So I, 39, Male, just caught my wife, she’s 38, of 14 years, together 17 years, cheating on me with her District Manager for about 2 years now.
Before I get into details, there is a back story to all of this.
I want you all to get a full picture, and decide if she was entitled to cheat, or did I just pay off a debt I owed.
In 2012, I took my wife to get her tonsils removed at the hospital.
They gave me her belongings, as she couldn't take them inside the surgery room.
Her phone kept buzzing.
I took it upon myself to see who was blowing her up, and I read tons of inappropriate emails with another man at work.
She was reading, "50 Shades of Grey" at the time, and was referring to the man as her "Christian Grey", Something she would call me.
I was pissed, and wanted answers, but unfortunately, she couldn't talk after surgery, so on the drive home.
I handed her a piece of paper with a pen, to answer all the questions I had, and she wrote, "it was nothing but flirting".
I grabbed my 2-year-old, and brief case of clothes, and went from California to Arizona on a mini weekend getaway with my support team, my best friend and his wife, to stay away from her for a while.
Once back, she informed me that she deleted her email, and it won't happen again.
Fast forward a few years, and I just could never get over the fact that she would betray me the way she did.
I wanted to get even, and felt that it was the only way to move forward from it.
I met a client who showed me some attention.
We started texting, and while my wife would go out with her friends and party, I would secretly leave my son with my mom and go see this woman.
We had an affair, and I eventually fell in love with this other woman.
After about 9 months, my affair partner tells me she's pregnant.
The first thing that came to my head, was playing Usher's Confession song, and actually confessing to my wife, Which I did.
She took it pretty well, as she told me she had an idea, and that God was preparing her for that moment.
I told her that I wanted a divorce, and would like to start a new life with this other woman.
She told me that we can work things out, to go to church more, and get therapy from the pastor, and all should be great.
How could I say no to that?
I had to break the news to the pregnant AP who was under the impression that we were going to start a new life together, the bad news was, we weren't.
Fast forward a few months, and I find out my wife is now pregnant.
3 months apart from AP.
She wanted to feel more secure over the other woman, so she basically forced us to have another child together.
It's December 2014, and I went from having 1 kid to 3 kids, in a blink of an eye.
It's been crazy, but I'm there for all my kids.
Now, let's jump over to the present time.
My wife and I have had our fair share of bumps in the road, but I truly am loving the way we are raising our beautiful children.
I have come a long way, and have been faithful and committed to rebuilding our relationship.
I go out of town for work from time to time, as does she.
Just found out, that for the last 2 years, she's been having this affair with her boss.
Every happy hour event after work, every time she spent doing over time, every trip to San Diego, or Valentine's day in Portland.
He was there keeping her warm in a hotel room.
Here's how I found out.
She went for drinks after work, and I asked, "What time do you plan on being home"?
She tells me 9PM.
9PM comes around, and she's nowhere in sight.
I call her and call her, and nothing.
I got a text with a picture of her female co-worker, and it's informing me, that she's just grabbing a few more drinks before heading out.
I found it so weird, that she could text me, but can't give me a call.
I zoom into the picture, into a napkin that was on the table, and see where she's at.
I drive 45 minutes from home to look for her, and there she is, at the bar with her boss with his arms around her.
I walked up, and they were both shocked to see me.
She was quick to say, "OK bye"...
I'm like, "Bye, but I just got here, did I interrupt something?"
She proceeds to tell me, she's closed up her tab, and she's leaving.
I stay with her boss.
Her boss is drunk at this point, and he's talking to me about his wife.
He tells me, that she doesn't pay any attention to him, and how they do whatever they want.
This is the first time I have met this guy, and he's getting personal.
He asks me, if I've ever caught my wife cheating, and I proceed to let him know that I haven't, but if I do, it wouldn't be a pretty sight.
He orders another drink, and I see my wife calling him on his phone multiple times, I found that very odd.
In the middle of his drink, he gets up and leaves, to what I thought was the bathroom, but he actually leaves the bar.
I take off home, and have tons of questions for my wife.
Her response was, "I'm sorry, I should have told you he was with us as well”.
I’ve never been the jealous type, and a friend told me to check my phone records.
OMG, My heart dropped when I found out she's been talking to him Monday-Friday after work for 15-30 minutes at a time.
I confronted her with all the phone bills, back as far as 2 years ago, and she informed me, that after work, she has end of day reporting to do, and he needs those numbers to report to his boss.
It was such a good lie.
Keep in mind, she's not salary, and clocks in and out, so, in HR’s point of view, reporting numbers after clocking out would be considered illegal.
I needed proof of their conversations, but how?
I decided to record their conversations.
I'm not going to mention how I did it, but once I heard what was said, my heart broke into a million pieces.
She had conversations with her own cousin, talking about how much he brings excitement to her life, and it's not only the sex, but how funny and goofy he is.
She talked about how dumb I was, to believe the "End of day” calls were real".
She said how they would have to lay low for a while, and "where there's a Will, There's a way", and then, there's the conversation between the two of
them, where they talked about how much they loved one another, and how they make each other feel.
She’s Caught!
I knew I was furious, but didn't know what to do.
Do I go to their HR?
My wife just got a promotion, should I tell them, because she's screwing her boss?
I did the only thing I could think of, I contacted his wife.
I did a ton of research with some help of course from a good buddy that loves drama.
Contacted his wife on LinkedIn, and waited for her to call.
She did, and I told her everything I knew.
We put dates together, and they've been having a blast for years now, while we both were being played for fools.
We did a 4 way call, but they denied it all, even after the recordings.
They both finally came clean.
Now I have to ask myself, Do I stay for the kids?
Or leave her, because my debts from my wrong doings have been paid?
She's begging for me back, but I've moved out, and pick up the kids to take them to school every morning.
She still works under him, and swears it won't happen again, but how can I trust that after 2 years of loving another man?
She let him in her heart, and pants.
Is this my chance to leave her, and start a fresh new life, or do I stick around to make sure my kids grow up with an undivided family?
Is there hope for this toxic, unhealthy marriage?
Should I get the district manager fired for his wrong doings in all of this?
What should I do next?
I know two wrongs did not make a right.
I'm here for advice, if anyone has successfully kept their family together for the sake of their children.
Well, here we go again, another man is asking, should he stay in a toxic relationship for the kids?
Well Audience, help him out.
Remember when I said, not every man has the flash Gordon mentality, meaning, get the fuck out, and fast!
This is one of those men, and why?
Well, he has been with the same woman for 17 years, and she has betrayed him, and now, he doesn’t know what to do.
He even thought getting even would be a viable solution, NOPE, I think she manipulated him, when she said, hey, let’s work on it, and get help from the pastor.
That didn’t work.
Yeah, she had a hidden agenda.
I don’t usually crucify men for making poor choices after his significant other’s infidelity has been revealed, and I am NOT going to crucify this guy, you guys will do that for me.
Oh, I am leaving a link in the description so you guys can go educate him.
Until Next Time..