- Did you ever feel, like when you were being bullied
that you wanted to take your own life?
- Yeah.
- Sorry.
- [Woman] Yeah.
(soft music)
- Virginia and I met in middle school.
Our relationship was basically,
she was someone that I picked on.
I was a bully to Virginia.
- So, my first encounter with bullying, I guess with her,
probably was around fifth grade.
- I think I said nasty things about how much she weighed.
- The kids I went to school with
in elementary and middle school,
we all lived in the same neighborhood.
So, I wouldn't come outside most of the time,
because most of the kids that kind of were mean to me
lived in my neighborhood.
I can't say that I really had any friends back then.
- I was a bit underweight.
I had glasses.
I went through seven years of orthodontic work.
I was picked on for that and so I would project it
onto her for being overweight.
- I guess the main question would just be, why now?
- As selfish as it sounds, I don't wanna feel guilty
for something that my childhood self was doing.
(door opening)
- Hi. - Hi.
(footsteps)
- How are you? - I'm good, how are you?
- I'm good.
You look good.
- Thank you.
So do you.
(they laugh)
- What do you remember about me from grade school?
- You always were so bubbly, I remember that.
I don't know.
What do you remember about me?
- I remember more of what I said about you and I don't--
- I know a lot of the, I guess, the words,
the harsh words were more about my appearance.
- I remember I was picking on you about your weight.
- Nobody noticed the shift, but my grandmother
passed away when I was in middle school
and she used to take medicine for cancer
and it made her gain a lot of weight
because she wasn't really worried about how big she was.
I kind of stopped worrying about how big I got.
People just kept bothering me and I think
the major question was just, why me?
I felt like I was always very nice to you
and very nice to everybody else
so it just, it bothered me 'cause it was just like
what did I ever do to you all for me
to even be subjected to that?
- I was underweight and I was takin' medicine
to be a healthy weight and so I was projectin' that on you
and I don't think that I even had any problem
with the way you looked or your weight at all.
- Why didn't you stop?
- I was being bullied and so I knew it was wrong, you know?
I didn't want that done to me but yet, I turn around
and was doing it to other people.
- I had no idea you were being bullied, either.
- It's funny you thought that I was very bubbly and friendly
'cause I was wearing this like,
I wear it better now and more honest about my feelings
but I was definitely wearing a facade.
- Right.
- I'd go home, cry about it, come back and be all like,
ne ne ne ne ne ne ne.
- [Virginia] Mm hm.
- And then I'd pick on people that I felt like
weren't gonna pick back with me.
- Right.
It's not you, I mean it wasn't just you
so I'm not gonna sit here and give you all of that.
- Did you ever feel, like when you were being bullied
that you wanted to take your own life?
- Yeah.
- Sorry.
- Yeah.
It was definitely a thought.
This is probably the first time I've ever said it out loud.
Well, probably the second time I've ever said it
out loud but, yeah.
I can't say that I hadn't thought about it.
It's such a sad thing to think about.
Wait, you said you thought about this too?
- Yes.
Just short answer, yes.
- I was insecure for a long time about my weight,
about my appearance, about the way I dress.
It took a long time for me to kind of like me.
- The more I'm listening to you, the more I feel like, yeah.
We had a lot in common.
- It'd take a lot for me to really hate you.
I didn't feel like I hated you then.
I don't feel like I hate you now.
And it took a long time for me to say,
even though I haven't said it to you,
that I forgive you as for that.
It was a lot to deal with-- - I'm sorry.
- It's okay.
It was a lot to deal with and I just wanted
to move on from it.
I've never actually had something like that
happen to me before.
- I definitely did not expect for Virginia and I
to have so much in common.
- It felt good, just to kinda close
a sorta chapter in my life that was pretty sucky.
I know, it's okay!
- Even if you didn't let me, I was gonna hug you.
- Oh my God, no.
- Yes.
Yes.
- You're like, I was gonna hug you anyway,
'cause I don't care.
(soft violin music)