Have you ever been treated rudely by a stranger?
Or maybe you're surrounded by a rude or toxic environment.
Perhaps you have experienced your family member,
significant other, or friends
behaving rudely in front of you.
This is exactly what happened to Nancy.
Meet Nancy.
- [Nancy] Hello!
- [Narrator] Nancy is a bright, cheerful college student
who is also working a part-time job
in her school's convenience store.
Her close friends describe her
as a glass half full kind of girl,
hardworking, extremely courteous and polite.
But her friends worry.
They say her extreme politeness
can take a toll on her emotional well-being.
Rude people can sometimes take advantage of her strength
and behave improperly in her presence.
Oh no.
So, how does she respond to these rudely-behaving fellas?
Let's find out, shall we?
One fine afternoon, while working her part-time job
in the convenience store of her college,
a young lady walks up to the counter.
She plops a can of energy drink and tuna sandwiches onto it,
all the while frantically looking for something
in her sling bag.
- [Nancy] Excuse me, did you forget to bring your card?
You can scan using the college app,
if you've downloaded it inside your phone.
- [Narrator] Nancy said politely.
The woman rolls her eyes.
- [Customer] And what makes you think I brought my phone?
- [Narrator] The customer raises her voice.
Nancy is taken aback by her snarky remark.
She then remembers what her mother has always taught her,
to be empathetic towards people,
even if they might seem rude to you.
So this is the time she can use her power of empathy.
She decides not to take the rudeness personally
and just let it go.
The woman storms off,
leaving the drink and sandwiches on the counter, unpaid.
- [Nancy] Maybe she's having a bad day
and is projecting that upset feeling to the world.
- [Narrator] Nancy thought to herself.
She feels quite calm and assured
when she does not let the negative behavior
affect her emotion.
As they say, rudeness begets rudeness, and is contagious.
So yes, dear Psych2goers,
one tip when encountering a rude person
is to break the cycle of rudeness
by choosing to empathize and be kind.
Moving along.
Do you know what happened when Nancy
had to prepare a presentation,
along with two other groupmates the other day?
Meet Will and Amber, the school's hotshot couple.
They were Nancy's groupmates.
Unfortunately, both of them contributed
very little to the preparations.
Nancy was the one always arranging a meeting
to discuss what they should do regarding the presentation.
And most of the time,
the couple would bail out.
They said they're too busy with their other classes,
sS they always postponed the discussion.
The class presentation was in two days,
so Nancy decided to send the couple
one last text in the group chat,
inviting them to complete the slides
together with her in the library.
They ignored her invitation.
So Nancy proceeded to looking for information
and doing the slides all by herself.
And that is how she spent the whole weekend.
Finally, after finishing up the sides,
she logs onto her Instagram,
only to find it filled with pictures
of the star couple's Saturdate.
Outraged, she then remembered reading an article a while ago
on how to behave when someone is rude towards you.
It said one of the ways is to count to 10
and take a few deep breaths,
so she did that.
- [Nancy] One,
two,
three.
- [Narrator] Nancy counted taking
a few deep breaths in between.
She asked herself...
- [Nancy] Is it really worth losing my cool over this?
- [Narrator] Nancy decided that it's a waste
of her emotional energy
to let this get under her skin.
She lets it go,
since she doesn't want the situation
to take up too much room in her life.
Two days later, the group presentation turns out quite well.
The professor compliments the slide presentation,
stating that the designs and bullet point information
is very engaging to the audience.
Hearing the compliment,
Nancy is elated and feels appreciated.
However, her bubble of joy bursts when Will says...
- [Will] Thanks to my dearest Amber
working very hard for the presentation.
Without her, these slides would be super dull.
- [Narrator] Hm, do I spot another rude
and disrespectful behavior?
Psych2goers, here's another tip.
When you're dealing with disrespectful people,
you need to summon up your courage.
Always trust your gut instinct and intellect.
Whether you want the situation to roll off your back
and not fight back,
or put your foot down and make it clear
that you won't tolerate any more rude behavior,
you need to know when to be assertive and speak up
and when to just ignore rude behavior.
- [Nancy] This is unfair.
- [Narrator] Nancy thought to herself.
- [Nancy] I spent a whole lot of time
finding the information and making the slides all by myself,
and now someone else is gonna take the credit for it?
They're being rude and disrespectful towards myself
and the time that I spent making the presentation.
- [Narrator] So that's what made Nancy
stand up in the lecture hall.
- [Nancy] Uh, Dr. James.
- [Narrator] She addresses her professor.
- [Nancy] I am their groupmate.
I'm the one who spent my whole Saturday
making the presentation.
- [Narrator] Leaving Will and Amber shocked,
Nancy continued.
- [Nancy] I designed everything and even edited the video
that was played at the beginning of the presentation.
The only thing that they were involved in
is to attend the class
and present from the notes I made on what to say
and highlighted during the presentation.
- [Narrator] She also wanted to spill the beans
about them in lying to her
and ignoring her when she asked
for a discussion regarding the presentation,
and having fun, instead.
But she thought that what she'd said was already enough
to let people know that it was her
doing the gritty work behind the scenes.
And she won't let people like Amber or Will
take away the appreciation from her.
- [Dr. James] Okay, Nancy, thank you for letting me know.
- [Narrator] Dr. James then continues.
- [Dr. James] Will, Amber, I'll need to see you after class.
Nancy, I'll see you separately, and will let you know.
- [Narrator] Dr. James asked to meet Nancy two days later.
He asked her some questions and clarified things with her.
Dr. James said that this will not affect
their carry marks in any way,
since the presentation is judged collectively as a group.
- [Dr. James] I appreciate you standing up for yourself.
- [Narrator] Dr. James said.
- [Dr. James] I hope this experience
will teach you more about yourself
and how to deal with others,
and you did a really good job with the presentation.
Thank you, Nancy.
- [Narrator] Nancy feels appreciated.
She feels ever so grateful
to have a supporting lecturer like Dr. James.
She walks back home with a light heart
and a skip in her step.
After all, there is a way to stand in the face of rudeness
without resorting to it yourself.
Have you ever encountered a person
behaving rudely towards you?
How did you respond to them?
Now that you have some tips and advice from Nancy,
let us know in the comments below.