I know you're here.
You can come out.
What do you want, Clark?
It's like this, Bruce.
Sooner or later... somebody's gonna ask me to bring you in.
Someone with authority.
When that happens--
When that happens, Clark...
May the best man win.
Bruce...
I think it's time we put our differences aside.
And worked together.
What?
I...
What?
I mean...
Why?
You're Batman.
Yeah. And I have... no special powers.
I'm basically just... rich.
And nuts.
Rich and nuts.
Bruce.
Your scientific mind alone--
Is completely useless
when we have a man
that bullets literally bounce off of.
Your fighting skills--
My main nemesis is Bane.
Basically just a roided-out jock with a gas mask.
And he straight up broke my back.
You could've taken him down with one hand!
And with the other hand, you could've just jerked it.
Da da da da da!
Super jerk!
It's just....
I don't... [sighs]
You're cool.
Oh, oooookay.
I get it.
You're having an image problem.
Don't be ridiculous.
I'm Superman.
Yeah! Exactly!
It's fucking white bread!
You're boring.
Look at you and your stupid outfit.
My father gave me this outfit.
And your dad's dead!
Get over your dead parents already.
Didn't your parents die?
DON'T BRING IT UP!
I WAS A BOY!
NOW I'M A BAT!
I'm sorry--
MY SUIT IS COOL!
BECAUSE I MADE IT MYSELF, DADDY'S BOY!
You got a stupid S on your chest.
In case we could forget who you are.
It's my people's symbol for hope.
Hope starts with an H, stupid.
Okay. It-- okay, stop.
Face it.
You're lame.
You're wearing eye makeup!
Fuck you!
I didn't just inherit my abilities from a different fucking atmosphere.
"This air makes me strong!"
You fucking nerd!
With your nerd hair.
Batman! Superman!
I saw the Bat Signal, what's going on?
Commissioner Gordon, Batman and I were discussing a partnership.
Wait, but why?
That's what I said!
Yeah, that seems completely unnecessary.
Right?
I've been dealing with you lunatics for about a decade
And this is... I can't believe it...
I'm gonna say this...
I'm in total agreement with Batman.
Feels good.
Why are you guys being this way?
Somebody's gotta tell you, man.
You're boring.
Pretty lame.
Even your alter ego, I mean...
I picked, like 1970's Hugh Hefner.
You picked, like, a...
One of the Newsies.
Yeah, what is up with that?
I didn't base my alter ego off the musical Newsies.
Which Newsie did you base Clark Kent off of?
Was it Crutchy?
I'm not Crutchy!
I'm getting a strong feeling that it was Cruchy.
I'm not Crutchy!!
And I prefer if we didn't discuss my alter ego around the Commissioner.
Take it easy Crutchy. I know that you're Clark Kent.
What?
Um, news flash.
It takes a little more then wearing a hat and/or glasses to fool people.
Really?
Check this out. Watch.
Uh oh! I'm someone else! Are you fooled?
I'm not Commissioner Gordon, he's gone--
WHO ARE YOU?
Where is Commissioner Gordon?
Ohh!
You're back.
- Commissioner, there was someone else. - Shhhhhhh.....
Superman, you saw him.
There was another man.
Okay. Okay.
He's hiding in the shadows!
The man's gone.
You know what? Screw you guys. Just...
Just forget it.
You know all this lameness might be one of the reasons why you've never been able to
"Seal the deal" with Lois Lane.
Ooh!
Leave. Her. Out of this.
She's always just throwing that brassy, sassy, news reporter poon in your face.
Like, "Hey!"
"This just in!"
"Put this... just in me."
Stop.
What's the point of being the Man of Steel if you don't know how to use all that metal?
Hit it!
ENOUGH!
You're adorable.
Yeah. What are you gonna do, sweetie?
Burn us with your magic eyes?
That'd be a first.
You always use it for something lame, like cutting through an iceberg. Or heating up an old woman's porridge.
"Is that soup to cold, madam?"
Bzzzzt.
I'd use that stuff to take off Bane's arm.
Stop it!
I came here to team up!
Not to be berated!
Hey Clark.
Guess what I'm doing under the cape.
Use your x-ray vision.
I'll save you the trouble.
I'm giving you the bird!
What's this mean on Krypton?
Gratitude?
Ouch!
Goodbye!
What a dick.
Yeah.
"The letter S is also the symbol for hope on my planet."
I'm glad they're dead.
WHERE IS THE COMMISSIONER?
WHO-- oh, you're back.
And I hate you again.
Yeah.
I'm confused easily.