MY NEXT GUEST STARS IN ONE OF THE BIGGEST SHOWS ON TELEVISION,
"THE WALKING DEAD."
PLEASE WELCOME LAUREN COHAN!
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) >> Stephen: WELCOME!
NICE TO SEE YOU.
>> THANK YOU.
>> Stephen: NICE TO SEE YOU.
>> THANK YOU, YOU, TOO.
>> Stephen: NOW I FOUND OUT SOMETHING SHORTLY BEFORE THE
SHOW THAT YOU AND I KIND OF HAVE IN COMMON.
IS IT YOUR UNCLE-- >> MY UNCLE WENT TO SCHOOL WITH
YOU.
>> Stephen: WE WENT TO COLLEGE TOGETHER AT A SMALL ALL-MALE
COLLEGE IN VIRGINIA.
HAMP CITY COLLEGE IN HAMP CITY, VIRGINIA.
THAT'S HOW SMALL IT IS.
DOES HE HAVE ANY STORIES ABOUT ME?
>> HE SAID STEPHEN WILL BE EXCEEDINGLY POLITE BECAUSE WE
BOTH WERE TAUGHT WITH THE HANDAGO BOOK OF --
>> THIS IS ACTUALLY TRUE.
MY PRODUCERS FOUND ONE OF THESE.
AT THE COLLEGE THAT YOUR UNCLE AND I WENT TO YOU ARE GIVEN A
BOOK OF ETIQUETTE WHEN YOU ARRIVE.
AND IT'S ALL-- AGAIN, IT'S AN ALL-MALE COLLEGE.
THE MOTTO IS, "WHERE THE MEN ARE MEN AND THE WOMEN ARE GUESTS."
( LAUGHTER ) BUT IT SOUNDS BETTER IN LATIN.
AND THEY GIVE YOU A BOOK WHEN YOU ARRIVE THERE CALLED, "TO
MANNERS BORN, TO MANNERS BRED."
THIS IS AN ACTUAL BOOK YOU GET AS A FRESHMAN.
DID HE TELL YOU ANY OF THE THINGS THEY TAUGHT US THERE?
LIKE, THERE WAS A CHAPTER CALLED, "WOMEN AND HOW TO TREAT
THEM."
>> YEAH, YEAH.
THAT'S HOW HE TREATS WOMEN.
>> Stephen: YES NEVER SIT WHILE A WOMAN STANDS, EVEN ON A
PUBLIC CONVEYANCE.
( LAUGHTER ) >> JUST KIDDING!
( LAUGHTER ) BUT YOU HAVE ALL KINDS OF
SECRECY DRES CODES AND -- >> OH, MY GOD, YES.
IT SAYS IN HERE, AVOID COLORED DINNER JACKETS LIKE THE PLAYING.
>> WHAT COUNTS AS COLOR.
>> Stephen: ANYTHING BUT BLARK BABY.
WHITE DINNER JACKETS LOOK BEST IN THE TROPICS AND ON HUMPHREY
BOGART.
STICK TO BLACK.
YES.
>> I WANT TO WRITE A MOCK-UP FOR THE LADIES' GUIDE TO THIS.
>> Stephen: YOU'RE ENGLISH.
DO YOU THINK THAT THE ENGLISH ARE MORE POLITE OR AMERICANS ARE
MORE POLITE?
>> I'M HALF GLRK HALF AMERICAN.
BUT I'M HALF POLITE.
>> Stephen: DOES EITHER SIDE ACCEPT YOU?
>> YES, MAYBE BOTH, MAYBE BOTH.
>> Stephen: TO ME YOU SOUND ENGLISH.
TO ENGLISH PEOPLE DO YOU SOUND AMERICAN?
>> EVERY TIME I GO HOME I'M AMERICAN AND WHENEVER I'M HERE
I'M ENGLISH WITH MY VOICE BEING EXACT LET'S SAME.
>> Stephen: WOW.
YOU SHOULD JUST LIVE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE OCEAN.
>> I TRIED!
>> Stephen: ICELAND OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT.
DOES IT BOTHER YOU.
DO YOU SAY, "NO, NO I'M ENGLISH."
OR "NO, NO I'M AMERICAN."
OR DO YOU LIKE THE HALF AND HALF.
>> I HEARD A QUOTE, THE WHOLE CONTEXT IS TOO LONG TO EXPLAIN--
ASKING TO CHOOSE IS LIKE ASKING TO CHOOSE BETWEEN A MOTHER AND
FATHER.
I THOUGHT OH, MY GOSH, THAT'S SO PERFECT.
I DON'T HAVE A PREFERENCE.
I AM HALF OF EACH.
I AM AMERICAN DAD, ENGLISH MUM.
>> Stephen: HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT THANKSGIVING BECAUSE THOSE
PILGRIMS ARE TRYING TO GET AWAY FROM YOU PEOPLE?
( LAUGHTER ) AND YET ARE YOU AN AMERICAN AT
THE SAME TIME.
LIKE, DO YOU-- DO YOU CELEBRATE THANKSGIVING WHEN YOU'RE IN
ENGLAND?
>> I REMEMBER THANKSGIVING, AND I CELEBRATE THANKSGIVING IN THE
WAY THAT WE ALL DO BY EATING.
YEAH.
>> Stephen: DO YOU EAT A LOT AT THANKSGIVING.
>> I EAT PILGRIMS, I EAT -- >> YOU EAT PILGRIMS.
YOU'RE ON THE COVER OF-- THIS IS NOT THE SORT OF THING YOU LIKE
TO SEE RIGHT AFTER THANKSGIVING.
IN THE CHECKOUT LINE THIS JUST MAKES YOU FEEL GUILTY.
YOU'RE ON THE COVER OF "HEALTH" MAGAZINE RIGHT NOW.
( APPLAUSE ) I'M NOT SAYING I'M ANGRY OR
JEALOUS AT YOU.
THAT YOU HAVE A FLAT BELLY.
BUT YOU MUST GET SOME HOSTILE STARES.
>> I'M GOING TO TELL YOU-- NOTHING LIKE HAVING YOUR
MAGAZINE IN THE SUPERMARKET MAKES YOU WANT TO BE HEALTHY.
LIKE YOU HAD THE PIE -- >> THAT IT'S POSSIBLE IF YOU TO
LOOK LIKE THIS.
>> YOU CAN'T GO SCHLUBBING AROUND.
AND YOU WANT TO, AND YOU GO DAMN ME!
>> Stephen: I HEARD THIS.
YOU SAID YOU STARTED USING THE HASHTAG NO MORE PIE.
>> I REALLY SAY IT TO MYSELF AND SHARE IT WITH THREE MILLION
PEOPLE JUST TO -- >> HOW MUCH PIE?
HOW BAD OF A PIE PROBLEM DO YOU HAVE?
>> I REALLY LIKE PIE.
IT'S AS IF -- >> IN ENGLAND THEY CALL
EVERYTHING PIE.
>> THIS IS TRUE, YEAH.
>> Stephen: THEY CHOP UP FILTRATION ORGANS AND PUT THEM
IN A CRUST AND GO, "PIE?" "SHEPPARD'S PIE?"
>> THEY PUT SHEPPARDS IN PIE.
>> Stephen: DELICIOUS.
>> IF THOSE SHEPPARDS ARE PASSED, THEN THEY CAN BE IN THE
PIE.
THAT'S THE RULE.
>> Stephen: YOU DON'T WANT ANY PIE?
NO MORE PIE?
>> NO MORE PIE.
>> Stephen: NO MORE PIE?
>> NO MORE PIE.
>> Stephen: REALLY?
ARE YOU SURE?
>> OH, NO!
>> Stephen: NO MORE PIE?
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) COME ON.
>> OH, WE'RE GOING TO BE CITY CIVILIZED.
WE'RE HAMPTON SIDNEY PEOPLE RIGHT NOW.
>> Stephen: I'M HAVING PIE FLASH BACK.
>> PIE-BACK.
>> Stephen: THAT IS REALLY GOOD.
>> NO PIE -- >> AGAIN, IF YOU BURY YOUR FACE
IN IT AND SCREAM NO ONE CAN HEAR.
HUGE CLIFFHANGER LAST SEASON ON "THE WALKING DEAD."
>> YES.
>> Stephen: SPOILER ALERT, YOU'RE STILL ALIVE.
HAVING BEEN ON A SHOW THAT IS SO SUCCESSFUL AND IS SO VIOLENT, SO
MUCH, ARE YOU INURED TO THE VIOLENCE NOW?
>> NO, I HAVE AN URGE TO STAY EXWAE FROM ANY BLOOD.
>> Stephen: REALLY?
>> BEING ON THE SHOW HAS NOT MADE ME STRONGER TO THE ELEMENTS
OR TO ANY VIOLENCE.
IT'S MADE ME EXTREMELY SQUEAMISH, LIKE, SO SQUEAMISH.
IF YOU SAY "NEEDLE," I WILL FALL IN THE PIE.
>> Stephen: I WON'T SAY THAT THEN.
>> I JUST SAID IT!
(BLEEP)!
( LAUGHTER ).
>> Stephen: AND YOU DIDN'T FALL DOWN, SO I CAUGHT YOU IN A
LIE!
( LAUGHTER ) WELL, THANK YOU SO MUCH LAUREN
COHAN.
"THE WALKING DEAD" AIRS SUNDAYS ON AMC.
LAUREN COHAN, EVERYBODY!