This week, I've been looking over our old friend PrankInvasion's channel
And I've seen some shit that truly blew my mind
And left me with only one thing to say:
IT'S TIME TO STOP, CHRIS.
This has gone on long enough.
(High pitched) Look at this!
Chris!
What is this?!
Now the last time we talked about our boy, Chris
(Chris) So, today I'm at Venice Beach and it's 'No Clothes Family Day'
For "No Clothes Family Day",
which as we all
know and love, one of the most
treasured
holidays in America,
where you approach
girls who are with their brothers,
their grandparents,
and their cousins,
and basically poop in their butthole
Right there in front of their family.
(Man in green shirt) That's my daughter
Very wholesome holiday.
and I
know that I've enjoyed many
Family Days, down at Venice Beach.
That's my daughter
Now let me show you one of his more recent videos here,
that makes me think that maybe Chris
is making these holidays up!
(Chris) ...and so today, I'm here at Venice Beach
and it's Pregnancy Information Day
If I can guess
The exact month of how far along you are
I get, uh, a really quick kiss
(Woman) mmm...okay!
Okay, I'm gonna say
Seven months
(Woman) Yes!!
(Chris) Is that it?
(Woman) That is!
How did you KNOW?
Seven months exactly!
Well I hope you learned a lot
today, Chris, from Pregnancy Information Day
Let's see what happens
[slurping kissing noises]
[slurping continues]
(Chris) Y'know what, I'll give your stomach one kiss
GROSS what the fuuck
[kiss]
IT'S TIME TO STOP, CHRIS
So he goes around the beach finding pregnant women
and fucking makes out with them,
feels their belly,
and this is when Chris starts to, you know, charter into the kind of
It's not even, like, porn for kids anymore
This is just weird fetish shit.
Like, you need to have a very specific fetish to get into this whole
pregnancy
[kiss]
Now here, this is my favorite part of the video--
because so far, they could've been fake--
but he sets this up
just to prove to all you haters
That he is actually making out with pregnant
hotties.
(Chris) I know it sounds crazy
(Woman) Okay.
(Chris) You're down? Okay cool
lemme see
you wanna see it?
Yeah, yeah I'll see it, that'll be--
She's like, 'do you wanna see it?'
'Ooo'
'I'm not sure if I wanna lift up my shirt and show you my pregnant stomach so you can touch it and feel it and kiss it, you weirdo'
So here he proves that he is actually
out there with pregnant
cuties
and getting weird and wild with it
So go ahead and touch that, because that's gonna enhance your ability to guess how old
the baby is
(Chris) um....
Okay, I know nothing about pregnancy,
but I'm gonna say, like,
It's either five or six, imma say uh...
six months
(Woman) What, are you serious?
(Chris) Is that it? (Woman) Yeah!
(Ethan) No way!
Are you serious? Six months exactly?
well, you are the king of Pregnancy Information Day, aren't you, Chris?
[slurping kisses]
So he got the pregnant girls.
But this new one,
this video,
his newest one,
made me say:
To myself, audibly
IT"S TIME TO STOP, CHRIS.
This has gone on
too long.
It's time to stop!
I don't think you're ready for what you're about to see, and I'm not overplaying it
[loud dubstep]
WHAT UP INVADERS
I'm here at Venice Beach
and it's Mommy Make-out Day
What?
Did you guys hear the name of this holiday?
Mommy Make-out Day
MOMMY MAKE-OUT DAY?!
NO, CHRIS!
NO, YOU DIDN'T JUST SAY MOMMY MAKE-OUT DAY
You cannot say that with a straight face
I must've misheard him
Invaders, Chris here
a'ight so today, I'm here at Venice Beach
and it's Mommy Make-out Day.
Mommy Make-out Day!
Mommy Make-out
(slow motion Chris) Mommy Make-out
Mommy
Mommy Make-out Day
Day, Day, Day, Day (fading out)
[sigh]
I feel like all the terrible things happening in the world recently--
I mean people talking 'bout "2016 is a hard year"--
This is the worst thing that's happened in 2016
Mommy Make-out Day
(Chris) Mommy Make-out Day
[sigh]
(Chris) Mommy Make-out Day
[sigh]
It's Mommy Make-out Day
(slow motion) Mommy
Make-out Day
Day, Day, Day, Day (fading out)
(Ethan) Oh my god...
No
Chris, no
Now wait and see what this Mommy Make-out Day
means, guys
(Chris) You're absolutely gorgeous,
what're you doing here at the beach,
Just hanging out?
(Woman) Just enjoying the sun, it's a great day!
(Chris) Awesome, what's your, uh, what's your son's name?
(Woman) This is Colby
(Chris) Colby, hey, good to meet you Colby
(Ethan) Hey, nice to meet you Colby
I'm gonna go, uh,
Slam dunk your mom right in front of you on the beach
how's that sound little Colby
How 'bout this, if I can guess your son's age
I get a kiss
Yeah, okay
Why'd you got to involve the kid, like,
If I can guess your son's age
just
play a different game, dude!
The kid doesn't wanna be a part of this, man
it's Mommy Make-out Day not, fucking, traumatize lil' Billy
Jesus!
But wait
There's more
She holds little Billy's hand.
While Chris
fucks
the shit
out of her.
She continues to hold little Billy's hand
and you know that Chris said,
"Keep holding the kid's hand"
Now watch, lil' Billy's going in for a little extra peep, 'cause he's saying 'What's Chris doing to mommy?'
This is the moment
[sad violin music] when little Billy knew
He would blow up a kindergarten.
It clicked for him right now at this moment
when he looked away and looked back
he took a peek, said 'what's mommy up to?'
and you know what, Chris?
You did it.
You made this happen.
All I need to say
is that IT'S TIME
TO STOP, CHRIS
PLEASE!
This is the kind of stuff that hairy, six year old sex offenders share over the dark web
Using TOR so the FBI can't track them
And here it is, right on YouTube
This is such a specific fetish!
'I'm gonna kiss some mom, who's holding the hand with her kid, while the kid is watching
This is on YouTube right now, 2016
It's time to stop.
Next edition, Daughter Edition
No! I don't want daughter edition!
Chris, please! the world can't handle a daughter edition
It's time to stop, dawg.
(Chris) I have to tell you, you're absolutely
gorgeous
(Ethan) There's a mom at the beach in high-heels
holding a little toddler
and there's some asshole on a segway in the back, let me appreciate that
I mean, appreciate that, what the fuck dawg
what the fuck dog
So here's ma- hot mom
In high heels, at the beach
while HOLDING a toddler
like ya do
on Mommy Make-out Day, let's see what Chris does.
so here you can see Chris going in for the kiss
While mommy holds her little toddler in the other hand
[gag]
WHY
[choke]
It's TIME TO STOP, dude
not with the toddler in your hand, where did they even get that baby?!
Where do they babies to be in this shit, you just get babies, Chris?
This is too mu-
[choke]
[gag]
[cough]
Now this next clip, you got a hot mom in high heels again
I'm not gonna make fun of her 'cause it is Mommy Make-out Day
But I would like to—to point out that this heroic kid is kicking sand on Chris' feet
And I just wanna say, dawg
I know you're a young little bro
I just want to acknowledge how fuckin' dope you are
that you see Chris for what he is
And although you've been seduced with candy
he knows, and he kicks the sand on Chris like he deserves
He keeps laying it on too, man
This kid's a hero
Now with all these absurd names of all the holidays like:
Mommy Make-out Day, you know, No Clothes Family Day
Mommy Gang-bang in Front of Little Johnny and get Pooped in the Butt Day
You would think that it's pretty obvious that Chris is not really pretending that this is real
I mean it's too absurd to believe
and it feels like, him and his fans must all just
know that it's just a fantasy, it's just-
It's just a lil' jerk your ding dong on YouTube
Fantasy, right
but what if I told you
That he's actually claiming to his fans that it's real
And selling them a method, the Invasion method
On how to pick up cuties
any cutie you want!
FOR 30 DOLLARS A MONTH!
CHRIS, IT"S TIME TO STOP
Look at this shit
Prank Invasion dot com
you gotta watch this
(Chris) Welcome to the Invasion Method guys,
you're only a few
clicks away from learning exactly,
step-by-step,
how to meet girls and make out with them in seconds.
(Ethan) I mean, honestly, it doesn't surprise me as much that Chris is trying to scam his audience in
to whatever little money is left in his channel
but
the fact that anyone believes this is real
the fact that CHRIS
could even sell this to anyone, as if he actually has some
secret knowledge
rrrreally
Truly blows my mind
(Chris) If you guys watch my YouTube channel, you'll know, in high school, I used to eat lunch
In the bathroom stall alone
Because I had no friends
I didn't know how to talk to guys, I didn't know how to talk to girls
now look at me, I pay girls to kiss me on camera, and then I pretend like it's real
and try to sell the method to little kids to make money
LOOK at me
look how far I've come, guys
(Chris) What if we could systematically
create a secret technique; a secret approach
That would work on girls every single time
and get them to make out with you in seconds
wouldn't that be great?
(Ethan) What the fuck are you selling, dude?
The only approach that works 100% of the time is rape
are you selling rape, Chris?
These techniques are so powerful
(Chris) I was seriously debating whether to release them or not
basically superpowers, to be able to walk up to any girl that you find attractive
make out with her,
get her number,
and even take her home that same day.
If you think that's worth an investment of $29.99
I wanna see you on the inside
Unlike Tai Lopez who just sells, like, shitty obvious advice
Chris is just
lying to these kids for 30 dollars every month, DUDE!
Chris, MOMMY MAKE-OUT DAY, you can't
you can't put that on the internet, dawg
Mommy Make-out Day
What up invaders, Chris here
Mommy Make-out
MOMMY
Mommy-Make-out
Mommy Make-out Day Day, Day, Day, Day (fading out)
WHAT UP INVADERS--
No, Chris, no (Ethan and Filthy Frank in unison) IT'S TIME TO STOP!
Day x9 (fading out)
I don't even know what to say at this point, guys
just make sure you tune in next week for Daughter Edition
Maybe he's gonna foak 'n' go suck some dad's dick while his daughter holds their hand and watches
[whew]
It's time to stop, dude.
[outro]