so I got invited to this women's writers
group congratulations thank you yeah
it's all women and you have to have at
least one book published by a reputable
publisher not like self-publishing and
it's invite-only and I was just saying
last week that I don't know many women
in my field anyway the way the group
works is they have these monthly
meetings and different members hosted
every month and rotation so I would host
it one month and then someone else would
host it another month but my place is
very small and so I'm not sure that I
actually could host it and I know it's
New York and you know everybody lives in
these shitty apartments I don't mean
show you my apartment is not shitty it's
actually very well-maintained I'm very
cute and nicely decorated if I do say so
myself but it just it is small it's just
a little studio it's nice to be asked it
really is a lot of people start novels
and not a lot finish them and it's
really validating you labor alone for
years working nights while everyone else
is off getting drunk and getting laid
and you're just there reworking every
word just to have a junior editor cut a
third of your book to make it suitable
for publication which you're happy to
hear you know that's what everyone wants
to hear even if they're sort of killing
your vision that's okay and you know
having Tim post reviews it and calls you
promising and Here I am a year later
trekking through the snow going to some
godforsaken place in Queens - a woman's
meeting bring in a six-pack or some
cheap wine into someone's tiny apartment
with all of these women that are
pretending to do something important
while we eat bad pizza and I drink too
much because that's what I do when I get
nervous and people are gonna ask me all
these questions that are gonna make me
feel uncomfortable and bad about myself
like what are you working on what are
you writing what's it about to have an
agent can I need him like I don't need
to be reminded about the work that I'm
not doing I don't need people
remind me that I'm not writing right now
and that's the problem with these
so-called professional groups if you're
doing the work you don't need to join a
group like am I gonna run into Toni
Morrison they're probably not you know
cuz she's busy writing like if I'm
having it some chips and guac JK rowling
know when she's not gonna be there and
they say come we're all part of this
together
and it's a sense of community but really
what it is is just a group of desperate
women who wrote a book like ten years
ago about the tumultuous history of some
rich white southern family no thank you
I don't see how that's gonna be helpful
it's just gonna make me feel depressed
or honest maybe it'll make me feel
better about myself in comparison
because at least I did something at
least I wrote a book and I got it
published which they did you went that's
why they're there so I take that back
I never feel like I fit in and I just go
immediately back to high school where I
am the uncool fat kid standing in a
corner talking to a plant you know I I
don't know what to say I don't know how
to work the room and it just
pisses me off about why we're all
supposed to feel like we have to join
clubs like what suddenly now I'm a woman
novelist because they let me into their
club thank you for giving me permission
like it wasn't enough when I wrote and
published my book like now I get to call
myself a woman novelist I am a woman
novelist but also so much more I don't
care about the label I don't know you
know between the women thing and the
group thing I don't think I should join
I think you should join okay totally
you