- [Amanda] Hey, friends, welcome back to another video.
Is your brain often working on overdrive,
and you're overthinking more than you'd like to admit?
But what if you're not overthinking,
and it's self-gaslighting instead?
Let's take a look at the differences between the two.
Overthinking versus self-gaslighting.
Overthinking is where your mind gets cluttered
with repetitive thoughts,
and playing out some situations over and over in your head.
Thinking about what could have gone differently,
second guessing your decisions,
or imagining worse case scenarios about the future.
It can be a hard to break habit that can leave you exhausted
and even more anxious than before.
Self-gaslighting also deals with unwanted,
hard to control thoughts, but it's more complex,
more ingrained, and holds a strong emotional importance.
When you are self-gaslighting,
you are internalizing emotional abuse,
and manipulation tactics
that you've probably experienced before.
When someone is gaslighting you,
they're trying to skew your reality,
and make you question it, making it seem like you're crazy,
and that things are not how you see them.
If you are hearing this often, you may slowly adapt to it,
and might start self-gaslighting or manipulating yourself.
Let's explore a few situations
in which the line between overthinking and gaslighting
might not be so clear.
Number one, intimate relationships.
Let's say you have a fight with your partner.
Some hurtful things were said,
and they stormed out of the door
before you had a chance to talk it through.
Now you're alone in bed, trying to sleep,
but your thoughts keep you awake.
Are you overthinking?
You might be wondering, was I too offensive?
Maybe I should have said that.
They're probably telling their friends about the fight now.
I think they should be on my side.
I was right, but was I, was it worth it?
I don't even know anymore.
Or are you self-gaslighting?
I'm so sensitive, crazy, and emotional.
Of course I was wrong,
they would never try to hurt me intentionally.
I'm overreacting once again.
I know they love me too much.
They didn't mean it like that.
It's all my fault anyway.
I better send a text apologizing.
This should really be a lesson for me.
Number two, social interactions.
It's your first day of class,
or you're starting in a new workplace.
You're meeting your new colleagues.
You chit chat, and joke around a bit.
After the day is finally over,
you come home and take a shower,
and that's when the brain starts working.
Are you overthinking?
Oh my God, what did they think of me?
Was I talking too much or too little?
Was that joke I said totally lame?
My hair looked so bad today.
I hope they didn't pay attention to it.
Or are you self-gaslighting?
That went really bad.
I'm not surprised.
I'm just not a likable person.
No wonder nobody liked me in school.
I always say the stupidest things.
I should just keep to myself next time.
Number three, toxic household.
Do you often fight with your parents or siblings?
Maybe you're used to insults, yelling, criticizing,
because you've been living in that environment
for quite some time, but you finally had enough.
You wanna stand up for yourself,
but when you start planning what to say,
you're not so sure if that's such a good idea anymore.
Are you overthinking?
What if I just make it worse?
Am I even capable of confronting them?
What if they don't take me seriously?
What would I even say?
I can't tell them they're toxic,
or are you self-gaslighting?
Maybe I don't have it so bad.
I mean, some people live in far worse conditions than I do.
My parents gave me so much in life.
I would be ungrateful if I stood up to them.
Actually when I think about it, I really am a bad child,
just like they told me so many times.
And number four, trusting your judgment.
Finally, sometimes our gut feelings about others
tell us exactly what we need to hear,
especially if someone is manipulating us,
treating us badly, or using us.
We may notice their bad intentions,
and feel like something's wrong, or at least for a moment.
But after that moment,
our thoughts about the situation may once again
spiral out of control,
and those people gain even more power over us.
Are you overthinking?
Are they really being manipulative?
I feel like they might be using me,
but everyone else thinks they're so nice.
Will other people think I'm not being fair?
Will they accuse me of being a bad person?
Or are you self-gaslighting?
I'm overreacting again, it's all in my head.
They're a good person.
They would never treat anyone badly.
I'm the bad person for assuming stuff about them,
so I should probably do something nice for them.
In short, if you're overthinking,
you may overanalyze every little detail
about everything, and ask yourself a thousand questions.
What could go wrong?
What could have been better?
But if your mind is playing tricks on you,
and you start self-gaslighting,
you will minimize your feelings,
constantly blame yourself, doubt yourself,
be your own worst critic, and question yourself.
You won't need to overthink,
because you'll already have an answer.
You are the problem.
Of course, the first step towards healing
is recognizing there's a problem in the first place.
If you notice your overthinking is really self-gaslighting,
consider talking to a mental health professional,
who may help turn your self-gaslighting into self-love.
Can you relate to any of these scenarios?
Let us know in the comments below.
Please like and share this video with others it might help.
The references and studies, as always,
are listed in the description below.
Until next time, take care.