Allison: Gaby, can you pull your shorts down so your butts not touching the couch?
Gaby: What does it matter? A: 'Cause you have poop all over your butt
G: I wipe my butt! A: Yea, but there's poop everywhere anyway
so I'd rather just minimize the amount of poop on the couch.
G: I'm sorry, there's poop everywhere? A: A harsh reality of the world that we
live in is that everything is covered in poop.
G: There's poop in the air. A: Probably.
G: There's poop on the ground. A: 100% poop on the ground. You can't take
a goddamned step outside without stepping in poop.
[Groovy Intro Music]
A: This week, our question could be international; It could be local. It could
be from- G: Mars.
A: -inside this apartment. G: Oh. I went big with it.
A: Who knows? Because Francesca didn't list where she's from.
Is that even your real name? G: Are you a ghost?
A: Who are you, Francesca? G: Who are you?
A: Where did you come from? G: Where did you go?
A: Cat or dog? We can cut right after this because the answer is obviously dog.
G: What? You think that you're a dog person?
A: A 100% dog person. G: Dog's are messy, dogs are playful, dogs
are loud, dogs, like, run and track mud in the house.
A: Yes, but when you have a dog looking at you, you know what they're thinking. I
like that. G: When you have a cat looking at you, you
know what they're thinking- A: Not at all! A cat lies with its eyes.
This is the worst thing I could possibly say on the internet, but I don't like
cats. G: But you ARE a cat.
A: What? G: Yeah, in personality you're a cat.
A: I'm a puppy dog! G: No. Puppy dogs are playful and loose.
A: Are you kidding me? I'm so much fun at appropriate hours of the day.
What about me is a cat? Nothing. I'm clean G: Particular, finicky.
A: That's certain terriers.
I'm a dog! You're a stupid cat. G: Yeah, we're both cats.
A: No, because we're opposite so we can't both be the same species.
G: yeah, we're both cats. You're like a fluffy, Persian, fancy cat, and I'm like a
weird, scrappy, like orange cat. A: You're a feral cat.
G: Yeah, I'm a feral cat and you're an indoor cat who lives with a rich lady.
What kind of dog are you? A fuckin poodle? A: No! I'm a- I'm like a.. I'm a golden
retriever. I'm your every dog. G: That is the biggest lie I've ever heard
in my life! You are like a bichon frise- A: I'm an adorable golden retriever.
G: -with like a pink bow on its head. A: Of all the things that you could say to
me that would offend me to my core, calling me a cat is one of them.
G: Cats are not dumb. Dogs are dumb. Cats are highly intelligent.
A: Are you kidding? Dogs save peoples lives! Cats watch people die.
G: Name one time a dog's saved someone's life.
A: Lassie. Every episode. Seven seasons. G: Fine.
A: See, you're a cat because you're withholding with your love- your TRUE love
You just give fake love. G: And then I go like this to you.
A: Don't touch me. You're covered in poop.
[Groovy Outro Music]
G: And cat hair- A: Cat hair is just covered in poop even
more! Because it collects the poop. It's so gross and I can't even believe that
anybody lives with it and it's disgusting. G: So cat hair's made of poop.
A: Everything is made of poop. G: Okay.
[More Groovy Outro Music]
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