Greetings guys, gals, and non-binary pals and welcome back to another video!
I hope that you are well, and I hope that you are fighting because there is a lot to be fighting for.
As usual, there will be a link in the description to the page on my website with a bunch of petitions, donations, emails to send to MPs, etc, etc.
Now in today's video, we're gonna go back to something that I did a while back,
That I have been meaning to check up on for a while, and just haven't.
And that is going over the Transformed Wife's Twitter.
If you don't know, the Transformed Wife is...
She is a conservative Christian woman, who likes to "teach women to be Godly."
And it's terrible, but also very, very amusing.
So, we're gonna have a look at what she's saying.
Um, because it's very hypocritical.
A lot of misogyny. It's very misogynistic.
And so yeah, we're just gonna have a look at it. We're just gonna see what she's been saying.
She tweets a lot.
So everything I'm looking at is literally from the past, like, two weeks.
She tweets like, six times a day.
It's incredible.
And I just wanted to talk about it because there is so much to unpack and talk about here, so that's what we're gonna do.
Now, I agree to a certain extent with this, right?
Like...
You should give your partners liberty and freedom to do what you want.
So like, you can go out. You can do what you want. You're all adults.
Just do what you want.
But it's still common courtesy to let your partner know what you're doing, and where you're going, and when you'll be back.
Because otherwise, you kind of get worried about,,,
Where are they? Are they okay? Is everything alright?
Common courtesy, and like the right thing to do to tell your partner where you're gonna be.
And if they don't tell you, and they just like, disappear and show up out of the blue, and don't tell you where they've been,
You're gonna be upset.
Obviously, you're gonna be upset.
Because you're worried about this person, you don't know where they are, and you're like partners.
You should know where each other are, or at least that they're not gonna be there so you're not, like, worried.
Or at least, personally, I have huge anxiety.
Specifically, major separation anxiety.
So if I don't know where someone is, when they're usually, like, home, I'm gonna be worried.
So it's like, nice to tell them, you know?
But, the other question is, does this work the other way around?
Because I feel like it probably doesn't. I feel like...
She thinks that it is totally fine for husbands to get mad at their wives if they don't tell them where they are.
And like, women are allowed to get in trouble with their husbands for "silly things".
But um...
Surely we shouldn't be treating our wives like children, right?
Because I thought a wife's job is to like, cook and clean.
I thought that was a wife's job?
I thought a wife's job was to "look after her husband", and cook for him, and clean for him, and do everything for him.
THAT'S treating him like a child.
Is it not?
So, surely, if we're continuing on the lines of looking after him and treating him like a child,
We should treat him like a child, in terms of knowing where he is at all times.
No?
Does it only work for some things?
Some things you treat your husband like a child, and for others, he treats you like a child.
I think we should just not treat our partners like children.
I think that that's the solution here, is: Don't treat your partners like children.
Moral of the story: Don't treat your partner like children.
In any way, at all.
Have like, communication, and mutual understanding, and...
Boundaries.
Which brings us to the next one, actually, quite nicely.
This makes me so uncomfortable.
Um, boundaries exist for so many reasons, in so many different circumstances, for so many different things.
They are very, very important. They are very, very important.
If I feel very uncomfortable by something, the other person should respect that and not do it.
A place where that is really important is, like, in the bedroom and things.
There are boundaries that really need to be respected or it can lead to everlasting, like, trauma.
In terms of just like boundaries in how you're treated and what is and isn't okay,
Those are also very important to be respected.
Sometimes, yes, they go too far and shouldn't be there.
Boundaries like, "You're not allowed to talk to anyone else of the opposite gender."
That's not okay.
That is controlling.
That is manipulative.
I agree, that shouldn't be there.
But that shouldn't come from either side.
You have to have the same moral standpoint from both sides.
You can't be like, "Women can't have boundaries because that's manipulating their husbands,"
"But husbands are allowed boundaries because women exist to be manipulated."
That's not okay. We don't do that.
Boundaries are very, very, very important.
Sometimes they're not boundaries, they're manipulative and controlling...
What is the word?
Uh, just like, rules that you set.
There is a difference though.
Boundaries are like...
"When I do this, please don't do this, because it makes me uncomfortable."
Boundaries are like, "When you do this, it hurts me, so please don't do it."
But when it comes to like,
"You aren't allowed to go out without first asking me my explicit permission and telling me who exactly you're going out with."
That's a little bit far.
You can go out with who you want, when you want, where you want. You're an adult. As long as you let the other person know.
You know? There's a difference. There's a difference.
Uh, but boundaries are important.
Boundaries are important
And communication and discussing those are very important.
Okay? Great.
Okay. So.
Women are selfish for dressing immodestly because it makes men feel lust.
But it is not selfish of men to assault women because they felt lust.
That was the woman's fault for not considering the man's emotions.
This is the entire problem.
This is rape culture just like, summed up with a nice little bow
Victim blaming is not okay.
That's not what we're about.
Wear what you want. Do what you want with your body.
It is not my fault that a man sees me as an object.
That is entirely on him.
If he views me like that and he has some "desire" of whatever sort, he can keep that to himself.
He doesn't have to act on that.
He should learn some self-control,
And not take advantage of women because he thinks it's okay.
The more we enforce the idea that what you wear is an excuse for how people treat you,
The more it teaches those people that it is an excuse to do it.
If we stopped victim blaming, if we stopped saying "dressing immodestly means you will get assaulted",
Then people will stop using that as an excuse.
Because, obviously, people get assaulted no matter what they're wearing.
Obviously, that happens, it literally has nothing to do with it.
I genuinely think a large reason why people dressing immodestly are targeted is purely because that gives the perpetrator something to blame.
If you're dressed "provocatively" or "immodestly" it means people are more likely to get away with assaulting you.
It has nothing to do with how attracted to you they are.
It has nothing to do with the way you're dressing makes them feel a particular way.
The way you're dressing makes them see an opportunity.
It doesn't affect their, like, "turned-on-ness" in any other way.
They're out there looking for someone to assault.
They're gonna assault someone who is dressed immodestly because they know that it's easier to get away with.
And we keep inforcing that idea over, and over, and over.
It starts all the way at the school, when you're not allowed to go to school, when you're 5-years-old, showing your shoulders.
It goes to se- Being sent home from school because you're "distracting boys" because you can see your collarbones or your knees.
It is enforced from such a young age to blame women for how they're dressing.
And all that does is teach men that how women dress is an excuse to take advantage of them.
If we stop teaching that, it'll stop happening.
Men feel that desire when they see us looking like that because they're told that that's normal and okay.
We have the power to change that.
We used to all walk around naked, right? At some point in time.
There are still, like, tribes and areas in the world where women are shirtless, where people are mostly naked.
And assault doesn't happen BECAUSE of that.
The way they view each other is very normal, it's not body-based.
The- We have made it abnormal to see skin.
We decided that was provocative.
We decided that was sexual.
That is not a thing that is inherently sexual.
That is taught to us.
We taught that. We learnt that.
We can unlearn it.
You're just continuing this awful fucking cycle of victim-blaming and enforcing this awful idea-
Anyway. I could talk about that forever.
I've talked in circles. I've made videos on it before. I- Mhmm...
Anyway.
Stop blaming women for men's actions.
Women aren't being selfish for dressing however they want to dress.
Men are being selfish and awful for taking advantage of women for their own selfish f_cking gains.
For what?
They get like, a rush, for like 3 minutes and she gets traumatised for the rest of her life.
Who's being selfish there?
This is so funny.
This sounds like a you problem, man.
Why did you go to college if you didn't care?
Why would you waste your time?
I would say money, but, like, back when you went to uni it probably wasn't that expensive.
Because, you know, the world has changed a lot, and now we really, really like to exploit people for their money.
Why would you waste all your time and things?
If you didn't like it that much, why didn't you just leave?
Why didn't you drop out?
"Find a better way to find a husband." Why didn't you then?
Why didn't you? Why did you stay? Why did you keep going to classes?
Why did you keep doing any of it? You didn't have to.
You clearly wanted to be there, because otherwise, you would not have been there.
You could have just skipped all your classes if you really didn't care about it that much.
I skipped most of my classes and I enjoyed what I was doing.
It's just cause I'm mentally ill.
But, like, come on.
Just shut up.
Stop lying. Stop.
Don't go to college to meet your husband. That's the stupidest thing I have ever heard.
That's the stupidest thing I have ever heard.
So- So stupid.
So funny. So stupid.
If your entire relationship is based off of sex, it's not a very good relationship.
If your whole marriage depends solely on you being sexually submissive, that doesn't sound like the best marriage.
If that works for you, then fine for you.
But I want my relationship to have a little bit more than that.
I want my relationship to centre more around me and my partner, like, loving each other,
And like, sharing things in common, sharing interests, and like, enjoying being in each others company.
Sex is not my number one priority in a relationship.
It shouldn't really be anyone's number one priority unless that's like...
I mean it could be, if that's what you want, that's fine. You do you.
But for a lot of people, that is not the main priority in a relationship.
Especially you're from like, a "God-honoring" relationship, I didn't think sex would be that important to you.
And like, does that mean before marriage, like before you were married, when you weren't having sex, are you implying that you weren't faithful?
You can't be faithful until you're married?
That seems very strange. That seems very strange.
I don't know why sex is such a big deal.
To you. I understand sex is like a big deal, but I don't understand why it's such a big deal, you know? I don't know.
Now, I don't know if this is true. I didn't really care enough to check, if I'm being completely honest.
Let's just assume it's true.
I wanna know how many of those marriages are happy.
How many of those marriages are happy marriages?
Do they still like, genuinely love each other and wanna spend time with each other?
Or do they constantly make "I hate my wife" jokes?
"I hate my husband." "I hate my wife." "My wife always nags me."
They just stay together because they feel like they have to.
They just stay together because they're "God-honoring" and they don't see any other option.
And they stay together because that's what you do when you're married.
You don't leave. You don't give up. Even if it's an absolutely sh_t terrible relationship.
Because I feel like a lot of those are probably like that.
A lot of people stay unhappily married for a really, really long time.
Obviously, not all of them.
I do know people who save sex till marriage and have been together for many, many years and are still happy.
It does happen. I'm not saying it doesn't.
But there is also a phenomenally large amount of people who are unhappy in their marriages,
And stay purely because they feel like they have to stay because they're married and that's what you do.
I think it's much better to get divorced and then go on and be happy again,
Then to stay with someone and be miserable.
Relationships don't have to last forever in order for them to be successful.
They can be really really important for the time that they exist,
And then sometimes there's just a time where they should end.
And they just feel like they should end, and that's an important part of your life and your journey.
And it helps you get to where you feel like you need to be and they can help you grow as a person.
But just because they end doesn't mean they weren't worth it.
Splitting up, getting divorced, it's not the end of the world.
It's, like, totally fine.
Obviously, it hurts and it's awful,
But like, there are worse things.
And I think staying in a loveless marriage where you aren't happy is so much worse than leaving and trying to find yourself again.
This is the whitest thing I have ever read
This is the most privileged thing I have ever seen
You are cle- This is the reason.
Like, you're proving the points, man.
You are so privileged that you refuse to acknowledge that anyone else struggles in any way.
You see any person talking about any struggle and you're like "Jesus."
That's not how anything works.
If that's how it worked, if God or whatever could save everyone from being in pain,
Then surely Christians who are living in poverty would no longer live in poverty.
Surely all these people who believe in God and follow the Bible, wouldn't be struggling to the degree that they are.
All the people of colour who are Christian, who are discriminated against, surely they wouldn't be discriminated against if all it took was loving Jesus.
You are-
Living in the majority in your country. You are not oppressed in any way.
Stop acting like you understand what oppression is. You don't care about anyone other than yourself.
Your whole thing is "promoting selflessness, women should be selfless", and you are so selfish.
Okay. I have gone on many, many tangents here. This has made me very angry.
I'm gonna go try to cool down.
Um, I need to take a breather. So I'm gonna go do that.
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I hope that you enjoy the rest of your day.
Stay safe. Keep fighting. I love you.
*Monsters and Fairies by Savannah is playing*