Please welcome Mary Lou Piland
So there I was sitting in my driveway in my car sobbing when I saw my uncle
Dominic march across the lawn. He tapped on my window, lifted his shirt, pointed to
his gun and said "If you bring shame to me or my family,
I will shoot you and I will shoot Anthony." Rewind to the first time I ever
saw Anthony. I was at Sacred Heart High School in the foyer trying to convince
my teacher Ms. Joe to give me a few extra days on an assignment and I felt
this sudden gust of wind hit the back of my legs and I turned around and my eyes
locked on the most gorgeous boy I had ever seen. Barely able to speak I turned
back around and said "Ms. Joe, who is that?" She said "That's Anthony." And I
looked at her and said "I am gonna marry Anthony someday." So I set to work. I
convinced Ms. Joe to give me a non-existent filing job in the guidance
office and I randomly came across his files. In an hour I had memorized his
class schedule, locker, location, and locker combination. And often I would go
and meet him because I knew his schedule as he was coming out of English class
and say "Hey are you going to the dance Friday night? and he would look at me
like "Who are you?" or he'd be coming out of the caf and I say "Football games
Saturday?" and the poor guy never knew what hit him. So we started to see each other
and pass each other in the hallways and I started to get a little bold I went
down to his locker one day and took his Egyptian musk oil and put it on my wrist
so I could smell him throughout the day.
Another time I went down and stole, um borrowed, his yellow cardigan and as I
was walking down the hall he stopped me and he said "Hey that's a nice sweater. I
have one just like that." And I was like "I know." So I decided to bring my sister
Nancy to meet him at the dance on Friday night and I introduced them and she
agreed, she's like "He is really really cute but why are you gonna fall in love
with him? You can't bring him home, he's black and dad would kill you." And in
my heart I knew she was right but part of me hoped that she was wrong.
So we danced and flirted for two years and then Anthony told me he was going
into the air force and he was gone for six years. And we kept in touch.
My grandmother would hide my letters that would come from him because somehow
she knew that something wasn't really right. So when he came home we started
going out and we'd always have to go to movie theaters that were three towns
away or restaurants that were four towns away because I didn't want anyone to
tell my dad then I was out with somebody who was black. So as we grew closer he
decided that he wanted to meet my Italian family because that's all I did
was talk about them, so I was like "If you meet them you're gonna be stuck with me
for the rest of your life" and he said "It's the 90s, people aren't like
that anymore." And I'm like "My family is like that.
"They're crazy off the boat Italian sausage-stuffing wine-making Catholic
Italian family." So he's like "No I really want to meet them." So it took me about a
week and a half but I thought of a good plan: I'm gonna take him to my dad's car
wash because I knew he'd never killed me in front of a customer.
So I went as we're driving to the carwash I remember, first my
heart was like in my throat then it was in my shoes and it was back in my throat
and I'm thinking "Oh Nancy is right, Nancy's right, what am I doing?" We get to
the carwash. Anthony gets out of the car and I introduced them
they shake hands they start making small talk and I step back and I say "For once
Nancy was wrong." Now to know my sister Nancy she's my older sister and she's
the best listener in the world. She listens to everything my parents say. My
dad loves to tell the story of how when my mother was pregnant with Nancy he
would put his hand on my mom's belly and just say "Move" and Nancy would jump
and that's what I was up against. So after they met and they made small talk
I was so excited to go home that night because I thought "This is it, the secret
is out, they're gonna love him, we can go to Sunday dinners together" and I went
home and no one would talk to me and it was like December in April. It was so
cold that I could see my breath in my house. So the next day I came downstairs
and my dad was waiting for me at the kitchen table. It was serious. He said "Was
that your boyfriend?" I couldn't even say anything. He's like
"Sit down we need to talk." And I remember thinking where's the nearest exit cuz
I'm gonna have to make a run for it. So before I could even sit down he said
"You know how we feel. It's him or us." And I looked at him and I said "I love him. I
will be out of your house by the end of the day." So I went upstairs and I started
packing up my things and I hear Nancy stomping up the stairs. She's mad. She
walks into my room, grabs my perfume tray full of glass perfume bottles, and she's
holding it and she says to me "You're really gonna do this? You're
gonna break up this family?" and I said "I love him."
She took my perfume bottles and she threw them up against the wall and all
the glass shattered. Sobbing on the floor, I'm picking up all these pieces of
perfume bottles and I hear my aunt Evelina and my grandmother walk in the
room. So I look up and I held my hand up to my aunt thinking she would lean over
and help me up and she leaned over and she smacked me
so hard across the face and she said "You are selfish and immature and you are not
gonna do this to my sister." and my Nana Maria started pulling her off of me
and she was pushing her out the door and my Nana turned around and she said "Maria
Louisa, ascolta il tuo cuore." Listen to your heart. And then she said
"Tutto nella vita è un mistero." Everything in life is a trade-off. So there I am sitting in my
car sobbing and after my uncle threatens to shoot us both, he says "And whatever
you do don't have kids." So I decided to move in with my girlfriend Teresa whose
husband was a cop because I thought that was a good move.
And people kept visiting me like somebody died. Everybody was coming
trying to convince me to go back, trying to tell me this was a mistake it was a
fad it was gonna pass but they didn't realize I stalked this man for six years.
I am not going back without him. By the third day my mom was so desperate
she gave Teresa a bottle of holy water from Lourdes in France like a little
Virgin Mary bottle to pour in my coffee because she thought that I was possessed.
So what my parents didn't know though was that Anthony is a really stand-up
kind of guy and he knew that I would never make it on my own by myself
because I came from such a huge family and he didn't want to live together so
he's like "You know, what I think we should get married."
So we went to Vermont and we got married in two weeks later my dad called and he
said "Listen I'm stubborn you're stubborn we need to work something out cuz we
need to have our family back." And he said "I want to meet you" and I said "Alright." I
said "I'll meet you on Saturday" and he said "All right but before then please
don't do anything stupid." I said "Dad we got married." And I heard click dial tone.
And I said that was my only chance that was it like what am I gonna do I've lost
my family forever, but Anthony had faith throughout this whole thing. He was the
one that kept saying "For Thanksgiving we are gonna be at your uncle's table."
And I said "I don't think that's gonna happen."
So sister called me about a month later she said "You have to come home. We miss you"
and I said to Anthony "Do you want to go?" and he said "Of course I want to go. I
said "I don't. It's a setup. It's an ambush."
And so we went and we were ambushed with food, lasagna, meatballs, pasta, I think my
mom cooked everything every meal I missed for all those months was on the
table. So after dinner my dad said "You know I really would love to talk to you."
and I said "Let's talk." he said "He's a great guy. He's nice I really like him."
and I said "Yeah I know. He's like "But the Italian community's not and except this.
It's not gonna work." And I was like "Dad they're not gonna accept him if you
don't accept him. It has to start with you. You have to make the change." And I
think for once he got it and it like something clicked and I think now they
like him more than they like me. And later that night I was sitting on my
grandmother's bed and she was braiding my hair like she did before I went to
school every day and she said to me "You know my mother fell in love with a boy
who wasn't Catholic and her father said no way and she listened to her father
and she loved him her whole life and always thought where he was and if he
had a family or even if he thought of her and on her deathbed at 93 years old
she was calling for him and she said I wish he was here just to warm my feet
cuz I'm cold." So she said to me "I'm so happy that you
ascolta il tuo cuore" she said "cuz you always have to listen to your
heart" and this will be our 24th Thanksgiving at my uncle's table
yeah
With our three boys Anthony, Michael Anthony, Mark Anthony. And something that
was supposed to tear our family apart has just brought more love into our
family and I know that my uncle and my father would lay down their life for my
kids.
Mary Lou Piland