hey success insider it's Tim back again and in today's video we're gonna talk
about how to overcome social anxiety and how to become more confident so how to
get rid of shyness this is definitely one of you know my core topics that I
cover with my coaching clients because this is something that impacted me
greatly because the truth is confidence is not just impacting your dating it
impacts your whole life right if you're not confident in yourself you're
gonna lack your capabilities in regards to making money in regards to you know
becoming fitter because you may be so shy can't get yourself to the gym like I
was and yeah you would be very bad with women as well so the key is to really
really master the skill so I'm gonna be basically mentioning the five things
I personally did in order to come out of my shell as a lot of you know seven years
ago when I began my journey I was a nervous wreck because I truly believe I
was born as an introvert I was shy ever since I can remember the earliest memory
I was just shy which is really quiet guy and I remember my first school I
attended my mom left me there to basic you up with students before we got sent
to class and I just started crying straightaway because I just had a really
really bad social anxiety before everybody was judging me and about six
seven eight years on I couldn't really walk to the street I couldn't get myself
to do shopping on my own because I always thought cars were judging me so I
couldn't go out in the street and when I was in the supermarket or when I was in
shopping centers I thought everybody's judging me and I remember trying to buy
stuff at the counter and I just it was just sweating and you get that nervous
tremble and everything either I was so shy so you know I managed to overcome it
you know here I am creating a video like this empowering men to become the best
version of themselves it's because I made the commitment to
myself that I'm willing to try anything to actually live my dream life so it's
doable you know I'm living proof of that
and in this video I will be mentioning the five steps I did in order to get to
where I am today and these are the exact steps that I
use every single day still in order to get to the place I'm aiming to get to
right as it's all about the journey it's all about constantly bettering yourself
I just want to mention though guys that it's important that you take down five
steps right you take down every single point because truth is is like a wheel
if you just go away right if you just skip some of the points you're
gonna end up with half a wheel and that's definitely not gonna roll
that's not gonna work right it's important for you to note down
everything and then implement everything as it contributes towards a bigger
picture and they will actually help you overcome shyness and social anxiety but
I guarantee if you just take down one point you're not gonna get the
long-lasting impact that I really want you to have so the first point is about
diet and lifestyle because the truth is when I was shy when I was an introvert I
was always keeping myself indoors you know I was addicted to gaming and I
would rarely spend time socializing right and I would just you know eat the
food whatever my mum gave me and you can be sure I definitely didn't take any
natural supplements at that time I didn't look after myself and one step
you've got to make is basically to in order to take control of your life right
now is by reinventing your health and your lifestyle if you are not
socializing on a day to day basis is inevitable you're going to feel shy
whenever you're surrounded by people is because it's a new task whatever task
you get given which is new you're always going to fill this level of anxiety and
shyness remember the first time you rode a bike what are you doing the wheelies
down the road as soon as you got given a bike definitely not you as kind of
feeling nervous maybe fell off couple of times is exactly the same with socializing and
then coming up your shell you have to master the repetition and we'll be
talking about that later but it's so important that you do something
differently in order to change your life you have to try something new in order
to get a different outcome you have to do something different as simple as
that so at the moment the lifestyle you're living is basically bringing the
results you're getting so you must reinvent it you must do something
different so if you're at the moment staying indoors and not socializing as
much get yourself to networking parties get yourself to you know whatever
approach some girls in the street do whatever it takes because that's exactly what I
did you know once I made a decision that I'm willing to do what it takes to
become the best version of me I made the commitment and so I did definitely
didn't break that promise so I quit video games because the realization I had in
my mind in regards to video games is that I'm spending so much time leveling
up my character in a video game the you know bettering him why aren't I upgrading
myself why am I upgrading my PC my mobile but I'm not upgrading me I made it all
about me and I started doing things that I really really fit and in turn that got
me at my shell right so it's important for you to change your lifestyle and in
regard to diet diet is so important you literally are what you eat your mind and
body is connected so if you don't feel good inside if you're not happy with the
way you look right change your diet there are so many good and nutritional
channels here on YouTube that you can follow you need to watch what you eat
because you've literally are what you eat and if you're eating the crap that
isn't good for you it does affect your brain so it actually may impact your
social anxiety levels as well and I definitely found out from firsthand the
impact of that you see food is so important in how you feel the day today
and it's amazing because you don't know what good deals are unless you adopt a
healthy lifestyle I've actually got a video outlining the
supplements I take every single day that I highly suggest you check out and yet
basically it's important for you to eat well and also supplement well as well
with natural whole food supplements so the first point that's all about diet
and lifestyle very important point the second point guys is about acceptance
because the truth is this media this messed up world is always telling us
that this condition is bad its put a negative connotation on it so after a while
we basically start believing it's a bad trait and whenever we're faced with
shyness we we kind of frown upon it well oh I hate myself for that hate
myself because I'm socially anxious hate myself because I'm shy but the truth is
in order for you to change and actually come out of your shell you have to first
accept it you can't resist it right you can't resist because that's not how you
change in order to change you must first accept yourself for who you are right
now and come from a level that you actually start loving yourself start
telling yourself and start realizing that you are a miracle you are chosen to
be here remember that 500 million sperm cells and you made it you were chosen
there's a reason why you here and on a day-to-day basis you don't have to
remind your heart to keep on beating you don't have to remind your your cells to
start interacting with each other there are so many things that's
happening on a higher level that we're not even aware of we have to come from
that level of awareness and realize there's actually nothing wrong with us
we are perfect we have to love ourselves for who we really are
first right accept the condition you've got accept it is a beautiful thing there
are always advantages of it remember being socially anxious actually made me
really curious because I was always anxious about making decisions so with
business it actually made me find out some great business ideas there's always
an advantage to a condition remember that there's always an advantage to a
disadvantage and also that being vulnerable right because in our mind
we've got a picture of what confidence is like maybe you think in body language
and maybe you're thinking the way people talk the tonality the pace the loudness
and so forth but being vulnerable is about you being
yourself in front of others and actually girls actually prefer men
who are actually more real instead of fake right people can fake confidence
but if you're not actually confident girls can feel that and people could
feel that you know whenever you come across that person and you know he may
come across as really really cool guy but there's something if he is because
his interior is still his old self his exterior right thing on the outside yeah
he's built up but deep down he's still insecure because he's not implemented
these changes of acceptance of self-love and being vulnerable he's hiding it is
almost like a shell and this is a massive massive mistake so it's about
basically grabbing that mask that mask you have on in front of other people
right but when your home your true self right when you were nobody's there
you're your true self so it's about having that mask you put on in public
and removing it and putting it down whenever you're around people once you
start being vulnerable and once you realize that people would like you more
for being genuine that's when the true self comes out and that's when the true
confidence does seeping through believe me
and there's a great quote I always read just before I jump on a coaching call
with my clients and it says I'd rather be hated for who I am then loved for who
I'm not and I think that's an amazing quote and I always tell myself that to
always speak the truth and always say what's on my heart you know how I feel
so I want you to really start tuning in with how you feel and start speaking
from the truth so second point is about acceptance is about self-love and it's
about being vulnerable the third point guys is called the movie
called our life and this for me was a life changer once I come to this
realization oh my god what it basically means is
everybody is starring in a movie at the moment everyone's got everybody's
running a movie right you're in your own movie and the cameras are all around you
and everybody else are the side actors the side cast right you're the main
character and hold on in my life I'm the main character in my movie
the cameras are all around me and you know you're the side cast you have to
realize everybody's actually focusing on themselves people just think about
themselves so it's about realizing that everybody's self-centered right
everybody's actually thinking about themselves right so it's once you start
putting attention on them whenever you're an interaction so you're talking
to a girl put the actual attention on them be present with her and actually
put the attention on them and that's when you're free to work your magic
that's when you're free to become the real you the confident version of
yourself right it's no longer focusing on you is
focusing on them it's like how whenever you're doing public speaking right if
you've ever tried it the reason why people break down and the reason why
people feel shy is due to the fact that they're putting all the attention on
themselves and thinking oh my god I don't want to screw up when in fact they
need to put all the attention and the light and the cameras to the audience
it's about the audience right and so once you come to that level that you
deliver an amazing TED like speech is once you put the focus on other people
so I want you to try the same I want you to start doing the same I need you to
start basically focusing on other people and no longer about yourself whenever
you're interaction because you have to realize everybody's starring in a movie
called their life right and it's powerful once you come to that
realization that everybody's just thinking about themselves the same in a
dialogue you're having right there the same force is actually being fought by
by another person the person stood next to and once I came to that realization I
realized I wasn't that crazy the fourth point guys is about accountability
whenever you take on a new goal it's important for you to voice and have
somebody that keeps you accountable towards you reaching that mission
towards you reaching that goal because it's once you do that you're more likely
to follow through purely down to the fact that is not just us will be
disappointing is the other person as well and so it's important for you to
find somebody who can keep you accountable towards a goal say you wanna
now upgrade your lifestyle and start interacting with more girls well you
need to find somebody who can keep you accountable towards your numbers and the
way you can do that is by going to my secret group which is our tribe right
this is our Facebook group where people interact with each other they're all
part of the success insider tribe and you can basically say oh this is my goal
guys can somebody keep me accountable you jump on the Skype call with them and
you basically you know you keep each other accountable towards your goals
simple as that that's what I did I told people this is exactly what I wanna do and
yeah I went and did it the last point is of course the most
important right it's repetition and action right as I said earlier whatever
tasks that's new to us we're always gonna feel that level of shyness is
due to the fact that we've not experienced it before it's a new and
novel thing right so it is once you keep on doing it over and over and over it
becomes familiar so I used to be very bad with speaking with girls but after a
while after I kept on doing it day to day
it became like just speaking to I don't know one of my family members it just
became just normal right and that's what you have to realize is just whenever a
skill is new it just feel scary because it is it's right you've never
experienced it before so you have to realize that after a while it just gets
easy it's like riding a bike after you keep on trying trying and trying riding a bike
you know I can do it whilst listening or speaking with somebody on the phone
nowadays so repetition is the mother of success remember that it's so important
to keep on doing whatever you're doing in order to get used to it and the last
point as I always have to highlight at the end of every single one in my videos
I post on success insider is the most important point for success
is action action determines your results your thoughts doesn't right there's no
point just basically just like learning everything I just basically told you and
you think you know that sounds good and you go off and basically go live your
life just the way it was right because nothing would have changed and if
nothing changes the results don't change your life don't change so in order for
you to get lasting change and real results right now you have to take
action you have to take action with what you've learnt and what I've learned from
hanging around with a lot of millionaires billionaires and very
successful people is the key to success and the key to being more successful than
somebody else is speed of an implementation with exactly what you've
learned so I've noticed with very successful people that successful people
implement stuff so fast they take action almost immediately so I've ensured I've
done the same in my life whenever I learn something new or whenever there is
opportunity in front of me I'd pounce on it because I'm like you know what I can
figure out whether or not as a bad decision later once I've actually
figured it out so it's about taking action fast I remember there's a book
which is a great title it's called ready fire aim how amazing is that so it's all
about just pointing shooting and then seeing and then seeing what what what is
it right that's the key and I've noticed that with a lot of successful people so
I've ensured I've implemented that into my life and it's just like whenever
you're hesitating I remember approaching girls I always used to hesitate and it's
just like as soon as you just implement this ready fire aim or you just tell
yourself 3 seconds and you're gonna do it that's when you start getting real
results because action determines your results and if you procrastinate and if
you don't do anything you just go back to yourself that's one guaranteed way
you're not gonna you know live the life of your dreams so I've really
really put a firm statement on my life to always take action fast and that's
why I always like to tell you guys at the end of every single video I like to
remind you to always follow your heart and take action because it's so
important that you really really follow your heart and most importantly you take
action because action determines your results
not your force none of this data for later is about learning boom action so
these are the five points let me just go over them once again first point is
about diet and lifestyle the second point is about self-love acceptance and
being vulnerable third point is about realizing that people are featuring a
movie called their life they're focused on themselves everybody is the fourth
point it's about finding somebody who can keep you accountable the fifth point
is about repetition and take an action fast so that's it these are the exact
points that I did in order to come out my shell and become the real authentic
version of myself right the person I was truly born to be and I promise you if
you take action fast on everything I've just told you you're gonna get
results so that's pretty much it this is slightly longer video but as always give
me some feedback if you found this video helpful please click that like button
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if you've want to join our tribe and become the best you and have people
who'll keep you accountable towards your success make sure to join our group by
going into the description box below as always follow your heart and take action
see you in the next video see ya