so in the late 90s I ran a very
successful business we made millions
selling test and measurement equipment
to the government I had whatever I
wanted and I could have afforded
anything I could give away money to
anyone I could do all of these kind good
things but I realized that happiness
isn't gonna come from money and success
but I needed something deeper I grew up
in a successful Jewish family and my
parents did well my grandparents did
exceedingly well our Jewishness was
really important particularly to my
father's mother on our identity and who
we were there's one time I went to a
mall and there was some Christians that
came up to me to tell me about faith in
Jesus and I just remember getting angry
with him this Jesus who you're following
is a false prophet why are you sharing
this with me I'm Jewish and unreasonable
anger really that I had towards them I
suffered from depression when I was
younger and really struggled with it and
I was even suicidal I would often
contemplate killing myself there's this
overlying feeling of I'm not loved like
I want to be loved and I can't love
others like I want to love others
so my depression had led to this
emptiness and so I would seek friendship
I would seek love from people who had
accepted and I found that amongst the
community that was involved with drugs
and alcohol and that really affected my
grades and my education to the point to
where eventually the principal I
remember calling me to his office and
and he told me that that he's getting
that he's kicking me out of school
you're not gonna come back to this
school any longer and he said and I'm
gonna do everything in my power to make
sure that you don't come back to the
school when I was in college I
befriended this guy who was sitting next
to me and one day he asked me if I
wanted to do something with and I didn't
hear what he said and so I said okay and
so we started going downstairs and he
asked me if I had my Bible Bible why
would I have a Bible I'm Jewish I don't
want anything to do with this
he had answers for everything and so I
ended up going into this study they went
to a book called loop in chapter 15 and
there's a story of a young man who
wanted his inheritance early from his
father and he took it and he went and he
squandered it and just lived crazy and
lived wild life and lost everything and
then he remembered that even the
servants in his father's house lived
better than he was living and so he was
going to go back home and be his
father's servant and he went home and
his dad saw him and missed him and loved
him and embraced him and really said
you're not my servant you're my son
I had never ever felt anything like this
in my life I felt this piece over me and
this this feeling of acceptance and an
overwhelming love oh my gosh there is a
God who loves me and what I've been
doing for years has been just separating
me from him in the way to know him is
through this person who is speaking in
these words that person Yeshua I founded
another New Testament and I started
reading sections out of it and every
time I'm reading it the same thing is
happening the same joy the same love and
it was removing my depression I was no
longer suicidal it and I was thinking
how could a book do this how could just
reading words do that to me I broke down
I just came to the realization of this
is real that through this person Yeshua
I can be reconciled to God and
everything that I did that separated me
from him all of this life that I was
living that was completely isolating me
from him that despite those things he
loved me and through this person he
wanted me to come to know him personally
I owe my life to Jesus because I know
full heartedly that I would have killed
myself if it wasn't for what he did in
me and how powerful that He gave His
life so I could have it and now I
understand love
you