Being a rude with the waitress.
I know that!
Do you want to be in charge of the whole date? - I don't want to.
Keeping quiet is a red flag. I want him to talk.
Hey guys it's Cathy Cat on Ask Japanese.
Today we are gonna talk about love and ask Japanese people about love
on the streets of Tokyo. If you are new to our channel, don't forget to subscribe
And our topic this time is gonna be...
What you should do and should NOT do, when you date a Japanese
and when you are on date with a Japanese person.
Take notes guys. Let's go and ask Japanese.
What shall never happen on a date?
Someone who is really cold towards the shop assistants.
That's a total blower.
People around us will judge us too.
I won't enjoy a date like that.
If he is nice to you, but the opposite to the staff?
That will make me dislike him.
Will make me wonder if that cold attitude is his real face.
I look how my date treats shop assistants around him and also how he eats.
What do you look at?
The way he eats, the way he holds his chopsticks.
I check that out.
I also don't like it if he will compliment other women on the date.
I don't want him to look at other girls, I want to be the focus of his attention on the date.
Fair point. I get that.
Using harsh language with shop assistants.
I don't want him to treat anyone differently.
When having a meal...
I don't like seeing other people being rude to the waiters.
Having a person like that as partner, wouldn't you hate that too.
At least I don't want him to raise his voice.
Being rude with the waitress.
Ah yes!
Yeah I hate that too.
I am totally the same.
When you get a food different to what you ordered being really rude like
"I didn't friggin order this."
Men with a really bad attitude towards people who work in customer service.
I can't deal with that.
I also hate it when they throw the money at the staff.
- There are people like that? - Yes there are.
Men who act differently depending if the waiter is a man or a woman.
- There are men like that? - Yes there are!
Nice to the lady and cold to the men? No what? The other way?
Being really harsh with the waitress, but once the waiter appears, sweating it and leaving.
If you have an argument during a date, him leaving half way through the date.
Or being so angry that he won't talk for the rest of the day.
That's a don't!
Men who make girls buy stuff for them on their date.
I believe that that's a man's duty.
So I believe that on a date, men should not get the girls to buy their stuff.
Men who just look at their mobile phone during a date.
"What are you here for then?! Go home!"
Is this date with me that boring for you? In that case I'll go home too.
Just staring at the phone is a big DON'T.
Just staring at the phone when we are eating too.
That sounds boring.
I will get bored by that too.
She is a bit scary, can you see? I am totally hierarchy wise under her.
I don't want to say any date DON'TS or I will get the stick for it later.
What should men not do during a date then?
I don't think they should check out other girls during a date.
I would get angry at that too.
Deciding everything about the date yourself, without asking the other person about their opinion.
I think that's a DON'T
Do you want to decide everything about the date yourself? - Not at all.
I want to talk it though with her.
- Being late is in-acceptable. - Shoot, I was late when we met.
Why do you hate it when people are late?
I came here on time. So it really vexes me when others are not there.
- Who was late today? - I confess I was late.
I am sorry. I am so very sorry.
We have an apology video here now. - It's okay.
How kind of you. But you won't forgive men for being late?
I take more time getting ready, so why are they late then?
What is a date DO?
Little signs of affection. Opening doors and such.
Makes me feel like I am getting treated kindly.
Saying "Can I carry your luggage?" He doesn't have to carry it, but just asking for it is nice.
"Can I carry your luggage?" "Really? Please do."
Being a gentleman. - He should always be a gentleman.
A gentleman. Ah! He is already carrying her luggage right there.
Even though it's a cute backpack with MyMelody he is carrying for you.
How kind. What a gentleman.
What I want her to do? Dress nicely. She always looks nice and cute when we go on a date.
Yeah if a girl came with no makeup to a date, that would repel a guy.
Makes you feel like she made herself look pretty for you. - Yes exactly.
I want to hold hands and walk together. Simple.
How nice.
I want her to take me to a fancy place.
- A fancy cafe? - Girls know more fashionable places.
What do you want him to do for you during a date?
I want him to take me for a drive.
I want him to drive me to his favorite place.
I want him to decide the whole date plan for himself and just take me around.
What will you do on a date like that? - Just follow his lead.
I want to leave it all to him. The food too.
- "I will follow you!" - Yeah someone who will just take me places.
I want him to take the lead too.
I just want to follow him, so he should make all decisions.
Just meet in the morning, and have the rest being a surprise.
All being a surprise. I also like being spontaneous.
So just spontaneously deciding to go some place.
I want him to plan the whole date and escort me around.
What type of escort?
I want him to decide where we will go.
It's a waste of time if we just can't decide where to go on a date.
I would prefer if he had already decided where we will go on that day.
- The boy has to decide everything? - Yes he can make all decisions.
- The date will be a mystery to you. - I will leave it totally to him.
What do you want him to do? - I hate silence.
I want him to talk. That's all.
I want him to pick up on my feelings during the date.
There are some people who ask questions all the time.
I'd prefer it if he picked up on how I feel, and did the things for me without asking.
That would be super cool.
If he won't notice me, I would feel sad.
If he is late for meeting up, he should at least message beforehand.
He doesn't have to spend too much money on the date.
We don't need very great food or something. I want to enjoy the little nothings with him.
I want him to hold my hand. - That's so cute.
Those were our questions. Thank you.
Dates DOES and DON'TS. The general things:
Don't check your phone (all the time) don't check out other people (all the time).
The general things you expect like don't be late...
There is one thing I find interesting that many people said...
don't be weird or rude to waiters. In Japan there is a very big customer service culture.
The customer is literally king "sama", "Okyakusama".
They use a very high syllable afterwards...
to explain that the customer is higher over them.
Some people abuse that by being rude to waiters or taking the "I am higher" attitude.
I don't know why. I have seen it with a couple of people here.
And that was number one turn off for most of the people we interviewed.
Don't act bossy, weird or rude or horrible to other waiters
because that might be the true personality that you are.
It might show a little bit about you that you should not be showing.
That was interesting, that seems to be an issue. If that's mentioned so much,
it seems to be a problem with people.
I am glad they mentioned that. I learned something.
DOES to do on a date, is watch out. Japanese people sometimes
it's almost like mind reading, but not as difficult as mind reading.
It's thinking of the other person. Don't just do your thing.
Look at them, how are they feeling. Are they hot? Cold? Hungry?
Do they need anything? Can I help them with anything?
Those thoughts help making the date easier.
Carry her bag, get her a drink, those little kind of things are really appreciated
Without having to say it.
That's an interesting point there.
The girls want the guy to have the whole day organized and they just tag along.
That again, I have not so much seen in the west.
Maybe it's different for you. What are your does and don'ts for a date in your country?
Maybe we can all learn a little bit from each other.
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It was lovely seeing you. I wish you a lovely day and I catch you soon
for more videos here on Ask Japanese. Bye!