- Being able to determine exactly what your man wants.
Does he want a relationship?
Or is he only interested in sex?
Knowing what to look for and knowing how to determine that
is really helpful for finding a guy who aligns
with exactly what you want.
And so today I'm gonna share with you six signs
that a guy is only interested in sex.
Check it out.
(soft music)
Hey there this is Mat Boggs,
the Founder of the Love and Relationships Division
of the Brave Thinking Institute,
where our mission is "Empowering people to create and live
a life they love."
And that includes your love life.
So if you like this video, click the Subscribe button,
click the little bell because every week we bring you videos
that empower you and your love life.
And so today we're talking about six signs that a guy
only is interested in sex.
Now, there's nothing wrong with that.
You might be at a phase in your life
where you're not looking for something serious
or a committed relationship.
You're just looking for sex.
That's completely okay.
The point is to align yourself with someone
who wants what you want.
If you're looking for something more serious,
and he's only looking for sex or vice versa,
that's where friction occurs,
where expectations are unmet
and where pain in the relationship happens.
The first sign that he's only interested in sex
is he will put sexual phrases in his dating profile.
Now he'll put one of two types of phrases
overt or covert sexual phrases.
Overt sexual phrases are like,
"I'm looking for a woman who's DTF."
Which is an acronym for down to (beep)
if you didn't know, right?
Or, "I'm looking for someone who's willing to be FWB."
Which is friends with benefits.
So he's literally telling you, "I'm only interested in sex."
That guy is not interested in a committed relationship.
Or he'll use more covert phrases.
Like, "I'm just looking to have fun,"
"just looking to keep things casual."
"I just want to be in the moment,
"meet as many people as possible."
Those are great indicators that this guy's not interested
in building something deeper with somebody,
but just interested in exactly that, having fun,
keeping things casual,
meeting as many people as possible
and having sex along the way.
The second sign that he's only interested in sex
is his texts gets super sexual super early.
Right out of the gate.
He's jumping into the sexual conversation.
And the reason men do this is
because he doesn't want to waste his time.
He doesn't want to waste your time.
And he wants to know where's your head at?
What are you interested in?
Are you interested in sex?
Or do you want something more committed?
Or both right?
So he'll get really sexual early.
He'll say things like,
"hey, so what's your favorite position?"
Or he'll ask you to send him suggested pics of yourself.
He might send you some naked pics of him.
So if he gets really sexual early,
there's a couple of different ways that you can respond.
Most women shut a guy down and say, "that's inappropriate.
"I can't believe you would send me that."
And that totally rejects him.
What's interesting is sometimes guys
are in the middle of their dating phase.
They're loving just casual hookups,
but they're also kind of open to something more meaningful.
So if you wanna find out where he is,
then communicate in a way where you draw your boundary
and you invite him to step up
if that's what he wants.
And a great way to do this is to send him
something like this, where you say,
"hey, don't get me wrong.
"You're highly attractive,
and that's the kind of conversation I reserve
for when someone's my boyfriend."
And the reason I love this
is because it shows that you are also sexual.
You would be willing to have that conversation,
but only when the relationship meets your standard.
Really powerful phrase for qualifying him
and knowing is he gonna step up
or is he gonna step out?
Number three, is that he only sees you on his terms.
Be worried about the guy who's not willing to meet
you in the middle.
He's asking you to drive to his side of town.
Or he's only able to meet you after work,
it's late, in odd hours because it works for him.
He's super busy.
He's got a lot going on.
Well, meanwhile, you're super busy.
You've got a lot going on.
You've got your own life.
And if you find yourself compromising the times
when you really want to meet to meet his schedule,
that's a sign that he's in this for the casual connection
of it.
He's in this for convenience.
Someone who's in this for deeper reasons
is gonna make a bigger effort.
He's gonna invest more of himself
because the relationship matters more to him.
And number four is it always gets sexual.
The guy who only wants sex when he gets together with you,
he's gonna find ways to bring the conversation back
to sex.
Be close to you, snuggle you, touch you.
He's not interested in talking about the deeper things
he doesn't want to talk about your family,
he doesn't want to talk about your work, your dreams.
He's not sharing about his family, his dreams,
his mindset is "I like you
I'm attracted to you.
Let's go jump in the sack."
So the mistake that many women make
is to think, well, he wants sex,
but he also might want something deeper.
You don't really know if he wants anything deeper.
And it just safe to assume that if he's keeping
the conversation surface level
and always bringing it back to sex,
just assume for the moment that he just wants sex.
And the last tip I'm gonna give you
I'll share with you a great question
for how to discern what he really wants, but for now,
if it always comes back to sex,
safe to assume that's his top priority.
And number five is the guy shuts down
when you tell him no.
A guy who's only interested in sex
is gonna get frustrated.
He's gonna get irritated.
He might cold shoulder you.
If you're not willing to give him
what he wants then he's like, I'm outta here.
He'll find something else.
He'll make an excuse why he's got to leave.
He's got work early in the morning.
And it'll be this shock
you'd be like, "wait, what happened?
"We were having a great night."
And as soon as he found out
that he wasn't gonna get
what he wants, he's out of there.
The guy who was interested in something more with you,
the guy who cares about you,
the guy who wants to develop something with you.
Yeah, he wants to have sex with you too.
But if you're not willing to,
then he's not gonna get irritated
or make you feel guilty or try to shame you,
any of that.
All of that is immature manipulation BS.
The guy who really is caring about you,
who you want to develop something with,
he's gonna respect your boundaries,
respect your timing and willing to have
an open, honest conversation
about what the two of your needs are
to progress the relationship forward.
And number six is he will tell you that he only wants sex.
How do you know if a guy wants sex?
He'll actually tell you,
but most women never ask.
They don't know how to ask or when to ask
to get this information.
And this particular skillset can save you weeks.
It can even save you months of dating the wrong guy.
I've had women take my Manifest Your Man program,
learn this one skill and it's served them so much.
And I call it the magic wand question.
And so I'll share with you right now.
On date number one,
you say, when do you ask this?
In the first interaction
or even on the phone before you even get on the date,
ask the guy this, say,
"hey, can I ask you kind of a personal question?"
And he'll say, "yeah."
And then you say, "but you have to be honest.
"If I'm gonna ask you this,
"you got to answer completely honestly,
"you swear, you promise."
And he'll say, "yes."
That commitment, he'll lean in and be completely honest
with you.
And then in a very playful way,
you say, "if I gave you a magic wand
and you could have anything you wanted for your love life,
what would you create?
What would be happening?"
And he'll share with you exactly where he's at
that he just wants to have fun.
He just wants to have sex,
or he's looking for something more meaningful than that
and a deeper relationship.
He will tell you.
The key is at that moment to believe him.
I had one particular client come through the program
and was like, "Mat, oh my gosh.
I asked a guy I had been dating for six weeks
that question.
And I was trying to figure out where he was,
what he wanted.
I finally asked him that question after six weeks
"realized he didn't even want the same thing that I wanted."
And so we were able to say,
"okay, I guess this isn't a fit."
He respected me.
I respected him.
We went our separate ways.
And I was able to attract a much better guy,
a guy who wanted exactly what I want.
So I encourage you to use that magic wand question
it will save you tons of time.
Now, my question for you
is we just covered six signs that a guy
only wants sex.
What have you learned?
What have you found when a guy only wants sex
what have you seen him do?
Go and post that in the comment section below,
this is gonna be a great comment thread.
And know this, whatever relationship you want.
You can have that relationship.
The fact that you desire it
means that there was a man who is the counter point
to that same desire, wanting that same thing with you.
I believe in you.
I support you.
I appreciate you watching and I'll see you soon.
(bright music)