- Hey everybody.
It's Wednesday and that means that I'm on my website
and I'm on YouTube answering your questions
for you right now.
So, I have five questions today and, as always,
I have a journal topic at the end,
and it's kind of a funny one, so stay tuned for that.
Okay, question number one, and maybe I should
take notes and tell you where they come from,
but I don't think it really matters.
So, the first question comes from YouTube,
and this person asks, "Does a therapist take notes?
If so, is it within my rights to ask to see what they say?"
I'd say 99.9 percent of the time, we're taking some
sort of notes, especially if we have to bill insurance.
When I worked at the eating disorder clinic,
as well as the hospital, we had to take a lot of
ridiculous notes, because we have to
plead our case to get things covered.
So that can be, a lot of times we'll have you
fill out a lot of information when you first come,
and a lot of that goes into this file,
which also keeps track of medical stuff
and what we're working on and what your plan is
and what your diagnoses are and all that stuff.
But on the outpatient basis, I just keep track
of what we're working on and what I've asked you to do.
Pretty simple, like let's say I was seeing myself.
I know that couldn't happen, but let's say
I'm reading my therapist notes, it would say,
Katie appeared in good spirit, talked about working a lot
and feeling tired, working for her to create
more personal time, or something like that.
That would be kind of what my notes are.
But yes, it's totally within your rights to ask to read it.
I actually tell my clients when they first come it,
I'll say, "You know, I take notes during session,
and you'll see me jot things down.
If you ever want to see what I'm writing,
just ask me and I'll show you."
You can always get copies of your records.
So, that's definitely something that you can ask for.
Question number two, how do I get out and meet new people,
or just like minded people, even if I really don't want to.
The best thing we can do is either, A, bring our best
friend and make her sign us up for something
that we want to do, but we get nervous to do
and stuff like that.
Or, 2, join a club, and then you have events you go to,
so you don't feel awkward going to something,
because everybody's going there and not everybody
knows someone.
Something that really helped me meet people in college
and stuff was joining my sorority and joining
the intermural soccer team.
So you can do some stuff like that,
or joining the choir, I sang in choir there, too,
and that helped me meet a couple,
Lauren, one of my best friends, it helped me meet her.
So there's a lot of different things like that.
So I would just encourage you to reach out through
groups and organizations, even if you join the Key Club
or the community service club or something,
and you just go to the soup kitchen every Saturday morning
or whatever, that can help you meet people.
And once you've signed up sometimes, I find myself,
if I've signed up and paid for something,
let's say it's $10, I'm really apt to go.
So set up some things that make you feel
almost like you have to go so you can't really back out.
Like that's why having a friend come can really help too,
'cause they hold us accountable.
Okay, number three, why might my therapist have asked
to read an old suicide note I wrote,
and should I let her read it?
It depends on what you're working one with her.
I can tell you, in my opinion, if I had a client
who tried to commit suicide before,
and I knew that from taking their history
and asking them about it, and they said
they had this old suicide note that they kept
to kind of remind them of that bad time,
I might ask to read it just to see where you were
at that time.
Honestly, on a therapeutic side,
it shows me what to look out for.
Like, oh, if I see that you're starting
to ruminate about that certain thing
that was in your suicide note, or I could tell
that your mind is getting in a similar place
that it was at that time, those will give me
some little tips and some little red flags that go up
so that I know that I should probably increase
our sessions or we should create another plan,
another suicide plan.
Yeah, things like that.
And I would let her read it.
I mean, therapy is about being honest and
showing them all our cards so that they can
give us the best help that they can,
and we can get the help we deserve,
'cause if we're not sharing all the information,
then I always feel like we're limiting our therapist
in some way.
Like, when my therapist asks me, what's really going on?
I don't sugar coat things.
I'm like, "I was really pissed off 'cause
that person was a bitch to me, and blah, blah, blah."
And you're just honest, because that's the one space
of our whole world that we deal with all day long,
where we can just be us, raw and uncut.
Whatever we want to say, right.
I would definitely share it.
Okay, number 4, any tips on how to stay
in the dining hall for more than 10 minutes.
I seriously think that 10 minutes is my record thus far.
And a person had responded,
this is on my website,
a person had responded to this and gave some great advice,
and she brings her best friend with her,
because when you have someone with you,
they hold you accountable, kind of, and you don't
want to leave them by themselves,
so you're more apt to stay and kind of
endure the anxiety, and I know this particular person
who asked this question has a lot of social anxiety,
but I do believe that you've told me before
that you do have some friends within your dorm,
and I would just make sure that you go at a similar time
with someone that you feel comfortable around.
I know that it's still really hard,
and it can be overwhelming because there's a lot of people,
but we have to start somewhere.
So, either going at the same time that a friend
or someone in class is going, I would do that
and just chit-chat along, like class was boring today,
wasn't it, blah, blah, blah, as you kind of
walk in the dining hall and sit down,
so that you don't feel like, oh, I'm nervous
to sit next to them, what if they don't want me
to sit next to them, or oh, they're looking at me
and they're watching how I eat or whatever.
It will definitely help ease that.
And I would just start slowly increasing the
amount of time.
So, okay, ten minutes is the max,
let's go for eleven minutes, then maybe twelve,
then maybe fifteen.
I don't know, let's go crazy.
But we have to slowly increase it.
And do or bring things that can help calm you down.
Like, if journaling helps calm you down,
or if getting on your phone and hopping online
helps calm you down, you can do that.
Anything, so that when it starts to feel
like your anxiety is aaa, then you can do those things
and they can help bring us back town.
And if any of you have any tips, please,
as always, leave your comments below and let me know.
And number five, the last question, I thought
this was really interesting, and it's a great question.
I figured a lot of other people may have had it.
It says, "In your I Miss me ED video,
you talk about eating disorders serving a purpose.
I don't have an eating disorder, but I do have depression.
I've been feeling a little worse lately
after feeling slightly better, and my therapist
thought that I missed my depression.
She asked me what purpose I thought
my negative thoughts served, and I couldn't
come up with anything.
So, I wonder, does your I Miss My ED video
apply to depression, too?"
It definitely can, but it's just a little different,
because depression, I guess it's almost the same.
Sorry, I'm having trouble explaining this in a clear way,
and I thought about this before I started filming.
And my thoughts are, everything in our life
serves a purpose, and depression can be an outlet
for all of the bad feelings that we've been having,
or horrible things that have happened to us,
or horrible things people have said,
and we've internalized it, and so we feel
down all the time, and that can cause our depression
and our negative thoughts, and it sounds really silly,
but just like your eating disorder and our self-harm voice,
those negative thoughts, honestly, they don't become
our friend, because they're not nice, but we're so
used to hearing them that when we don't hear them,
oftentimes we'll feel sad, or we'll feel
like something's missing or just off.
And it's almost like that chatter that filled our head
isn't there anymore, and we haven't filled it
with positive thoughts, and so that's why
I think that talking back will really help.
So if you can actually do task one of
my eating disorder workbook, even though this is
for depression, and to the talking back to
those negative voices, so we fill your head
with more positive talk, I think that you may
feel a little bit better.
And it may also figure out what it applies,
what purpose it was serving.
Was it because you didn't want to have to think
about that certain thing that happened?
Is it because you don't want to think positively
because things never have been turning out right for you.
What is it?
I would take the time to journal about it,
and I would talk to your therapist more,
'cause I think she's definitely on the right track.
And last but not least, my journal topic.
And this was actually cute.
I was driving home today, and on someone's license plate
it said be gentle, and obviously, it was all
scrunched and almost like your texting it.
So not fully written out.
But I thought to myself, be gentle.
That's actually nice.
It makes me feel like, (sigh) I can be gentle
with myself today, and I wanted to ask you,
how can you be gentle with yourself today.
And by being gentle, I mean how can we have a little
self care?
Maybe today I'm not going to go work out,
because I'm actually kind of tired.
And maybe I am gonna go make plans with
that girlfriend of mine that I haven't seen in a while,
because I feel better when I see her.
Or maybe I'm gonna wear really cozy clothes
and I'm gonna lay down and watch some reruns of television.
If you're me, you'd watch reruns of Sex in the City
while you wear your paunchy t-shirts that are
really loose, when is what I'm doing right now.
I have pajama bottoms on already. That's right.
'Cause I'm gonna mellow out, I'm gonna make myself
a cup of tea and I'm gonna relax.
So, think of a way, I want you all, do one thing today
to be gentle to yourself, whether that is,
I'm gonna go get that pumpkin spice latte,
'cause it's back at Starbucks, and I'm gonna treat myself
or I'm gonna go get a massage or I'm gonna do my nails,
or I'm gonna do whatever, take a bath.
I'm gonna give myself 10 minutes of free time today,
even though I'm studying, I'm gonna take a little break
and I'm gonna play a video game or I'm gonna read
or whatever.
Do one thing to be gentle to yourself today
and let me know what it was.
Okay?
Have a wonderful day.
Tomorrow is Thursday, so I'll be on Twitter,
so ask your questions with the hashtag KatieFAQ,
and I'll see you all then.
Take care, bye-bye.