- Hello, I'm Tam.
Today I'll be watching a movie I've never seen before,
called The Big Lebowski.
I don't know much about this movie,
there's White Russians,
that guy from Dumb & Dumber is in it,
John Candy is in it,
and they bowl.
And I've got my White Russian and I'm all ready to go.
(ice clinks)
Yum.
It's not John Candy, it's John Goodman.
John Candy's dead.
It isn't the guy from Dumb & Dumber,
it's Jeff Bridges.
Ah! (laughing)
Not that bad, what they're doing to him.
Uh oh.
(gasping)
I took bowling in college,
and failed.
Slightly turned on by these disgusting men.
I feel like bowling shoes are a scam.
(gasps) He's in this?
- Preferred nomenclature...
- Not that big of a deal that he peed on your rug.
Ohhhh,
there's two of them.
He's so lucky to have such good friends.
What is the deal dude?
Fucken' dry-clean it.
- He told me...
- I mean, no.
That's not your name.
Uh, this guys gonna end up eating a turd or something.
Go fuck yourself, dude.
Not Dude, like, the other dude.
Is that Tara...
God Damn Reed?
- A thousand dollars...
(laughing)
- She's amazing.
That's not a Pomeranian, it's a Yorkie.
I love...
men.
Oh!
- Am I the only one around here...
- Ahhh!
Uh, excuse me...go to therapy.
Beautiful rug.
Is that Nickson playing holy,
dude what the fuck is this movie?
His outfit is (clicks tongue).
I think Bunny kidnapped herself.
Interesting.
Oh, my God.
The nail.
(laughing)
Oh, my God, the Gipsy Kings!
I've seen them live, with my mom.
Uhhh.
Steve Buschmi doesn't have that many lines in this movie,
but he's always there.
Incredible.
- ...pull the fucking trigger and it goes click.
- This man is from like the Ukraine and was cast as a
Spanish dude.
I wish I loved anything as much as he loves rugs.
(The Man in Me by Bob Dylan)
whoa, I'm tripping out.
I'm gonna...barf.
I'm drinking so much milk.
(groaning)
Mm, mm, mm,
hmm, interesting.
What is that fucking phone?
He's ready for war.
Best friend I've ever had.
My friends suck.
Yeah, risky, but yeah.
I love
how much they say shut the fuck up to each other.
And now I won't get my thousand dollar blowjob.
Zen.
He's Buddha.
Oof, terrible plan.
Ah, ah, ah, ah,
this is a disaster.
- What the hell!?
(screaming)
- John Goodman is a moron!
Can I have a refill?
Okay so let me get this straight.
They threw a bag of underwear,
and then they...
that's it?
This movie should be called,
My Priorities Are
Fucked Up.
He's...not Jewish.
Oh yeah, they're millionaires now.
I'm gonna sit just like that, too.
One of his balls needs to come out of
the side of those shorts.
(burping) Ugh, I have heartburn.
This is like some satanical shit.
He's wearing clear...
Goddam jellies.
Like I wore in seventh grade.
They make your feet sweat and smell like cheese.
Oh, that's his daughter.
He loves his drinkies.
(ice clinking)
Why is she British,
and her father is not.
I have a zit on my ass right now, I get it.
This movie ends with a testicle coming out
of the side of his shorts.
Protecting his cocktail!
Like nothing spilled.
(burping)
There's cum on your face.
Well you're a fucking idiot.
It's Bunny's clit.
Now that's a big clit.
He's right.
(laughing)
A joint fell out of his pocket.
Smoking the tiniest, most pathetic roach.
It's a ferret.
(screaming)
I don't like this.
Like, I want someone to throw a ferret into my tub.
That'd be pleasure.
For me.
- What's that smell!
- They pooped in it.
- Well, you should have shut the fuck up about it.
- Sometimes you eat the bear and...
- Much obliged.
- What?
Bar?
I want some like,
homosexual...
gay stuff to happen.
I get why he likes these though, they're milky.
Mmmm.
(sighing) It's like Devo for stupids.
(laughing)
(Lookin' Out My Back Door by Credence Clearwater Revival)
Oh, no!
(laughing)
Oh.
It's so cute that they're going to In-and-Out.
Walter looks so good in a suit!
(lauging) Laddie!
Too many questions.
Why is your father in the living room?
No! (crashing)
(laughing)
I can't.
Oh...(groaning)
what.
The fuck is this? (laughing)
I am so emotional.
Mmmmmm,
we paused the film because I was eating my
In-and-Out burger,
but now we're back.
(burping) Oops.
(ice clinking) Oh, that sound of ice cubes.
Interesting.
That's a lot of couches.
Oh, that trick.
It's a man with a penis.
I mean, it's a woman with a penis.
The Dude definitely has diarrhea.
(Just Dropped In by Kenny Rodgers)
I miss Walter.
(ice clinking) ♪Just dropped in ♪
Ah, I spilled all over.
It's like Grease...
That is beautiful.
Oh, cause they're gonna cut his dick off.
Oh, this is corruption.
- Do I make myself clear?
- No.
- You don't like my fucking music get your own fucking cab.
- Totally.
All the toes are there.
- Love me.
- Yeah, love her! Love her!
His nipples is so tiny.
Looks like a pebble.
She needs to let a fart out.
What she doing with her legs.
(blowing raspberry)
Who wrote this movie?
They're a genius.
How did we get here?
Exactly.
He's still wearing those same pants?
Please, wash 'em.
Your pants smell like balls.
Interesting.
Get him to walk, get him to walk, walk!
Oh, my God, ew.
(laughing)
- I'll fuck you in the ass
- Jesus, where you from?
I don't get it.
- Please, The Big Lebowski gave me an empty briefcase
- I'm going to explode.
Ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew.
They shot at Donny!
Oh, he had a heart attack.
Please tell me he didn't die.
He died!
Did he die? He died.
Oh, they put in a coffee place, great.
When my aunt died, we tried to buy her a cheap coffin,
and they were like, no, she's better than that,
she deserves a nicer coffin, and we were like, actually,
she doesn't.
My god, you were the narrator all along!
I drank three White Russians during this movie,
I'm full of milk.
- Would you ever order a White Russian in a bar?
- No.
My favorite part of the movie, was the White Russians.
I drank three of them.
I love it.
I'm gonna have diarrhea.
- What was your least favorite part of the movie?
- That I had White Russians and I'm gonna have diarrhea.