-We did work together down the hall earlier this year.
Because when I hosted "SNL," you came back to play the President,
which is something you do. -But isn't it weird how
when you're in and out of this building for many years,
it's like a blur.
You walk down the hall, and you're like,
"Was that Belushi, Tom Brokaw, you, Carson?"
It's like one big ocean of people that we've seen.
-And now you -- I guess the first time
you were in the building was probably hosting?
I mean, I guess you'd maybe been here for other things.
-I did a soap opera here. -You did a soap opera here?
-I did a soap opera on the third floor.
I did a soap opera here that --
which when I was on it, I killed it.
It went off the air while I was on the show.
-Wow. -I killed the show.
-But does that mean your character survived
if the show went off the air before they could kill you?
-No, no. I'm saying my acting killed the show.
-Yeah, yeah, no, but then, you know,
if you can get the show canceled before they can
kill off your soap-opera character,
that's a job well done. -Yeah.
What I love about that show --
It's funny you say that. This is true.
I was killed by two people simultaneously
unaware of each other's presence.
-Oh!
-One guy was aiming to shoot me through the window
of an apartment across the alleyway.
And as he was aiming to shoot me -- bing, bong.
There's a knock at my door. A guy I'm expecting.
I open the door. And he shoots me with a pistol.
And the other guy shoots me in the back.
They both shot me at the same time.
And they were independent contractors.
-So, that's an impossible murder to solve.
-I thought it was thrilling. -Yeah.
-It was amazing. Two guys shot me at the same time,
who were completely independent.
-That was obviously an early job.
Were you upset when that happened,
when you found out you'd been killed off your soap-opera show?
-Whenever you're doing a job in this business, when it's over,
you go through that thing like, "Oh, I'll never work again."
So, when the soap opera was over, I was tense.
I thought I'd never get a job again.
But then I went out to L.A. and I did TV.
-And then you hosted "SNL."
When you finished your first time hosting, did you think,
"Oh, I'm going to come back and do this again?"
-No! -Really?
-No. No, no. That was 1990. -Yeah.
-And I didn't do "30 Rock" or any kind of comedy stuff.
When I came on, I went home,
I think I threw up all night in my bathroom.
"They're never going to ask me to come back and do this again."
-But, you know, you --
Obviously, as evidenced by how many times they've had you back,
I think that's always the most exciting kind of host,
is somebody who -- people don't know you did comedy
until you did that, and then it was a revelation.
-But I think -- I say this all the time.
And I'm not saying this to be kind.
But it's like, you know, Tina, Carlock, you, Conan,
people like that, they're funny 'cause they write.
And I don't write.
I mean, I'm just an actor. And I say the lines.
So when I would come on and do the show,
I thought this is the only, you know --
"SNL" was the only time people would give me an opportunity to do that.
And eventually, in 2006, we started doing "30 Rock."
But prior to that, this was the only chance I could get to.
And, plus, I was telling Kevin backstage.
I was saying how, you know,
"SNL" is the only place you could do certain things.
So, like, McKay --
Before Adam McKay became a big, famous movie director,
he'd walk up to me and go, "Okay, at the end of the sketch,
they're going to throw the eggs at you.
You're running for governor.
They're going to throw the eggs at you. You're going turn.
The eggs are going to hit you in the backside.
And the woman is holding up the baby for you to kiss.
Then you grab the baby. And you wipe your ass with the baby."
[ Laughter ]
I remember sitting there going, "Oh, my God."
But then you realize
this is the only place in the world that's going to happen.
It says "Governor Wheeler wipes his ass with the baby."
-Yeah. And now that's not even a big deal in politics. Yeah.
I want to -- I --
You know, I would like to say that I wrote this sketch,
but the reality is David Mamet wrote this sketch,
and I just adapted it.
But this -- Every year at Christmas, this ends up --
This is "Glengarry Glen Christmas."
And you sort of revisited --
-And you wrote it. -I did write it.
But, again, it was really just David Mamet.
-Do you miss that?
On this show, how much writing do you get to do on this show?
-Not as much. -Not as much. Do you miss that?
-I miss how thrilling it was
when something went the way you wanted it to go,
which doesn't happen that often.
-Did you write the Roger Stone? Did you write the Roger Stone?
-I didn't write that joke, but that was a great joke.
And it's also great to say them.
I do like saying the jokes my writers write me.
That was a -- You know, especially at the table --
-Now you know how I feel. -Yeah.
-I just say the jokes. -Yeah, but you're a good actor.
And I'm just a man at a desk.
-That's why I waited five years.
-That's why you waited five years.
-But when you wrote this --
People have asked me to do this kind of thing before.
They've asked me to do some Glengarry riff
on this scene kind of thing.
And I would never do it. Never.
And you gave this -- I was like, "God damn, it really is funny."
-Yeah. -So we did it. It was funny.
-I have one --
I have one prop from "SNL" that I kept that's in my office.
It's not actually in this picture.
It's a giant gumdrop from that sketch.
-Yes. -Yeah.
-And when they said, "Do you want this?"
I said, "Yes." And I brought it home.
And my wife said, "Take it to the office."
-I have one prop -- I have many other things.
But I have one prop from my desk when I did "30 Rock."
Which is I have a GE --
It said like, "Global Business Leader."
It was glass little globe of the Earth.
It just said, "GE Global Business Leader."
And that's on my desk, too. Now, is this a gift to me?
Are you giving this to me? -You can take it if you want.
[ Applause ]