Vegan Chocolate Cake. When you hear those words, I know what you're thinking. Let's
get those beautiful images of me out your head running into the sunset through a field
of flowers and let's talk about what we're actually here to make this week.
Two tall, dark, moist, thick sponges, thicccc spelled with like four c's. Smothered in
whipped, cloud like, pillow soft, resembling type stuff that baby angels have sent us, called
frosting. That didn't help. You're still thinking about me. Let me show you how to make this cake.
(upbeat music playing)
All right guys. Crank your oven up to 350 but turn the knob slowly. If you rip it off out of
sheer excitement, I can't promise it's going to go back on very easy. Prep your baking pans. Eight
or nine inches work. Baking time may vary, but I'll show you how to tell it's done later in the show.
Get some parchment paper, carefully measure, draw circles, create a face if you're in the mood, then
cut them out like mini craft projects you didn't want to do in kindergarten. At least I did. Now oil
your baking pans. Slap these things inside and oil it again. One of the saddest things that can
happen when baking a cake is getting to the point of turning these things upside down and then your
cake is stuck there like it's in the principal's office. Let's make some vegan buttermilk.
Vegan vanilla buttermilk. Sounds complicated but not really. We're doing one cup of dairy-free milk,
tablespoon of vinegar, and two teaspoons of vanilla extract. We're gonna let that sit off to the side
while we get together everything else. At this point we're gonna grab a very large bowl to add
all of our dry ingredients in. (screeching noise) Wait did I tell you this was one bowl? If not, this is one bowl.
How amazing is that? Add in flour, cocoa powder, cane sugar, baking powder, baking soda, and salt.
Give all those guys a whisk until it looks like this, or this, yeah, yep this is good.
Right. Next with the wet stuff, we're going to add in oil, that frankenstein buttermilk
stuff I had you make, and we're going to fold it around with the spatula until it looks like this.
And now we add boiling water. I know I know, I didn't show you how to boil hot water. I
figured if I had to show you that you shouldn't be making a cake. You have bigger fish to fry. Also
I realize that's not a vegan idiom so I'm sorry but not really, that's your fault. I make the food,
you make the idioms. Now that we know our positions in this relationship, dinner time is at six, please
be home before the street lights come on. You could use a spatula to get everything going, I
usually switch over to a whisk to help break up the lumpy bits. At this point it's going to look
like you have chocolate water. Or maybe a bit of a fondue fountain thing like going. Don't panic,
the doctor said this is what it's supposed to look like. Spill this over into your prep baking
pans. Divide them evenly. You can eyeball it or you can be very studious and use a scale. Now that you
made it this far you can celebrate with a bit of a slick stroll to the oven. Careful not to spill
anything as you would officially lose this British bake off. While the cake is baking let's make the
frosting. I noticed I was low on powdered sugar and since this frosting is using about five cups
I need to refill. I bought this jar thing which is cool looking but not practical. As you can
see here, the opening is too tight so the stuff is spilling everywhere. Into a large bowl, we're
going to add dairy-free butter and cocoa powder. Cream that together until it looks something like
chocolate whipped cream. While inhaling some of that good powdered mist up your nose the
way it should be, add about half the powdered sugar. Once you can get your measuring cup into the cute,
not so practical jar opening. Alternatively, place the cup on the counter and just dump the powdered
sugar into it. Add half the dairy-free milk and mix that together until combined. Making sure to
go from end to end mixing it all in. Add the rest of the powdered sugar but this time have your wife
save you from the heartache that once was with one of her brighter ideas that you claimed later
to be yours. The rest of the dairy-free milk, mix it again. Then remember you forgot to add the vanilla
extract and blame it on the juice that got you feeling loose. Once thoroughly combined like any
good citizen give it a taste and boost your blood sugar levels as you prep to frost your cake. With
a toothpick gently jam it in the middle of the cake. We're checking for doneness so if only crumbs
come out this part of the mission is complete. With your sweet baby Jesus sponges semi-cool, carefully
invert them into your hand and place them on a rack to completely cool. These things are amazingly
soft. Just look at how they try to buckle in the middle. Trying to frost a warm cake is like having
a new puppy it goes everywhere but where it should go. So be patient grasshopper. With your cake ready
to be frosted, move it to a dj like turntable or a record player if you even know what that is. Since
I'm fresh out of those I thought this lazy susan would do the trick. A little frosting on the bottom
to hold things steady and with my fancy piping equipment that I got from amazon for ten dollars
I begin making my middle layer. Even with the fancy equipment it didn't make me instantly better like
the ad advertised. Typically I would have used a spoon a butter knife or even a hair brush for
my kids dolls to get the frosting on here. For the outside here I made a quick coat called a
crumb coat and I am going to chill the cake to make adding additional frosting as a final coat
a bit easier. It's not necessary to do this step but I was also fighting the urge to dunk my face
into the cake and this would give me a reasonable break to reconsider. With that chapter of my life
over it's time to frost the rest of the cake. At this point I notice I have no traditional toppings
to kick this up a notch so I chop up chocolate chips and efforts to be fancy and boom here we go
(music playing slow intro then builds to upbeat music)
Thank you so much for watching. Till next time. Believe in good.
Peace
(upbeat music playing)
Vegan chocolate cake.
Vegan chocolate cake. When I say that I feel a bit of an explosion in my --
Hold on this this is not the route I wanted to go.
Vegan chocolate cake
The only cake you'll want for the rest of your life. That sounds so dark.
Vegan chocolate cake. The - (alarm goes off)
That alarm is telling me I shouldn't say what I was about to. Vegan chocolate cake
my nickname on these hard streets by the way. To be or not to be vegan chocolate cake. I mean that's
that's like a no-brainer. I mean someone someone's gonna eat you at some point. So.
Vegan chocolate cake.
YEAHHHHHHHHH.
that's, that's the intro right there. that's the intro.
Woo! Got it.