The Dead as an example,
Ed has an ingenious plan
should you find yourself in a zombie-infested Las Vegas.
Las Vegas is notorious for groups of men on stag dos
firing automatic weapons into the desert, Ed points out.
"So, I would make sure I visited one of those sites
to acquire some automatic weapons."
In the event of a zombie outbreak, Ed advocates finding
the most powerful automatic weapons possible.
To destroy a zombie's brain, he says,
you want to find something heavy-duty like a GPMG
or a general purpose machine gun,
to those of us who don't speak ex-army captain.
Automatic weapons are pretty loud, however,
and likely to draw unwanted attention,
so you might think you're better off using a stealthy approach
and taking zombies out quietly using a knife.
Not according to our expert.
If you're dealing with multiple zombies,
a knife becomes ineffectual, says Ed,
because you have to be up close.
You have to use the knife very precisely on each zombie.
You're far better off with an automatic weapon
where you can keep your distance
and destroy as many zombies as possible from afar.
As good a fighter as you may become,
the harsh reality is that, eventually,
you're going to find yourselves in close quarters with the undead
and so protecting yourself with suitable clothing is essential.
Do you bulk up with heavy armour or keep yourself light and nimble?
Ed has the perfect solution.
"I would advocate donning a leather outfit,
particularly coarse leather,"
is the expert advice here.
Ideally with silver studs all over it as well
to make sure zombie mouths are suitably repelled.
A full on gimp outfit.
Good protection against undead nails and teeth,
light enough that you've still got manoeuvrability,
plus you'll look amazing as well.
Another important question, assuming you've survived this long:
what type of food should you be eating
and how should you acquire it?
As someone who's survived for weeks
in some of the most demanding environments on the planet,
Ed knows exactly what foods can mean the difference
between life and death.
You should be prioritising nutrient-dense foods, he says.
You don't want cucumbers or nonsense like that.
You want red meats and leafy greens.
You've got to have a lot of energy, so you'll needs carbs:
potatoes, sweet potatoes, yams, anything like that.
The people who survive will be the people who take nutrition seriously
and equip themselves properly and stay strong.
And, despite the risks involved with heading into supermarkets,
our expert advises that this is by far the best option.
"Normally, I'm an advocate of
making the most of natural resources," says Ed.
However, a zombie apocalypse is a cut-throat environment.
You could spend a lot of time and wasted energy
foraging and hunting in the wilderness.
The far more bountiful resource is the supermarket.
Go there and get everything you can.
Ed does have one expert trick
for finding clean, fresh water, however.
You can go into the cistern of a toilet.
Yeah.
According to Ed, it's a sterile environment
fed with clean water
and will provide you with a limited supply.
Genius? Yes!
Disgusting nonetheless? Also yes.
Now, those of you who've seen Army of The Dead will know that
a good defensive position,
a sound group of friends,
plenty of food and fresh toilet water are
all well and good, but what if…
What if you come face to face with a zombie tiger?
That's crossing a line.
Ed's advice here is calm and rational:
shut yourself in a vault, he says.
Zombie tigers are far more ferocious than regular tigers.
That's true. Just ask Martin.
Tigers are notoriously very good at climbing, Ed continues,
so you've actually got to put a barrier between you and the tiger.
Ultimately, though, when faced with something like this,
even hardened survivalists like Ed know when to throw in the towel.
As much as it's not glamourous, I think running away and hiding is
often the right answer.
You don't need to tell us twice, Ed.
So, there you go!
All the expert advice you need
to survive a real life zombie apocalypse.
Do check out Army of The Dead on Netflix if you haven't yet done so.
Give this video a like if you've already got a bag of supplies ready
in an underground bunker somewhere
and subscribe for loads more videos on all your Netflix favourites.
Thanks for watching.