- Hey playa!
Have you done something so bad
that just the thought
of your parents finding out about it terrifies you
but deep down inside you also want to be able
to talk to them about it? Don't worry.
In this video, I'm gonna teach you how to talk
to your parents about something bad you did
so that everyone can be okay with it
and you guys can more forward together.
♪ This is The Josh Speaks ♪
♪ You're watching The Josh Speaks ♪
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We've all been there before, you did something stupid
and now you kind of regret it.
But you're not really scared about dealing
with those repercussions.
You're more worried about what you're parents
are gonna think or how you're parents are going to react
when you finally tell them.
In some instances, I'm sure you're thinking
it's probably better for me to not tell them at all
and to keep it to myself.
While in others you're also thinking
man I need to tell them because I don't know how
to handle this problem by myself.
Well let's solve that internal debate.
Telling your parents what happened
is going to lessen the burden for you.
And the reason for that is that it's not going
to be hanging over your head.
You're not going to be worried about them finding out.
And if they do find out are they going to be angrier
than if you told them?
You're not gonna have to worry about any of that.
So just coming clean about it
allows you to start looking for solutions
rather than hiding the problem.
And I'm saying that from experience
because growing up I hid lots of things from my parents
hoping they would never find out.
But when they did
they were more disappointed in me than angry
and that disappointment really really tore deep into me.
The problem here is that you as someone that's young
may not have all the knowledge or awareness
on how to handle this situation.
So talking to your parents about it does give you a leg up.
They can bring in their experience
and even if they've never dealt with
what you're dealing with before
they may know someone who has or they may know how
to point you in the right direction.
As much as we don't want to believe it
our parents are not our enemies.
They're supposed to be our caretakers, our guardians.
They're supposed to look out for us
and help lead us in the right direction.
So if you can't turn to them and talk to them
then you're not really taking full advantage
of the fact that they're your parents.
And that doesn't mean every parent is gonna approach
the situation equally or even level-headed.
We always forget that our parents are people too.
And they have their own thoughts, feelings, and emotions.
So when you share something with them, they may react
however they're gonna react.
Hopefully, they can remember that you're their child
and their job there is not to scold you
or to bring you down but it's to help you figure out
a solution, to work together as a family.
Taking that is mind, it's important to think about
who you approach this situation with.
For example, maybe your mother is more caring
and understanding where your father isn't.
So you may want to share it with your mother.
Or maybe it's the opposite.
Try to think about whether or not this is something
you want to share with both parents or just one parent.
And have that parent relay it to the other one.
I've seen situations where people have shared things
only with their mom and then had their mom
filter it for their dad so their dad can be a little
bit more understanding of the situation
since it's coming from the mom and not directly from you.
And in other situations,
it makes sense to sit both parents down
because by telling both of them there at the same time
neither one of them is gonna step out
and get angry because the other one will be there
to cool the flame.
Or you may live in a single parent household.
And they're the only person you can talk to.
Either way, it's important to understand
that person's dynamic even if they're your parent.
How do they respond to bad news?
How can you share things with them
in a way that they can understand and be helpful?
Another thing to remember is to try to schedule
a time to talk to them when there aren't gonna
be any distractions.
Meaning you don't want to quickly tell them
right before they jump into doing something else
because that stress is gonna follow with them
there into that conversation.
So do it when everyone has a bit of free time.
Everyone can sit down to talk.
Everyone can digest that information
and you guys can work through it together.
Now you might not always be able to tell them
in that moment on the fly
but if you look at their schedule
and see when they're free.
Ask them if they can carve out just a little bit
of time to talk to you.
You'd be surprised how many parents will actually do that
when they see something is important to their kid
and their kid wants to talk to them about it.
And it comes to delivering the thing
that you want to talk about
remember to let go of your defensiveness.
You're not jumping in ready to defend your reasons
or to defend your actions.
You're simply going in to share it with them.
So if they get upset, if they get a little annoyed
remember they're not annoyed at you
they're annoyed at the situation.
So if you can look past that and remember
that hey this person is working through their feelings
so that they can help me, it'll help you be more
honest and vulnerable with them.
And I know I said there's a way to tell them about it
without getting anyone angry
but the truth of the matter is this.
It's that sometimes your parents might not be
the best people to talk to about it.
So you instead might want to reach out to a teacher
or school counselor or a family friend.
Someone you know will be there to hear you out,
to listen to your story,
and to help you through that situation.
Finding the right people to talk about your situation with
can be just as important as dealing with the situation
because they're gonna give their honest and open advice.
They're there to help you.
So whether it's your parents, whether it's a family friend,
or a teacher or a counselor or someone else that you know
that can offer you guidance, turn to them.
Be open with them. Be honest with them.
And work towards finding a solution for your situation.
And look, no matter what you've done
there is a way to handle that situation
with love and kindness.
The bad action has already happened.
What matters now is how you move forward,
how you carry on with your life,
and how you work towards being your best self.
But what do you think though?
Do you have someone that you can talk to
if you ever do run into a bad situation or need help?
Leave your comments down below and we'll talk about it.
The learning doesn't end there though.
If you want to learn how to ask for help,
chapter two of my book carries it.
My book, Embracing the Awkward,
you can order it now on Amazon.
I go more in depth on how to ask for help.
So check that out and also click on the playlist
right there on your screen which is gonna have
more videos on how to communicate better with your parents.
How to kind of reveal things to your family.
How to kind of work on those relationships
that you feel are struggling.
So check those things out and I'll catch you guys tomorrow.
As always love and peace.