- Is there anything you're hesitant to ask me?
- Yeah.
- What?
- Yeah.
- Do you want to ask it now?
- I'm about to pass on camera.
(both laughing)
Do you miss what we had?
- Yes, I miss it.
I think it was important for that time in my life.
I don't think it fits right now because
- We're completely.
- Yeah, we're far like distance wise and
we're just on a different journey.
That's the sense I got and we haven't really talked a lot
a whole lot about our.
- I know this is,
- Yeah, like our goals and you know what
we want and everything we haven't done that for three years.
So, but I definitely hold what we had in high regard
like it is something
that I haven't been able to find anywhere else.
(the lady laughs)
So
- Yes.
- That was very special to me.
What else would you ask?
- I thought it was just me.
- About what?
- Like missing what was there.
And once it ended, I honestly thought it was just
you're fucking suck Steve.
(the lady laughs)
And it was just,
- I mean, I was definitely not trying to talk to you
or reach out or anything because
of the betrayal.
That was crazy, and you didn't
and on the flip side to turn it on me like I'm cheating
and I'm out here and I know I wasn't.
That was really, I don't know.
I'm not trying to guilt you - That was a good move.
No no but that was,
I have no problem, - It was like.
- It was it was a dick move.
But that's why I wasn't following,
that's why I was getting out of hand
and controlling and aggressive - Yeah.
- And really just trying to restrict everything,
which is exactly why I had to give you
I gotta let you go.
I can, just how I was acting, I already knew
I was a toxic one.
And my own insecurities of that one
because of what I did affected everything.
So it's basically just my ego gotten away.
Big time.
- I agree.
- Me too.
- On the ego.
(the man laughs)
How do you think our lives would be different
if we never met?
- I don't know.
I have no idea maybe,
I don't think I would have been the,
I definitely I wouldn't have been the person I am today.
And I know that for a fact. - Why?
- Yeah.
- You feel like
I don't want to put words in your mouth
but you feel like I made a change in your life?
- Yeah.
I feel like
with you, I was actually able to open up
and like really just be myself
no matter who or what was around.
And I know like if you weren't,
if we never met like I probably was still been that whole,
I going to say scared little boy,
but just I've been a lot more conservative.
Yeah, a lot more. - That's colorful.
- Yeah.
(the lady laughs)
I will ask you the same. - Yeah, I answer.
I think I wouldn't have known as much about relationships,
love and just being happy.
I don't know about you - Yeah.
- But I was really happy when things were good.
- I did too, sometimes too damn happy.
- Yeah, like it was almost too good but it was it was great.
- Yeah.
- It was great and was good. - That was good.
(the man laughs)
- Soon
- Yes is.
- All that means.
- Every like everything like it was.
You were my best friend 1,000%.
- Yep.
- Yeah.
- That's what made it really sucky.
Hey, today I'm,
But you know, when it ended,
it's like I lost my boyfriend and my best friend.
Like, you know,
- I'm sorry, and I've said it multiple times and
- I know it's okay.
- It really isn't, but
- I feel like everything needs to happen,
- For a reason.
- Yeah.
- Of course.
- Not everything needs to happen
but everything happens for a reason.
And it happened for whatever reason.
So, gonna use these tissues.
I'm good.
- That was my question.
- Yep.
- Crazy but I definitely feel like we covered this one.
- Really.
- Yeah.
- What do you think, I think was the reason we broke up?
- Like What's the reason?
- Yeah.
- To your point of view?
Oh God this is horrible.
I think that you thought
I think that you thought I didn't love you anymore.
- Awesome percent.
- I think you didn't, like we were in a bad spot
we were like barely talking.
So I feel like that's part of the reason why you decided
to come clean because you sort of, you know,
it's nothing to lose at this point.
- Now that she hates me anyway.
- She hates, yeah.
She hates my guts let me just come clean.
Why did you?
- Why did I tell you?
- Yeah, like did you just like wake up and
- Like so that's as time - You didn't take it anymore.
- As time went on, of course we felt the split in the road
we were definitely drifting apart.
- Yeah.
- And I was, I know what if,
if this is how I was drifting,
I know because this is something I did.
So I can't even be like hey or try to break it down
at the end of the day a fact is a fact.
and I knew I messed up and is not fair for me
to hold on to you knowing that I fucked it up.
Who am I to clip your wings for my errors?
So that's when I came clean and
- So you wanted to set me free.
- Yeah, I was like I felt like I was keeping one a prison
it felt like I was keeping in a prison.
And that's not me.
(the man laughs)
- Yeah.
- That's not me.
My flow code kind of made me self conscious
about everything, every little thing and I,
- About physically and,
- Everything like,
- Everything you did?
- My missile made me think she's out there
going to cheat on me.
I was like and I couldn't sleep I was like
and it got to the point where like
I it's gonna sound crazy,
I had to accept all the gift she cheats on me then
I would fucking my the same thing.
- So you think I was cheating?
- That was it was my own self consciousness
but what made me think. - Yeah.
- You always on the phone
always or like I do remember this one thing that happened
that definitely set wrong with me.
- Okay.
- When we were at the Asian restaurant and we were eating.
- Yeah.
- And you look at me and you told me
how attractive the waiter is.
- Yeah.
- And it's like, I'm here trying to build something with you
and you look at me in my face
and tell me somebody else's looking better
or someone else's, and just like,
cause I know we were on a day and like,
oh wow, she looks good.
- I would have been cool with that.
- I'm not gonna do that to you.
- But we were like we still look at girls together,
you know, like we used to be like she is hot.
- But at that point I was already kind of feeling you a lot.
And it was just like.
- You didn't want to hear that, about another?
- Yeah, I didn't, nobody wants to hear that.
I'm really with somebody who I'm really enjoying
my time with he told me somebody else look better than me.
- I didn't say, he look better than you.
I know that's how you received it.
But I was just saying.
I know I said it as a comment.
Like he was really cute.
I didn't say like he looks better than you
but I know that probably.
- Yeah.
- That's how you took it.
Because you wanted the attention you wanted to.
- I want yeah, - Yeah.
- I wanted to be in your vision.
And like, even though it was just the beginning
is coming like oh.
(the lady laughs)
I'm all ready knocked off the pedestal.
I'm just here for food.
- No.
- Like it.
- That's how you felt?
Well, okay.
- And I was like all right so everywhere we go she's,
it felt like you were just looking around everywhere else
- Okay.
I didn't know it was that, I knew that we
because we spoke about things like that
and you not liking when guys looked at me,
but I didn't know it was that excessive.
- Would you ever consider,
would you ever consider dating again?
Why or why not?
- Like dating in general or like dating you again?
- I think dating me? - No we are done.
(both laughing)
- Would you ever do anyone ever?
- When I consider dating you again.
I mean as of the past three year until today,
we have not said one word. - One word.
- To each other.
So,
if I'm going to be real, I would say, yeah.
I would say yeah.
Why or why not?
(the lady laughs)
- Just because I realized the toxic person,
you got to see your own bullshit sometimes.
So once you understand that you were the toxic person,
everything about you changes,
you move differently, you think differently,
you understand that, it's what you do that makes
the difference, not how people act around you,'
what everybody else is doing,
is what you're doing in the time you got it.
So if I'm being real,
nothing's guaranteed.
I don't know how the universe works.
But if the universe sent you my way again, yeah.
Yeah.
- And like we both haven't found a connection anywhere else?
- No, I don't even live here anymore.
Like I find - What is so
(both laughing)
Right no you are
- Yeah I can't find anywhere.
- Whole different it seam.
- But then it got to the point where it was like
maybe the relationship
I needed to really be having was one with myself.
- Yeah.
- So, be.
- Absolutely.
- Question as yours.
(the lady laughs)
- Whatever, consider dating again,
I consider it maybe,
I just,
I'm not in the place to even date right now
because I am - Yeah.
still working on myself and recovering from things.
And if we ever did date, you know,
we'd have to have a lot of talks.
- Yeah.
- Real talks, transparency and just realness.
And then we'd be able to answer that question correctly.
And, that covers all, I think.
- Its makes me glad, as you know.
(the lady laughs)
It's good to see you though.
- Yeah same here.
- Yeah.