-Working here at the show is a lot like camp
I would say, right?
There's a lot of activities throughout the day.
We eat a lot of meals together. We work long hours,
so people spend a lot of times away from their families.
And we have a lot of fun here,
but it's important to stay connected.
It's a camp tradition that everyone
has to write home once a day.
So here at the show,
we're making letters home something of a rule.
And just like my camp counselors had to do with me,
I'm checking in with everybody else to make sure
that they are all writing their letters.
So, let's see, Quest -- Quest, do you have your letter ready?
-Yeah, here, Jimmy, here.
-Oh, cool. -Hey, Mom.
It's me, Questlove.
[ Laughter ]
The summer's really been great so far.
Being the band leader at "The Tonight Show" is the best job
in the world because I get to spend all day
playing music with my friends.
The only thing is my bunkmate, Tariq,
keeps eating all the brownies you send.
So please send more and this time with a lock
that only I know the combination to.
Or a box labelled "maybe poison."
[ Laughter ]
Also, he snores and he raps in his sleep too.
He sleep-raps.
And they're not even that good.
I recorded him last night.
Listen to this.
-[ Slowly ] ♪ My name's Tariq and I'm here to say ♪
♪ I like to rhyme in a major way ♪
♪ I can rap like this, I can rap like that ♪
♪ I can rap me out because I'm the rapping dog ♪
♪ Hee haw ♪
[ Snoring ]
-Anyway, I miss you guys.
Oh, P.S., I won an Oscar.
Love, Quest.
[ Cheers and applause ]
-That's a great letter home. That's a great letter home.
Thank you very much, Quest.
Let's check in with one of our editors.
Mark, do you have your letter?
-Sure do.
Dear Mom and Dad, I've been having lots of fun as an editor
at "The Tonight Show."
But the job can be pretty stressful.
I've gone from smoking a pack a day to smoking a pack an hour.
Sometimes I just put an elastic band around all the cigarettes
like this and smoke them all at once.
It's a lot more efficient.
I guess you could say I'm some kind of genius.
By the way, I'll try to come home next week for my birthday.
Can't believe I'm turning 24.
[ Laughter ] Sincerely, Mark.
[ Applause ] -That's so nice.
Oh, that's sweet.
I knew him when he was 21. -Yeah.
-Let's check in with one of our producers, Brian McDonald.
Brian, will you please read your letter?
-Hey, family, it's your favorite son, Brian.
I'm having a great time at the show.
But I'm actually writing to tell you I'm permanently
changing my name to Ryan.
When I started here over a decade ago, one guy
called me Ryan in a meeting and I didn't say anything.
And now it's 10 years later and everyone still calls me Ryan.
It's been so long, I'm starting to question
if my real name ever was Brian.
[ Laughter ]
Or maybe it was Ivan.
I think I'll just go with Rylan.
Yeah, Rylan.
See you soon.
Love, Brian.
Damn it. -Alright. Excellent.
[ Applause ] Excellent job.
Excellent. These are great.
Now let's hear from one of our writers, Martin.
Martin, will you please read your letter?
-Dear Mom and Dad,
this is the weirdest space camp I've ever been too.
Nobody ever wears their astronaut suits except for me.
And any time I ask about taking the shuttle,
they send me in a Chevy Suburban to LaGuardia Airport.
[ Laughter ]
I haven't learned a single thing about the Space Force program
yet, but "The Tonight Show" announcer, Mr. Steve Higgins,
said that if I was interested, he could sell me something
that would make me "feel weightless AF."
[ Laughter ]
Sounds fun.
So please send sixty dol--
[ Laughter ]
Please send $70 cash.
I love you. Please send me money.
-Thank you, Martin.
Jeff Goldblum is on the show tonight.
[ Cheers and applause ]
Jeff, do you have a letter for us?
[ Cheers and applause ]
-Dearest mater and dear pater,
things are going well for me in entertainment.
I'm having so much fun being a guest on
"The Jimmy Fallon Show."
Earlier, Jimmy came to my dressing room
and said "hi" to me.
And then after that, I said "hi" to him.
[ Laughter ]
The dressing room had a lot of nice snacks, like carrots,
celery, those little containers of hummus
with the pretzels in the lid.
There were some Triscuits and cashews,
almonds, even Jordan almonds.
You know them?
They're candy-coated like a fancy M&M,
but no chocolate, not even a little.
Despite that, they're still a tasty treat, a treat best suited
for someone with hard teeth like a Lorne Greene
or a James Garner.
Also, "Jurassic World: Dominion" is coming out soon,
and I play a character in it.
[ Cheers and applause ]
-I'm glad that everyone's doing it.
I can't wait to see this. Thank you, Jeff.
Of course, I always write home, too.
And as usual, I'd like to write a note, please.
I'll use my letter-reading voice.
[ Cheers and applause ]
-Dip that ink.
[ Medieval music plays ]
-[ British accent ] To my dearest mumsy and dadsy,
my deepest and sincerest apologies.
'Tis been many a fortnight since I corresponded with thee last,
but I've been terribly busy now that the new season of
"Stranger Things" hath dropped.
Netflix and chilling I've been indeed.
[ Laughter ]
As thou might surmise from the show's curious moniker,
'tis a veritable phantasmagoria of odd occurrences
befalling a ragtag band of chums in the year of our Lord 1986.
Oh, how I meant to phone thee upon finishing, but I was
woefully indisposed after imbibing an entire container of
something called Mountain Dew Flamin' Hot.
My word, the only stranger things I've encountered
since that are --
Sorry.
Can I erase?
[ Laughter ]
Now, here we go. -Re-dip.
-My word, the only stranger thing I've encountered since
are what this vile beverage doth wrought upon my innards.
[ Laughter ]
Anyway, I hope this latest missive finds you well.
I low-key miss you both ever so much, no cap.
Your most humblest of sons, James Tiberious Fallon.
Thank you. [ Cheers and applause ]
[ Normal voice ] Those are our "letters home."
We'll be right back with Jeff Goldblum, everyone.