The year was 2008. And all around the world there were screaming teenagers, kids,
adults and senior citizens alike. All for one purpose and one purpose only. These guys. Now
during this time I felt very alone. I felt alone because quite frankly I didn t care about any of
this. I m not a bandwagon fan for one. On top of that I d never read the books. Never heard of
Robert Pattinson. The last time I d seen Kristen Stewart was in Panic Room which she was wonderful
in by the way but I wasn t necessarily checking for her. And my brother had made me watch
Shark Boy and Lava Girl so many times even the thought of Taylor Lautner was traumatizing.
However comma One person changed my mind. Peeked my interest if you will.
Emma Clarke aka Nutty Madam. Now, YouTube doing what it does best by recommending content from
people you ve never heard of, which shout out to you person watching this because 9 times out
of 10 that s why you re here. They recommended me her content and I was intrigued to say the least.
Such an emotional, passionate reaction. I had to see what would warrant such a thing. Just in
case you ve been living under a rock let me set the scene. Twilight is a movie about a
teen girl who obsesses over this creepy old high school imposter because she thinks she s in love
but really she s just suffering through unresolved abandonment issues. Huh? What was that? Did I-
Did I come on too strong with that one? Ok let s dial it back and start from the top.
Bella Swan lives in Arizona with her bad wig, mother and step-father. Now I should ve known
this was all going to go downhill when the first thing she told us was about her dying
for the love of someone but for some reason that went over my head. Unfortunately this dramatic
uninspired reading of why she hasn t seen her dad Charlie did not go over my head. Because
she does this throughout the film. Can we get a little pep in ya step. You ain t dead yet. I m
leaving Arizona. My dad s Charlie. Like girl if you don t- You better stop playing with me
right now. The Calm app gots nothing on her. Two minutes of listening to that and you ll be
counting sheep. But let s keep going. Now during the height of this films popularity as many of us
know there was the Team Edward or Team Jacob debacle. It was such a big deal of who was
hotter and at the time, I don t recall anyone who was on the side of the team Jacob debates
admit that Jacob had a busted weave. Quick lesson so everybody can understand why this
really irritated me. In the black community when some of your natural hair is exposed and the rest
is covered with a wig or just fake hair in general, we call that natural part a leave
out. In a leave-out, I should not be able to see where your hair ends and the fake hair begins.
These right here are called busted weaves. This is unacceptable. Class dismissed. So she gets
to her new school and everybody s all fascinated with her. Isabella. Oooh look at her pale skin.
Look at her leave-out. Oooh lala. A little harassment happens, J lo s understudy invades
her space and then boom. These kids I guess? That are totally minding their business
walk in and she s like who are they? Like uhn-uhn girl. Not you being nosey on the first day. Can
they sit down and get situated first before you go poking around. So we get a little background on
them and basically they nasty. In what world is it okay to be with your sibling. Yes,
they re adopted but that s practically a blood relationship if you ask me. No pun intended.
But anyways she has her eyes set on Edward. The golden child of the Cullen family. And let me
tell you, Kristen s underacting and Robert s overacting really take the cake for me. Like
what is this? And the dramatic music and camera make it ten times funnier. Then we have this
random unnecessary scene of the towns people bombarding her while she pretends to put ketchup
on her plate, even though its already on it. Like why couldn t this scene be she and Charlie having
a conversation about school or something. I guess they wanted to make it clear that the
relationship is strained. But let s keep going. So we start seeing signs of her being clingy and
emotional and I m lightweight irritated. You haven t even met this guy formally and you re
spending all your time worrying about where he is and why he doesn t want to be around you.
Who cares? He don t pay yo phone bill. He don t put gas in yo pickup truck. He didn t get buy you
a new curling iron so you could blend your hair properly. What significance does he hold in your
life? Oh yea, you think he s hot. Girl-bye. So they finally have their first conversation
and it s unbearable. For them and for me. She looks like she s about to puke every 3 and a half
seconds. And he doesn t know whether he wants to get to know her or rip her head off. Like why am
I being subjected to this why? But anyways, she starts noticing things about him. His eyes are
a completely different color, he has superhuman strength. You know just the typical stuff you see
everyday. She gets checked out by Edward s daddy after nearly getting smashed and he comes in there
all rico suave acting like he don t know what she talking about. Edward acting like he don t know.
And Bella like listen. I am not crazy and y all not about to make me feel like I am. And I m like
yes girl. Let them know! Then I got irritated again. And this is the main problem with this
movie. Because here comes Edward with his possessive controlling I like you that s why
I m mean to you ways. I just wanted to tell her like Bella, you in danger girl . These are some
red flags if I ever seen them. He tells her if she s smart she d stay away and she s all
lets hang out. Girl what? What? So we meet back up with Jacob who I completely forgot was in this
movie and he tells us why The Cullen s don t come here. And basically the Cullen s are rumored to
be some type of monster s and Jacob and his tribe are descendants of wolves. The Cullen s can t go
to the beach because of the treaty that was put into play years ago. But supposedly it s all fable
talk. Bella was like Oh uhn-uhn. You not about to try to sike me out. Homegirl started doing
her research cause it s something up and she was about to get to the bottom of it. In the midst of
it these guys start harassing her and her comes Edward racing in like Batman to save the day.
Now I don t know about y all but this coincidence would ve creeped me out. Like yea I m happy you
were here in my time of need but why are you here? Restraining order! Meanwhile, during all
this there are people losing their lives to animal mauling s all across town. That news paired with
everything she s noticed about Edward, things start clicking. Now it all makes sense. And I
for the life of me still don t understand why she didn t run as fast as she could in the opposite
direction. I mean this man asked her what did she think vampires ate and she talking about you won
t hurt me. Girl you don t know him, you just met him a week ago. He tells her not to trust him and
she s like but I do. Now you tell me she doesn t have abandonment issues. Tell me. Because who else
do you know keeps going after someone who has told them they don t want to be bothered? Hmm? Hmmm?
So they pull up to the school and you would think Beyonce and Jay-Z just arrived because all eyes
are on them. Including the Cullen s and they are not feeling it because they know he spilled the
beans. So what does he do? Decides to introduce her to them. You re in a room full of vampires who
don t like you and want to drink your blood. Yea this sounds fun. So we meet Esme, Rosalie, Emit,
Alice, and Jasper. And I have to say Rosalie is the character I identify with most so far because
she s the only one using her common sense. Everybody else has it but she s definitely the
only one using it. So after this intense meeting Edward takes his little spider monkey into the
trees so they can spend quality time together. Which I m not mad about. I mean what s the point
of dating a vampire if you re not going to do things that are out of the ordinary? Yes
lets have a picnic on a mountain top. Why not. But let s keep going. So after subtly showing
the writer of this here shindig, Ms. Stephanie Meyer. We finally start to get the father daughter
banter that d I d been hoping for between Charlie and Bella. And what a coincidence
they start developing a relationship right after she gets a boyfriend to fill the void that he
caused. Is that a co-incident? And speaking of developing relationships, peeping Tom over here,
climbs into her window to test something out. A simple kiss. Now I don t know about you guys
but I m not staying in a relationship where I can t kiss you. I already can t comfortably hold your
hand without wearing gloves, hug you without wearing a winter coat and now we can t kiss
without you impulsively holding back because you want to drink my blood. See uhn-uhn. It s too much
and a whole lot of nothing all at the same time. Not even worth it. But this is Bella we re talking
about so in the name of love, suffer through it I guess. Now the best scene in this movie by far
is this baseball scene. First of all who would ve ever thought about what it would be like for
Vampires to play a sport. Shout out to Stephanie for that. I don t even like baseball but I would
watch them play. On TV from the comfort of my home of course. You re not about to so happen
to have a bad day the day I m sitting in the crowd. Case in point these three. Laurent,
Victoria and James. The ones who ve been causing mayhem. The animals who had been taking lives.
I sound like a news anchor. Tune in at 3 pm for more. But anyway, they mosey on down
talking about can we play? No. There is fresh meat on the field and we ain t got time for this.
But before they can get her out of there Bella s weave catches wind and all hell breaks loose.
I m going to say this AGAIN with all of these red flags being thrown into action why is she
not taking the hint. I mean yea we literally wouldn t have a story if she just decided not
to be with him. But come on. Does she have to be so hopelessly devoted? Your life is in danger.
Your fathers life is in danger, you broke your fathers heart, the vampires who can t stand you
are being made to protect you and you all you can think about is being with this guy? Like yea
James has your mother hostage and you re on your way to save her but all of this is
because of Edward? Really? Child. I can t. So we re at the dance studio where James is
getting his rocks off to torturing Bella on camera and in comes Edward to save the day.
Bella gets bitten and now everybody is in a panic. Good thing Rosalie isn t there because
she would ve just ended it all. Let Bella die, and everybody s troubles are over. The end. Yay.
But since she isn t there Edward makes good on the many threats he s made throughout their
relationship and goes into a drunken binge. Can t say that I felt sorry for her. She s literally
been asking for it. If it wasn t for Carlisle she would be chopped liver. She could ve at least
sent him some flowers or a basket of blonde hair dye. But instead she awakens from her slumber,
asking for Edward. Go figure. Her mother tells her this elaborate story about how she fell down
the stairs and through a window and that s how she ended up with a broken leg and bloody arm.
I m like why would she even think this story sounds plausible? Yes, they ve made it abundantly
clear that Bella is clumsy but Really? So Edward is off in the corner fake sleep and he awakens
to tell her again that they don t need to be together. That it is not a good idea to continue
any kind of communication. And of course she doesn t listen. Like imagine telling somebody you don t
want to be with them and they respond AND? This is what she s doing to him. So he sucks it up
and takes her to the dance. But before they can get their groove on there s a message from this
extra with a speaking role. He tells her that his dad, old Billy Black, wants her to break up with
her boyfriend for they will be watching. You would think she would take some type of precaution but
she just sweeps it under the rug. But unbeknownst to her she has bigger fish to fry. Because
just like she goes hard for her man, Victoria plays zero games when it comes to hers. Child.
This is about to be a mess. So as I ve told you guys before I plan on doing the entire Twilight
saga. But for this video I specifically want to know a few things. First off I have a question
about the story because I m not sure if I missed it or if they didn t explain it in the film, but
when Renee was telling Bella how she d ended up in the hospital, I was confused because she never
said anything about being kidnapped herself. So had James not actually kidnapped her? Or
what? I m so confused. Don t laugh at me. Somebody please explain that part to me. But also I want to
know from you guys, are you day one twilight fan? If so, did it start with the books or the films?
And if you have any funny stories about going to see the first film. Besides that, definitely
want to know your thoughts on this film. What parts made you cringe? What parts did you love?
Lets talk about it. Try, if you can, to keep the comments about the first Twilight because we are
definitely going to be talking about the rest of the saga in the coming videos. I know somebody
is saying Well you take forever to upload. Listen don t come for me okay. I m still a
new YouTuber. I m still learning the rules ok. I do plan on getting these out a lot quicker.
If I run into any hiccups I ll let you guys know. Also just a reminder that Blush Bunny Merch is
available in the store if you re interested. If you haven t done so already be sure to click like,
hop on over to that subscribe button and hit the bell. Otherwise YouTube will never show you my
videos. As always, I m all ears. Until next time. Bye.