Hey Dan here and in this video I want to talk about what to do when you're
feeling stuck or you're feeling trapped that's all fine and dandy to have all
these videos about you know how to build your business or a marketing strategy or
getting into personality type and all that but none of that really matters in
the moments when you feel trapped right we've all been there first of all keep
that in mind right if you're in that situation whether it's a job or
relationship or maybe it's just emotionally like you feel like you're
stuck in a rut know that you're not alone and we've all been through that
likely more than once at least I know I have myself but how did you get out of
that and that's really what's important here so focus on getting out of that rut
or getting out of that trap so you can feel like you're free again to make
decisions and to make changes now for the sake of this video I'm gonna use the
example of someone wanting to quit a crappy job and start their own business
now this could apply though to leaving a bad relationship to quitting college or
going to college or moving cities or anything else right but I'll stick to
this metaphor so imagine you have someone and they're at this job that
they do not like they're not very happy with but at the same time they can't
bring themselves to leave maybe it's let's say Pam from the office
yes I'm rewatching the office right now great show so let's say we have Pam from
the office right she can't bring herself to leave usually in this case you have a
lack of motivation in either direction what I mean by that is in all things in
life we're motivated by one of two things pain or pleasure good or bad
right so if your job really sucks and this is why in some of my other videos
like on an artistic pursuit and how to earn money while you're building your
artistic business is get a crappy job one that sucks so bad that there's so
much pain that you want to leave unfortunately a lot of jobs aren't that
bad and I say unfortunately intentionally that their this job where
it's okay you know you can sort of get by you know the Cole
workers are decent you get along with people maybe the free pizza on Fridays
but ultimately it's not what you want to do in life and it's not a great use of
your time or your life but it's not that painful now on the other hand you have
your pleasure what you might be drawn to so say you worked at an okay job but at
the same time you had an offer to go start your own business and an investor
was going to give you the money support you connect you with the right people
and guarantee that you'd be successful and then you go live on your own private
island pretty sure you'd have enough pleasure motivation that was pulling you
forward right that you would quit the job and go on and do that thing make
that change because you had positive motivation pulling you but of course
that's not how starting your own business works as much as I can stand
here and tell you like you'll be able to do it
you know it'll be not easy but you'll be able to do it you have support you know
there's programs you can take where you're getting supported by other people
and all that there's of course always gonna be some level of risk so you have
this pleasure you're getting pulled towards of like a fantasy of starting
your own business but there's so many unknowns until you do it that there's
also fear of it not working fear of challenges coming up or you know
whatever else that is that the pleasure sort of muddied a little bit where you
have like I want this but I don't know if I can get it so there's some muddied
aspect to it there right and you have a job that's like minutes so so not that
bad what you need to do to make a change here is crank things up you need to
crank up the pain of the job so that it gets worse or you need to crank up the
pleasure of what it is you really want or both and that's going to increase
your motivation ideally you crank up both you add more pain to your current
situation and you add more pleasure you know pulling you to what you want to get
to and there's a couple ways you can do this you can do it in your mind which is
effective or you can do it in real life which is actually even more effective
right so in terms of your mom it can actually just be about focusing
more so if you're going to a job you don't really like the odds are you've
adapted some mental strategies to help you say cope with it we can call them
these coping mechanisms right so you may be thinking it's not that bad you focus
on the good forget that focus on the bad when you go into your job focus on how
much you hate your co-workers focus on how crummy it is getting up that early
in the morning to work you don't like focus on how your stuff there for all
hours of the day even though you could finish your work in four or five hours
and go home focus on that make it more painful make it worse
then on the pleasure spend more time thinking about what if and deciding you
know that game we played when we were kids decided of like what if I won the
lottery where you just let yourself think about anything get real free with
it do that so think about how great it could be and
all the possibilities that when you you know let's say in this case start your
own business how you could be traveling you could be working from home you could
make your own schedule you could have a lot more freedom think about that and
get it really vivid in your mind right allow yourself to dream and to fantasize
and that's gonna give you a lot more pleasurable pull towards so now you have
more pain in the negative situation you want to leave more pleasure in the
positive situation then probably you need one less thing and I made another
video about this called a keystone decision and so let this pain and
pleasure boil up let it affect your motivation in a good way and then make a
decision so you can check out the other video Keystone decisions on the
specifics of this but basically it's making a harsh one-time decision that
you cannot reverse and that will commit you to following through I heard a
really good quote today that just happens to work in this video and it was
something along the lines of life is a river just jump in and see what happens
and it's so true right if you're sitting on the sidelines like so many people so
often you sit on the sidelines like watching the river go by and they want
to jump in they think I'll wait for the current to
slow down I'll wait for it to warm up or cool down or whatever that is and that's
never gonna happen that River is gonna keep flowing and you either decide to
jump in and figure out how to swim once you make that change or you stay on the
sides feeling trapped feeling like there's nothing you can do so that's it
let me know in the comments below if you found this helpful if there's a way you
can apply this advice to your own life thanks again for watching and do
subscribe to the channel lots of videos coming up soon on motivation and making
big life changes thanks for watching see you soon