ring the bells that still will ring
[Music]
forget your perfect offering there is a
crack in everything that's how the light
gets in I've been thinking a lot this
year about empathy and particularly what
differentiates authentic empathy from a
more superficial show perhaps more than
any other text it is these lyrics from
Leonard Cohen song anthem that have
helped me to find my way or at least
have set me on a path I believe that
true empathy only comes when we first
make ourselves vulnerable when we
acknowledge the breaks in us only then
can we understand and share experiences
emotions and yes breaks and others true
empathy takes courage and true empathy
thrives when it is challenged the power
lies in the spaces the cracks and the
breaks that we encounter every day of
our lives when we take the time to
recognize and celebrate these small
fissures we find ourselves and forge our
most resonant connections to those
around us when I was a child the common
rhyme stepped on a crack break your
mother's back caused me no end of
anguish for one thing that was a lot of
power and responsibility to hold in my
gait for another once I began to look it
was overwhelming how many cracks existed
in the world and the sidewalk in the
concrete in the bricks that lined our
driveway before I could take a step I
had to look down and carefully
choreographed my way across a crack
stream
escape determine not to be the one who
caused irreparable harm I literally had
to look before I did any leaping
thankfully it didn't take too long for
me to realize that that particular
prophecy is somewhat oversold however
this did lead me to notice the breaks
and things the spaces in between things
and the power of the pause take a moment
settle into your seats become aware of
the ground beneath your feet allow your
hands to rest in your lap or on your
knees if you're comfortable closing your
eyes go ahead mine will remain open or
you can take a soft gaze begin to take
your awareness inward notice the way the
lungs expand as you inhale and the way
that they deflate as you exhale feel the
breath as it moves down the throats as
it fills the lungs and ribs as it moves
into the belly notice the natural rhythm
and flow of your breath inhale pause
exhale pause
I like to think about that pause by
taking time to slow down and breathe
we're already giving ourselves the gift
of stillness but in that pause lies a
moment of true stillness before we flow
into the next part of our breath imagine
the multitude of possibilities contained
in that single pause tiny inevitable
barely recognized a moment that occurs a
million times a day a space between what
is past and what is yet to come
you're welcome to open your eyes if
they're still closed as I grew up I
think the lis grew out of the need to
avoid stepping on sidewalk cracks but
that didn't end my awareness of the
in-between
when I was in college I fell in love
with poetry I attended workshops
attended readings I read poetry out loud
seated under various beautiful trees
around the grounds I was in love with
the way that poets could string their
words together like delicate beads or
hurl them like lightning bolts but most
of all I was fascinated by line-breaks a
tiny infant Osmel pause in which the eye
moves from the end of one line of poetry
to the beginning of the next a slice of
white space around the words a brief
suspension of language into stillness
here too is a pause for breath and also
a pause that allows one to reflect on
what has just happened and on what is
about to happen here's an example from
William Carlos Williams to a poor old
woman munching a plum on the street a
paper bag of them in her hand they taste
good to her they taste good to her they
taste good to her
or from poet Richard Seiken what a sweet
lady sing lady sing
of course she wakes the dragon love
always wakes the dragon and suddenly
that requires you to be absolutely
silent and absolutely present to listen
and recognize what is happening between
the lines to let their stories and
emotions sit without judgment and is
this not in the end the most significant
gift we can give to anyone to allow them
a space where they can let their cracks
show to give them room to breathe and
then to celebrate the light that comes
through those cracks and the courage
that it takes to let that light shine we
spend so much time concealing the parts
of us that we see it as broken we spend
so much time putting on a facade of
perfection
we fear to be vulnerable or what is more
frightening than to show someone your
true face warts and all but it is these
breaks that make us human
it is these flaws that in turn allow us
to hold space acceptance and
understanding for those around us true
empathy then authentic empathy comes
from this path to active connection if
we have never fallen down and had to
pull ourselves up how can we ever
understand someone else's struggle to
rise and if we never allow ourselves to
show the parts of us that we think are
broken how can we ever find someone who
will love us for who we are or indeed
how can we love ourselves
in the cracks then there is light in the
brokenness there is promise in the pause
there is infinite possibility thank you
[Applause]