[Silence]
Hi, Simon. Hi, Nikki. - Hi.
- Thanks for coming in today.
Hey, Simon. - Mm-hmm?
- Kind of our job today is to talk about – you know those times at school where
your feelings get really big? - Mm-hmm.
- What I want us to talk about is why your feelings get big and
what you can do about them and what we, as adults,
can do so that we’re making it better and not worse.
How does that sound? - Good.
- Good. So what we’re going to do is that we’re going to
walk through this plan, okay? And then, at the end of it, we’ll have
a nice kind of little story that we’ll help put together about what we
talked about today that we can share with all your teachers and with
your mom and with your dad too. - All right.
- Sound good? - Mm-hmm.
- All right. So the first thing I want to talk about is, what happens that makes
your feelings get big? So we’ve got some options here you can look at for ideas.
Like, maybe if someone says mean words to you, or the work gets too hard.
- Probably all of them. [laughter]
- All of them? Is there one that stands out for you today?
- You can point to it.
- You can just point to it, yeah, instead of using your words.
Maybe when you’re hungry.
- This one I kind of do every day. - Yeah. Okay.
- Which one of those makes you feel like that, though?
- I don’t know. - We don’t need to pick that.
We can just say that lots of things happen during the day.
- Yeah. - And how does it make you feel
when these things happen to you? - Mad.
- Yeah. Would you mind drawing a face for me? A mad face?
- Mm-hmm. - That’d be really awesome. Thanks.
I know I should have gotten you a pencil, right?
- Mm-hmm. - Angry hair.
- I like that hair, though. So good. - Oh, yeah. Look at those angry eyes.
Yeah. - This is going to be funny.
[laughter]
- He looks pretty angry. - He looks mad.
He looks like he might be yelling. - Yeah.
- Okay. Do you want to write the word “mad” in there for me?
- I want to write “enraged.” - Okay. You can write “enraged.”
You know how much I love that word.
Do you want me to write it for you? - Yes.
- Okay.
- I [inaudible] spelling. - You’re both left-handed.
- Enranged. - Da da da!
- Baaah. - Enraged. That’s a good one.
- And I’ll give this spiky hair, too, so it matches your face.
So when you’re feeling enraged, Simon, what happens? What do you do?
- Mom, we talked about this earlier, and …
- Do you want me to tell her? - Mm-hmm.
- He likes to run away from the feelings, I think –
or what’s making him feel that way.
- Yeah. Yeah, I’ve noticed that about you, too, Simon, that when you’re
feeling really mad, that you kind of want to get out of the situation, right?
- Mm-hmm.
- And sometimes you do these things too. Right?
- So we can just put a little check by those two. Great.
And we’ve talked about this before. Is it okay for you to feel enraged?
- Mm-hmm. - Yeah. That’s totally fine.
So I want to think about, instead of running away, what might be
a helpful thing that you can do to help calm your body and your feelings?
So we’ve got, like, taking deep breaths or taking a break.
Coloring. Maybe … - Taking a break.
- Yeah? So taking a break? - Mm-hmm.
- And what would be helpful for the adults to do?
So if you’re feeling really, really mad, what would you want me to do?
So some options could be, like, give you some space or set a timer. Talk to you.
Just listen to what you have to say? - Mm-hmm.
- Okay. Anything else you could think of you might want your teachers to do?
- Sometimes you need space, right? - Mm-hmm.
- Yeah. - So maybe kind of giving you some
space and not following you around asking you what’s wrong all the time?
- Mm-hmm. Cross this one out. - Well, we can – I’ll just put a 1 here
and maybe a 2 here. How about that? - Mm-hmm.
- Because sometimes you may want people to listen to you, and that’s okay.
- Mm-hmm. - Great.
So I have a question. This is really – you can answer this,
Simon, or your mom can answer it too. Are these big feelings that you
have at home also? - Sometimes.
- Yeah? You feel enraged at home sometimes?
- Mm-hmm. - Sometimes.
- So do you … - Especially with my dad.
- Oh, really? That’s good for me to know. Thanks for sharing that.
- Mm-hmm. - So do you think the strategies
that you – got to flip over – the strategies that you picked of
taking a break could help you at home? - Mm-hmm.
- What do you think about that, Nikki?
- Mm-hmm. We have a nice swing at home that you can take a break in, right?
- Mm-hmm. - Great.
- Sometimes you get all your lovies and pile them up, take a break, right?
- Yeah. - Mm-hmm.
- So what do you think is the best way to communicate, Nikki,
between kind of what we’re noticing at school and what
you’re noticing at home in terms of how things are going?
- With the teachers? - Mm-hmm.
- Oh. Phone calls usually work the best because then we can …
- Okay. The best. - Yeah, talk it through.
- Talk things out. - Yeah.
- Great. So, Simon, the people who are on your team are me and your mom.
Can you think of other people that you might want on your team?
- Other grown-ups at school that you like to talk to?
- Yeah. That might be helpful to you?
- Miss Tracy?
- Yeah.
- Okay, so Miss Tracy on your team.
Anyone else you can think of?
- Miss Lily? - Yeah. Miss Lily.
- Okay.
- Is it okay if I say some or … - Mm-hmm.
- Miss Prash, maybe? - Mm.
- No, not Miss Prash? - I don’t know.
- Not sure about her? - Not sure.
- Okay. We can leave her off right now if we’re not sure. That’s okay.
- Miss S? - How about Miss Prash?
- Miss Prash. Okay. - Change your mind about her? Okay.
Great.
So then one of the other things I’ll need to do is share this with all of
your teachers so they know what to do. - Mm-hmm.
- So is that something you want me to do, or is that something
you and I should do together?
- Mm, you. - Okay. I’ll do that.
I’ll do that for you, okay? - Mm-hmm.
- All right. So here’s what’s going to happen next, Simon.
I’m going to take all of this stuff that we just talked about today,
and I’m going to put it together so it makes a little story like this.
So instead of saying, when this happens in one thing, we’ll just say,
when things happen at school, I feel enraged. And that’s okay, right?
- Mm-hmm. - And that you’ll try to remember
to take a break, and that we’ll help by giving you some space.
- Mm-hmm. - Sound good?
- Mm-hmm. Sometimes I want to be alone.
- Yeah. I think that’s good for us to know so that we can leave you alone
until you’re ready. - Mm-hmm.
- And then you usually say, I’m ready, don’t you?
- Mm-hmm. - Mm-hmm.
- Anything else that you want to share?
- Nope. - Do you have any questions?
- No. - All right. Well, you guys
can get out of here today, okay? - All right.
- Thank you so much, Simon. That was awesome.
- Thank you. - [laughs]
[Silence]