hey guys welcome back thanks for joining me for another video if you are new to
my channel my name is Stephanie I am a life and relationship coach if you
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notification family so this week I want to dive into the fear of failure and I
think this is a great topic because we all have fears and the fear of failure
is such a huge huge fear that a lot of people have now we can look at fear as a
weakness which is what a lot of people will do they'll look at the failures
that they've experienced in their life or the disappointments as I should have
done better I should have known better I should have tried harder I shouldn't
have done what I did to cause this to happen right all of these things and
they get so down on themselves or some people have a fear of failure because
that fear of failure is actually tied in to the fear of the unknown so if I need
to know what's gonna happen in my life if I don't trust life if I don't trust
myself that I'm capable of creating the life that I really want I'm gonna have a
fear of the unknown and if I have a fear of the unknown when I say this is what I
want in my life I want to start my own business I want a healthy relationship
if I experience a letdown in one of those areas then it could perhaps
debilitate me from taking action to move forward to keep going on the things that
I want in my life so the reason why the fear of failure
debilitates people is because they have looked they've been programmed to look
at failure it's something that it's not of course the moments when we experience
a failure or not a failure a disappointment right when we experience
a letdown it's hard in that moment to say there's positive there's a positive
side to this something good is gonna come of this of course not we had an
expectation that this was gonna be the thing that I needed to do in order for
my business to really succeed and grow this is this was the relationship that I
was supposed to have for the rest of my life it wasn't supposed to we weren't
supposed to break up we weren't supposed to get divorced he wasn't supposed to
leave me I wasn't supposed to cheat on him whatever right
we had an expectation on this situation and this experience and how it was
supposed to go and when that doesn't happen it can debilitate us to not move
forward in any area of our life we can say oK we've tried five times at trying
to get a business loan or I've been working at this this for so long I mean
trying so hard at this job and I'm still not getting the promotion that I want I
still haven't gotten the pay raise that I need or I've you know been married
twice and it didn't work out I've had three relationships and been engaged you
know four times whatever it is right instead of looking at each experience as
feedback so fail all failure is is feedback it's God's Way the universe's
way sources way life's way whatever you want to say
it's life's way of showing you hey instead of doing this you need to do
this now what happens when we experience the same failures over and over again
it's because we're not learning the lessons that we needed to learn either
in the first relationship or perhaps we did learn that lesson in that
relationship or that experience right and now we're on to a different
experience that's going to teach us a different lesson so everything is
helping you to become the person that you need to be to have the things that
you say you want to have but you get to choose how you experience each of these
failures let downs disappointments right you get to choose on whether or not you
let it debilitate you on whether or not you let it make you bitter and angry or
to just be so down on yourself like everything was your fault like you can't
make right decisions like you're no good like you're not good enough like it's
not gonna happen for you you can let all of that stuff take over and debilitate
you from moving forward to have faith to keep pulling through to have the
motivation to get up every single day and still grind and grind and grind at
something and not see any return yet so like I said your fears of failure really
have to do with the unknown so when you don't trust life when you don't trust
yourself when you don't trust that you're capable of creating
whatever it is that you want your life and that you're deserving of it when you
have those beliefs you have to be relentless on what it is that you want
so anyone that has been successful you've read this articles about Michael
Jordan how he got cut from his high school basketball team you've heard the
stories of the woman that created Harry Potter that she got rejected by like I
don't know 20 publishers or whatever it was and she kept going and going while
Disney I mean any successful person I'm sure a lot of people that are in
wonderful relationships I'm sure a lot of those people have also gone through
painful relationships painful breakups letdowns heartache disappointment right
but they kept going and going and going they kept believing because they were
relentless on what it is that they wanted and I think that that's a
powerful thing to have you have to be relentless you have to want and I say
this all the time you have to want what you want in life so badly that it allows
you to have the motivation that you're gonna need to have every single day your
drive to want this thing in your life you have to know that you deserve it you
have to know that you will have it someday that no matter how much it takes
how long it takes whatever it takes that it's going to happen that it's not even
an option that it's not gonna happen you have to live life like that every single
day in order to push through all of the fears and all of the doubts and when
disappointment happens how do you pick yourself back up you have to want it bad
enough and when the people when you know when people let these failures take over
or when they just don't have a confidence within themselves it is a
constant battle every single day for anyone to say okay I'm gonna get out of
bed and I'm gonna do what I need to do right and I think I mean Eric Thomas is
a great motivational speaker and he talks about this all the time he talks
about you're 24 you have 24 hours in the day and what do you do in that day to
help you to get you to where you need to be and not getting so wrapped up in the
big picture right the big goal of I want a relationship of the
successful business and I want to make three million dollars a year or whatever
it is that you want right but taking it into those small steps and the small
steps is the day-to-day stuff it's you getting up and being productive it's you
getting up and working on yourself working on your mental toughness getting
in your head not letting those fears and doubts debilitate you that's the grind
that's the hustle that's the stuff that you have to do every single day that'll
keep you going and keep that faith going right keep the momentum going within
yourself to keep at it and keep relentless on what it is that you want
and when you come from that space there's no question that what you want
won't happen because it's not an option that it won't happen but when you get
fixated on when is it gonna happen why you know how is it gonna look I'm
getting impatient and when I start to get impatient that's when I really don't
believe and I start to have doubt and then I listen to that doubt and I feed
that doubt and then the doubt becomes your reality right nothing ends up
manifesting nothing ends up coming into your life because you let the fear and
the doubt take over another huge aspect towards people that have that fear of
failure is what are people gonna think right like what are people gonna think
if I keep failing and failing and then people voice their opinions on you know
maybe you're being too picky in relationships or I just don't think this
business is gonna work out for you and you might want to get a different job or
you might want to stop focusing your time on here and get something get a job
that's more stable right that will give you that 9 to 5 and give you that
security in that paycheck right so we don't realize that people's projections
and their own wounds and their insecurities and all the stuff that
they're carrying around with them that that's what they're spewing out to us
and we take that on and we put it in our pocket and that becomes our story now
rather than keep going and not listening to what other people have to say that it
doesn't matter when anyone else thinks quite frankly that you know what you
want that you know what's gonna happen for you and you're gonna go blindly into
life and keep going and going until you reach that goal that's it now if you
want to push through the failure there are three things that you
must focus on every single day number one is practice building yourself up so
when I talk about learning how to love yourself and all of that this is what
I'm talking about I'm talking about having self-awareness you have to be
aware as to when that negative conversation is happening you have to be
aware as to when that fear is starting to take over and you have to be able to
look down and see that conversation that's going on inside of you oh here
comes fear here comes the insecurity here comes my wounded ego that's trying
to keep me stuck you have to be aware of when that voice is trying to take over
in your mind building yourself up also includes visualization and this is huge
I don't care what I don't care what you do I don't give it's vision boards I
don't care if it's making a list of who you want to attract and how you want to
feel there's a ton of different tools that I do with my clients every single
day to practice visualization but basically what this means is you need to
wake up every single day and you need to live life as if what you want is already
in existence it's already happened it's already done you need to feel the way
that you're going to feel as if you have this in your life right now so if you
want a great relationship you should be walking around every single day being so
thankful and grateful for the partner that you already have in your life you
need to practice what its gonna feel like and what your life's gonna look
like with this person in it you need to practice having the car that you want
you know driving around and I did this for years that I would just drive around
living as if I was driving the vehicle that I wanted the neighborhood that I
live in now I would drive around this neighborhood all the time before I lived
here and I would just look at the houses and visualize this is my neighborhood
I'm so happy that this is my street that this is my
sidewalk that's so cute and cozy and quaint and friendly neighbors and a lot
of kids for my son to play with I thought about all of that stuff and I
did it constantly when I was driving around town instead of you know going
straight home I take the long way and go through the neighborhood that I really
want to to live in you have to already feel as
if this stuff is in existence that will not only help you to keep pushing you
forward but it puts your mindset into being grateful for what you already have
right because it's this is a done deal I already have it and I'm starting to feel
grateful and thankful because it's already in my life
that's such a powerful place to be in in terms of manifesting what you want in
your life and it totally changes your mood instead of living in lack right
that I'm actually not driving into the driveway that I want or the house that I
want to be in or I'm not really in the car instead of focusing your mind on the
lack you're focusing your mind on the fact that it's already done it's already
in existence and you're already living as if it's it's there in your life right
now when you come from that space then it's not a question that it's not going
to happen for you as long as you're doing the stuff those little steps
everything that you're doing in that 24 right that you need to do to get you to
where you want to be the next thing towards really pushing yourself past
fear is when you ask yourself what's the worst that could happen
sometimes we build these like extreme situations or circumstances that would
happen if we took a chance right so if I took a chance and I went on a blind date
if I took a chance and I did online dating if I took a chance and just
started trying to talk to more people when I was out being social whether
that's in a restaurant or a bar or a dog park at the gym whatever right if I took
a chance and invested a little bit of money if I took a chance and worked at
something that I want to do so if I want to start my own business and I have to
have a nine-to-five when I get home after I put my son to bed
maybe I work until 1:00 in the morning and I really work at this business and I
keep going I keep going even though I'm not seeing anything return and nothing's
happening right now I don't care I know that what I'm doing is going to allow my
business to grow and to succeed and it's going to happen someday right so what's
the worst that could happen if I stay up a little late what's the worst that
could happen if I just invest a little bit of money into something what's the
worst that could happen if I just try something that I've always wanted to try
right when we get so fixated on the outline
how things are gonna happen when is it gonna happen is it gonna look like this
am I gonna be guaranteed success if I take this chance instead of trusting
that even if I take this chance and nothing comes of it it's gonna lead me
into the direction that I know I need to go to get me to where I need to be
that's trusting life and so many people want to just be able to take the first
chance and then boom they're successful or take the first chance at like meeting
someone on a date and boom that's the relationship and that's the great
marriage that I always wanted instead of coming from the place of like if this
isn't the guy if this isn't the girl that that's okay then I'm gonna enjoy
the experience that I'm in right now and I'm gonna meet her I'm gonna meet him
it's just a question of when and I trust life that it's gonna happen for me and
in the in the midst of me waiting I'm gonna enjoy my life being single right
so it's all about mindset it's all about what are you telling yourself every
single day and this is when we're using logic and rational thinking versus
getting overly emotional in our ego and our fears and our stresses and listening
to that voice and getting entangled in it right so you get to choose every
single day what voice you want to listen to the last thing is small goals you
know when you want something in your life no matter what it is a car a job a
house a relationship whatever right it's about the small steps that you take
every single day and it sucks because sometimes we don't realize that it's
those small things that you're doing every single day that are adding up to
be the goal that you're trying to achieve it's like we just want I want
the goal right now and we just want to rush through life so fast to get to
where we need to be or where we want to be instead of realizing that you know
it's not the Gernot the destination it's the journey like that type of thing but
it's true it's the small things that you're gonna do every single day that
are gonna get you to where you need to be and if you don't ever change your
habits if you don't ever incorporate new things
and new chances into your day right take a chance on something do
something differently stretch yourself a little bit if you don't ever do that
stuff nothing's gonna happen you're gonna realize I should have taken that
chance I should have done something differently why didn't I try that
instead of just what's the worst that could happen right just take a chance
and stop focusing every single day on the fears and the voice that ego that
wants to keep you stuck it doesn't want you to succeed so everyday working on
that mental toughness working on that inner dialogue and it's a practice that
you have to do every single day so I hope that this has helped you guys out
there I hope it was motivational I hope that you got some great tips I hope that
it inspired you in some way to get out there and stretch yourself a little
further then you would have had prior to watching this so if you enjoyed this
video don't forget to give it a thumbs up if you have any suggestions on topics
or things that you would like me to cover don't forget to comment down below
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video that has a giveaway attached to it so thank you guys so much I'll see you
next week