[whip crack]
Top of the mornin' to ya, laddies! My name is Jacksepticeye, and welcome to Fish Feed and Grow!
I think it's just called Feed and Grow, but it's like a fish version of it? I don't know.
This was recommended to me on Steam, I think it's because I played Tasty Planet recently. I'd never, ever heard of this game before,
it was just in my recommended list, and it looks kind of cool, 'cause it has a similar vibe to Tasty Planet
and Spore, and that you have to [reading subtitle] "Jump in, swim, and feed on everything that's in it."
"Feed on everything that's in it." Feed on everything that's in what?
[reading bottom line of subtitle] "Or just get eaten by everything like it usually happens." Okay, so I have to get into single player
and start in a river on normal... "Deathmatch?"...
I have no idea what's happening. Oh, play! Okay. Is there sound in this game? At all? Please?
...This is really weird. I might actually have to add in sound myself. [gasp] Ooh, lots of fishers!
'Kay, you're free, so I can start out with a piranha. That's good.
Uh, settings... fish select... Play!
"Respawn available in 2 seconds." ... Is... This multiplayer?
"Press 'space' if you're ready." ... Oh, god, this is janky as all hell.
Oh, god, the controls are weird. So, is this multiplayer or single-- oh, it's single player. It asked me if I wanted to play single player already.
[laughing]
Okay, I have to get in and eat everything. "Danger." Okay, I got it, I ain't no little bitch fish.
I'm dead. [laughing]
God almighty! C'mon man, I'm better than that!
Do I have to eat you guys?... Do I have to eat my brethren?... I better not have to! These are my friends!
Ah, god, I don't know what the fuck is going on. Ah, there's other fishers!
Ahh, I get it! Hyahh! Hmmph! Gah, I'm not fuckin' bitin' anything!
Eat them! Eat the fishies! Can I actually eat these? I have no idea what's going on. What the fuck do I do then-- It's callled Feed and Grow, not--
Ohh, there we go. YES! CHOMP 'EM! CHOMP 'EM BY HIS ASS! I fuckin' got 'em. I got 'em, I killed 'em.
NICE!
What else can I do? Ooh, god. WHOOSH! Can I suck people towards me?
Is that what that attack is? I have no idea.
[evil laughter] OH, WHEN YOU GRAB THEIR ASS, YOU JUST KEEP CHOMPIN UNTIL THERE'S NOTHIN'!
YES!
Ah, right-click seems to add EXP or somethin'. I have no idea what's goin' on. This is a weird-ass game.
But I'm into it. I like it. I like eating other fish with my fish. That's the fuckin'-- RULES OF NATURE! GET 'EM! GET 'EM! BITE HIS ASS! YES!
He's a bigger one! He's a bigger one! Am I supposed to be eatin' the chunks that fall off as well?
... I don't know what I'm s'posed to be doing. Am I supposed to be eating this?
Everybody else is fuckin' eatin' them! Am I even doing anything correctly in this fuckin' game? Level up! [realization] I have to swim into them, not bite them.
What the fuck am I doin'?
This sucks! I'm bad at this. Stupid piranhas. Stupid piranha bastards. This current is much stronger than it was a few minutes ago!
Goddammit. Okay, eat all the fish! Eat the little ones. It's fuckin' circle of life, baby!
Aww, man. Did I eat my friends? Can I eat these dudes? I wanna eat these dudes. LEMME EAT THE FISH! Let me eat the piranhers!
[in Russian acccent] Everybody try to eat fish upstream. But if you come down lower, smaller fish get washed away.
C'MERE, YA BITCH FISH! I will NOT take no for an answer when I'm tryin' to bite your face off!
Yeahhh. Give me that caviar. Nice. Nice bit of trout. Yeah! Ugh, c'mon, get it! Get the thing!
Aha! I gotee! 'Kay, so I have four. Maybe that's what that sucker attack is. I don't know what any of this is! What the hell am I s'posed to be doin'? How do I finish the level?
How do I get bigger? It's called Feed and Grow! I haven't grown yet!
Oooh, crabby-crabby! The crabs are eatin' them, too! [triumphant] Haha!
BITE HIS FUCKIN' ASS! LOBSTER BITCH! C'MERE! Uhu-hu-hu.
Oh, he's fightin' back, though. Oh, god, that was bad. YEAH! Level up!
What? Ohh, getting all pieces of fish is good. Aww, I feel bad for that little dude. Look at the size of him!
DIE! You're nothin' but eyeballs, anyway.
Where did he go? AHH!
If I didn't know any better, I'd say I'm gettin' bigger. I'd say I'm bigger than I was before! Hahaha!
Yes, it's working! [chuckle] Those little guys are like little Nemos or something and I feel so bad for killing them,
but then I realize I don't feel bad, BECAUSE I LOVE EATING FISH!
In real life, too, 'cause fish is delish. There's a reason those two words rhyme.
C'mere. C'MERE! It's fuckin' hard to get you when you're flying away downstream! C'mere!
Yes! I have eleven! I don't know what that eleven means, but I'm gonna eat until I am MASSIVE!
Oh, the eleven is like my currency, then I can buy the bigger fishes. The bigger fisher! [gasp] I wanna do that thing!
This is fun. "Danger." Aww, no danger for me. I live danger. I am danger! [deep voice] I am death!
[evil laughter] I'M BACK, BITCHES! DID YOU GUYS THINK YOU COULD GET RID OF ME?
I AM THE BIGGEST FISH IN THIS LAKE! IT'S ACTUALLY A RIVER, BUT I'M GONNA... FUCK! FUCK YOU!
Agh! MINE, NO! MINE! Ahh, bastards. Hate havin' to share with my brothers and sisters! I didn't want to do it when I was born, I don't wanna do it now, okay.
My fish! Don't scavenge-- DON'T YOU BASTARDS SCAVENGE OFF ME!
I am the one who will eat this fish! Ahh, fuckers! Stealing all of my EXP.
Why can't I bite them? Why can't I bite their fucking faces off? If I could, I would, and you'd all be dead!
Look at these big bastards! AHH, GOD!
Those are big-mouthed bitches! They were just like,
HEEEEEEEEEYYYYYYYYY!
Fuck, man! Aww, now I'm tiny again!
I want another fish! Can I become a pike? I need 25. That's what they were. A fuckin' pike.
Ohh, I'mma getcha. "Abilities: Passive, bloodthirsty. Deals more damage with each bite. After a few bites, blood bursts everywhere.
Okay, what is yours? Your velocity is converted into bonus damage on next hit! [gasp] I want him!
Agh, god, there's-- I found out a way to glitch upstream, as well, cause if you battle the current, you don't go anywhere, but if you go up to the top of the water,
and then you try to battle it, you're above everything and you can fly miles. That's why I got to the pike area, and then they all bit my ass to deathness.
OH, MY GOD, IT'S A BONE REX! OH, MY JESUS! KILL IT! KILL IT!
AHAHA, AHH, HE'S FUCKIN' TERRIFYING. YES! YES! GIMME THAT! YEAH!
SUCK IT, BITCHES! You thought I was the runt of the litter. Turns out, I are the bigger! The bigger of the litter! Now I can get a better fish. Now I can pike it up!
Here we go, are you guys ready for the pike?
What am I gonna call him? Spike the Pike! I started at a different part of the fuckin' river, though.
RAHH! RAHHHH! GIVE ME, GIVE ME ALL YOUR BONES! [deep voice] YEAH!
How much do I need for the bone rex? Forty?!
Might as well just get 50 and get the bigger dude.
Wait, can I eat the piranhas now? I'll get these little bastards. C'mere! C'mere, you little shits. YES!
OHH! OHHH! OH, THEY'RE STRONG!
"You don't have enough points to spawn with the selected fish."
WHAT?
Do I need 25 every time I have to spawn?
ARE YOU FUCKIN' SERIOUS?
Well, that's a load a' dicks!
[scared] Keep bitin' 'em. Keep bitin' 'em and stay at his back. If I stay on his back he won't kill me.
AHH, HE KILLED ME IN ONE BITE! [fake, short sob] Ahh, I don't like this.
Why do I keep spawning as a bullshit little piranha? And it resets your level every single time? That's ass!
I'm never gonna feel like I'm making fuckin' progress now!
[deep sigh]
I have a plan of action this time. Are you guys ready for it? I'm going to get to 25, then turn into a pike--
AHH, RUN AWAY! MOTHERFUCKER!
How do I even get away? I'm stuck to 'em! He just ate me.
I'm gonna get to 25, get a pike, and keep him alive forever, 'cause you can kill things super fast.
Don't attack the lobsters, don't attack the pikes, just attack the little shit fish 'cause I can't attack anything else. Can I eat the fuckin' plants?
I can! They give me EXP. Eat the plants and grow!
If I eat the plants and grow to a bigger fish, 'cause they give me EXP for the next level, then I'll be bigger! I don't actually have to keep eatin' fish all the time. I need fish for currency,
but not to grow. ... This game is fuckin' weird.
Here we go! Fish select! Pike. Okay. Nope, nope-- fish select, pike-- 'kay.
"W, S, forward back, left shift, sprint... Camera zoom." Camera zoom might be nice.
Right mouse is "Eat." "Eat food and smaller creatures: starfish, shrimp meat, or bones." Yeah, okay, I got it, I got it, I know how to play, I'm just fuckin' bad at it.
Least now I can eat the other piranhas, except they all come in hordes, and latch onto you, and SUCK.
Can I play the other level yet? I want the other level. At least the other pikes don't eat me now. I need to get big, I need to become a giant fish.
If I become a giant fish, then nothin' can fuckin' bother me... Yes, lots of these things around.
Wanna become a giant pike. A giant pike'd be nice. Pike is delicious fish. Have you ever had pike? I have. This guy's bite speed sucks!
Ughhh!
He's really fuckin' powerful, though. Look at that shit! Yeah, level up! Now I'm gettin' big. Now we're a big fish. Ohh, I'm gonna be the biggest pike. A pike the size of a fuckin' bike.
Did I get 'em? He's a one-hit kill on these dudes. I see a crabby! I see-- where's that crab?
Ohh, I see him. Is he dead or alive? I think he's dead. I think somethin' else killed him but just didn't eat him. KILL HIM! Yeah! WOOH!
Am I level three yet? Almost. Almost, baby! ...This is fuckin' fun. YES!
I'm tied for big fish in little pond! HBURRGH! Bite a bunch of 'em, all at once. [whisper] Yeah.
Thank you little fishers!
[singing Jaws theme] Duhh-duh.
Duhh-duh.
Duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-DUH-DUH-DUH-DUH-DUH-DUH.
That was a little shrimp! Ooh, big fish, big fish. I want the big fish. I WANT THE BIG FISH! GIVE ME THE BIG FISH!
HUAGH-- CHOMPER! NYAGH-- CHOMPER! YEAH! FUCKIN'! DIE! FISHY! BITCH!
Feels good to be a king of the fish jungle!
WOAH, WOAH, BONE REX, NO, GET AWAY, GET AWAY-- HOW DO I GET AWAY? ONCE THEY FUCKIN' BITE YOU, YOU'RE STUCK! THAT'S BULLSHIT!
[angry] OHHHHH!
Fuck's sake, back to main menu. Did I unlock another level? How do I unlock that? Beta map... Oh.
I can just fuckin' play it anyway. Aghh, there's different fish in here. Could'a been playing this all along. What's another one? Back to main menu.
Ocean. What's in ocean?
Same thing-- oh, god, oh, Jesus Christ, I could be a fuckin' tiger shark?
That'd be pretty boss! Okay, let's do this, then! What does this guy do? What's your ability? "Passive: Rage. Everytime you deal or take damage, you gain 10% damage and 20% bite speed.
Okay! And I need 5 for the next fish. This should be fun! Hopefully. The other place is a bunch of ass.
You start doin' well, and-- oh, god, you're so slow. You start doin' well, and all of the sudden, a big fish comes out and you're like, "No, don't, no." Oh, starfish, yeah.
Big fish! Big fish! Get 'em! Everybody latch on! Ahh, hahaha. C'mon! Get 'em! Get 'em! I'm not even bitin' 'em. Eat that! Fuck.
Get 'em! Yeah! I'm such a scavenger. I just came in and took all their work. [laughing]
Yes, eat! Eat the little bubbly things. Nice. I wanna be a big fish. I'm already at level 2. It's fuckin' awesome. Ocean is a bigger place. I like it. There's more shit all around the place to eat.
Nice. It's so disorienting at time, though. Yes! More meat! More meat for Jack! Eat the meat! Fuck yeah, bro! This is awesome!
And it's only a two-bite kill! Nyagh! Nyagh! NICE! I'm gonna be big in no time! Nobody can make fun of me, then. Oh, god, that's a big fuckin' eel over there.
Oh, god, what the fuck is going on over here? Should I be part of this? OH YEAH! OH YEAH!
Oh, it's just like playing Agar.io, or Slither, or somethin'. You come in and you take the fruits of everybody else's labor. [laughing]
Sorry, boys. Jack's gotta eat.
Oh, god I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die. Eat it, eat it, level up, level up, get big, get gigantic, get huge, GET SWOLE. GET SWOLE, BRO.
You ever seen a fuckin' fish get swole?
You're a--- AHH! GET AWAY FROM ME! AHH! How the fuck do you get out of that? As soon as you're caught, you're boned!
Okay, well I'm gonna leave this episode, then, of Feed and Grow here. Actually really fun game! Way better than I was expecting it to be.
I need to learn some tactics in it, though, to get away from everything. Says down here in the bottom left that I have four health, and I didn't have four health. Bastards.
I got way too into that. But anyway, thank you guys so much for watching this video. If you liked it, punch that like button in the face LIKE A BOSS!
And [gets close to the mic] high fives all around!
[making high five sounds]
Thank you guys, and I will see all you dudes... [high-pitched tone] IN THE NEXT VIDEO!
[outro music]
This game is scary. That's why it should be done in, like, an ocean. If you don't like the ocean, then you're gonna be scared of this game. That's my lesson. [laughing]