[Applause]
but before I get to that it would be
nice for you to find out a couple of
things about me where I'm coming from
and what my life is like so I'm going to
jump straight into my childhood I was
born 21 years back to a doctor and an
engineer very classic in the small town
called Ratnagiri which happens to be on
the west coast of India in the state of
Maharashtra I grew up in what a lot of
you would call a velvet cushion now why
I'd call it a well-made cushion is I
live in a happy family of course so my
father my mother my brother and I live
together and we have four servants at
home yeah I saw a couple of your faces
change I'm their stolen job was to make
sure I had everything I needed and I was
happy all the time
my mom in spite of being a very busy
doctor would make time every Saturday
and take us take my brother and I to a
park or a nest oil just to have fun I
had a childhood for example just as an
example of the luxury I had I hated cold
food and so did my brother which meant
that we would bring that the film back
from school untouched just because it
was cold now guess what my mother's
solution to this problem was she hired
an employee to drive my Tiffin to school
five minutes before incest every day
Sparta's brat yeah I agree to my problem
although was my very strict father now
he did everything from waking me up to
have to force me to do yoga and he also
forced me to talk to him only in English
so I
from the language in spite of being
brought up in the small town like
reflected a Gila has built to do his
best in bringing us up but like every
other Indian child I was really scared
of him and what I did to hide away was
to run to a path whenever he came back
home and I spent so much of my childhood
in this part that was besides my house
and this very Park was the place I was
first sexually assaulted in at the age
of six by a stranger did I know what was
being done to me I did it and I did not
figure out until a couple of years later
I very vividly remember my mother
talking about good and bad touch a
soiled lay harassment to this young
employee of hers and she mentioned that
you have to be careful with such things
can happen to you and at that very
moment I got this has happened to me but
I never spoke about it because I thought
it was my fault and I was too scared to
tell anybody anything about it and it
stayed with me for over a decade until I
could finally open up about it I was
very happy for the most part but growing
up I started to understand and absorb
things happening around me I started to
realize that my parents are very unhappy
with each other and their marriage was
probably falling apart
my father would done very abusive a lot
of times
verbally for the most part but also
physically at times and I have to admit
there are teens and their instant
instances I don't want to remember even
in my memories now in 2008 my mom and
dad had a similar fallout and it was a
big fight that night when my mom was
sleeping
my dad was so furious he woke her up
just to yell at her and he also abused
her I think that was the night my mom
had enough she left the house with both
of us my brother and I in the middle of
the night with no medical she had it
straight to the police station to file a
complaint of domestic violence
the first thing the police officer told
mom was and I quote you are a very
famous doctor such problems should be
solved at home this is going to bring a
lot of ill name to your family if the
word gets out my mom that day forced
them to take the company's complain and
never went back home after being
homeless for almost night we found we
took refuge in one of moms employees
houses as she started hunting for a
rented flat of a rented place to live in
which we subsequently started calling
home and this is where life began
I suddenly stopped getting 50 bucks when
I asked for five my mom was unemployed
my tiffin did not come in a car anymore
and things were changing they were
changing faster than I could imagine
things changed in just one night things
at school also started changing although
my grades remain just the same I was
still the topper of my class
surprisingly and I remember I used to go
to my open house in the school and it's
a celebration when you are topping your
class of when the classes
of seventy right but I had nobody to
celebrate that with my mom was busy
earning money to keep food in her
stomach and a roof over our head and my
father was busy denying my existence it
still kind of breaks my heart because I
used to talk the class and there's two I
had literally nobody to celebrate it
with and bring my report card
put it in the cupboard like it was just
another day Dean it is a very confusing
time for all of us and it was for me
also meanwhile my best friend in school
had stopped talking to me and I just
couldn't figure out why
and after overthinking for a bit like
every other little girl I did walk up to
her and asked her why she stopped
talking to me in the first place
her answer was pretty simple and
straightforward she told me her mother
had warned her to not speak to me
because I came from a bad family now
that's what a family that that's what a
broken family is perceived as in many
parts of India even today and I was the
victim of this very taboo that we live
in and with all of this now I had no
friends I had to make new friends and I
joined the most mischievous cult in my
in my class within no time I was a
leader of this cult and the most
mischievous girl not only in the class
but in the whole school and that didn't
fare very well with my teachers because
I got a lot of unwanted attention for it
and my parents died worst and fare
really well with my teachers either one
day I was walking past the staff room
and I heard two of my teachers say
something and they were talking about me
I had a lot of male friends in school
and I still do and I feel there's
nothing wrong in that but my teachers
didn't think the same way in the
conversation they said she's like that
because her parents had a dissatisfied
life and my response to the
was vicious I just wanted to get up
there nerves and I did that but with
that came a lot of disciplining me which
again is beating in a lot of schools
even today so I would do something they
would beat me I would do something more
they would beat me more and the cycle
became a very vicious one and my mom was
mentally against any sort of beating
that both either of my either of us my
brother and I was subjected to long
story short we ended up with the police
complain against the school very unusual
and my brother and I both had to be
taken out of school rather thrown out
also so we were homeschooled for quite
some time and I have to confess that the
best things have learnt in life the
skills that I really value and use at
this point are when I learned and what I
learned during that little period of me
being homeschooled jumping to 2014 we
had a collective realization that I
probably should go back to school but
sadly I emphasized a lot on small-town
and that was just so you understand that
it wasn't unusual to have two schools
that belong to the same Institute and
that was it so I had to move out to a
hostel which became my home for the next
two years and what the new school came
new opportunities to prove myself and
new opportunities to live a normal
teenage within no time I was the
favorite of teachers I was in the school
student council I was the president of
Rotaract in that school and I was doing
just so well I was happy
my next job after this was Kota now this
this point in life is where I started
experiencing emotional peaks and troughs
for the first time which I thought was
very momentary and would go away admit
from getting mad and crying
brutally over something as trivial as a
lost keychain to pushing everybody that
I loved away from me
one by one little did I know I was being
gripped by depression it got so bad to a
point where I did not want a life
anymore
but I was still topping my class by the
way I was my grade 12 board toppers on
one hand on the other I did not want to
live at all it ended up with me trying
to take my life away twice to fail
suicide attempts and that is what made
me realize and my family realized that I
probably needed professional help
I took therapy and I remember the first
therapy session I had my therapist was 6
hours away from the place I lived in you
know why I did not want to take therapy
in my hometown I wanted nobody to know I
was seeking help and I was embarrassed
of where I was I remember the first day
that I walked in it walked into my
therapists clinic the reception had me
and my mom sat on a waiting bench and
she called my name soon after I left my
mom on the bench and walked in to this
room a very bright room with a huge
wooden desk kept in front of it and
behind the desk was this bearded
thirtysomething year-old man who looked
straight at me and asked me how I was
doing I couldn't answer that I couldn't
answer how are you doing then he asked
me what brought me to him I bursted in
tears and for anything he asked me
thereon I couldn't finish a sentence
without breaking into tears no doubt I
was put on antidepressants and
antipsychotics the same day and my
biggest challenge in life then became
finding a reason to live I needed and I
today I needed an outlet and I needed a
reason that would still keep me going
now
while I was recovering my brother would
take me to slums to feed the poor
there was a well-wisher that was really
close to us at that point he had a
animal he had an animal welfare NGO and
he would take me along with him on these
animal rescue visits which I enjoyed so
much and my mum would take me to temples
and shelters to feed the poor and these
seemingly insignificant moments of my
life then became the highlights of
Maidan wavering existence a couple of
months later I managed to get into med
school while still on antidepressants
and antipsychotics but there was one
thing that was different I managed to
find one reason to live one purpose one
source of eternal happiness and I found
that in helping others I do not know
what I wanted in life and just to be
clear I still don't but what I knew was
I wanted to help others throughout in
whatever way I could and I wanted to
open a little NGO of my own to continue
these random acts of kindness
now moving ahead I go back sometimes and
think of a lot of what-ifs what if I had
a normal childhood
what if my parents never moved apart
what if I had never had depression what
if one of those whose side of attempts
went through if any of those what-ifs
came true I wouldn't be here standing in
front of you sharing my story with you
transitioning from someone that did not
want to live this life at all to someone
who does every little thing
to find happiness and a purpose in life
I can assure you things are so much
better when you do them to find your own
happiness and not because somebody asks
you to do something or what you or you
do something that you think is the right
thing to do today on I need each and
every one of you to prioritize yourself
and your happiness in whatever you
choose to do and you will see yourself
scale Heights
you've never imagined you could
[Applause]