boys you may have noticed your body
going through changes lately your
muscles are becoming more defined your
voice is becoming deeper maybe hair is
growing in places that it wasn't before
and also that hair is turning gold
blowing and standing upright
perhaps your sword is longer and thicker
than it used to be and girls you may be
noticing changes too perhaps you've
grown out of your old clothes or some
new clothes have grown on you out of
nowhere with lots of frills and bows and
along with them you've gained super
strength than magical weapons or maybe
the clothes are more of a plate armor or
spandex bodysuit type deal and two to
four of your male friends have also
changed in a similar but decidedly less
pink fashion do not be alarmed this is
perfectly normal
the transformation or henshin is a
natural stage of development for every
young American boy and girl and while it
may seem frightening and foreign now
it's an essential part of becoming an
adult indeed as you grow older you may
find that these changes are very helpful
in facing the challenges of adulthood
sometimes helpful in a ridiculously
specific manner you may be asking
yourself what's causing these changes is
it something in my body some outside
influence aliens god the magical talking
animal that started squatting in my room
last week the answer to all of those
questions is yes
maybe transformations can be brought on
by any number of things from good
old-fashioned hard work and training to
discovering some sort of alien power
source to possession by ordeals with
satanic entities your transformation
will almost certainly be unique to you
but there are some commonalities that
you should be aware of transformations
exist on a broad spectrum but they can
be categorized based on what causes them
and how they affect your body and mind
generally speaking transformations can
result from outside natural or
supernatural influences technological
alterations or they can
innately tied to your genetic code or
spirit
they can also be differentiated based on
whether they enhance your current
physiology generate new physical
characteristics or manifest as new
clothing weapons accessories or armor
lastly transformations can affect your
mind in many ways from increasing your
intellect and reflexes to amplify your
aggression to the point that you can't
control your new abilities some can even
take on a mind of their own
forcing you to work with them and rein
them in to protect your friends and
family or they can have no effect
whatsoever or they can just make you
really really good at card games all of
these categories may seem needlessly
complicated but luckily unless you're a
godless scientist they don't actually
matter in practical terms you need only
concern yourself with two basic
questions how strong is your
transformation and can you control it
when it comes to strength not all
transformations are created equal and
yours may vary wildly from those of the
people around you someone you once saw
as a friendly rival and equal in combat
may suddenly attain a state close to
godhood while your best efforts in
training your body and being molested by
local religious leaders only grant you a
minor resistance to stab wounds the sad
truth is that the world just isn't fair
and in some cases you may be tempted to
use alternate means to make up the
difference in power if you or someone
you know is considering going down such
a path you do well to watch and heed the
warnings in our other PSA winners don't
use the power of evil but it can also
help to simply remember that in the end
this imbalance goes both ways and you
almost certainly have an advantage over
your friend in other important life
skills such as studying attracting
members of the opposite sex or having
parents who are still alive it's
probably not wise to rub these
advantages in the face of the newly
ascended deity in your friends circle
but if you remain aware of them they may
at least bring you some peace of
while you are contemplating a Faustian
power bargain or being slaughtered by an
evil cow monster to prove how
threatening they are on the other hand
if you are the one with godlike new
abilities or you've just begun
transforming but you've noticed signs of
hidden potential like a dead mother an
obsession with friendship or a
determination to be the very best like
no one ever was then you have a lot more
to worry about than an inferiority
complex
for starters depending on how strong
your new form is there's a good chance
that you don't have full control of it
perhaps a demon living inside of you
threatens to take over your body
whenever you borrow its strength or you
go berserk losing all sense of reason
and turning into some kind of monster or
demon yourself or maybe you just go
apeshit when someone disses your hairdo
regardless of the cause in this state
you are a danger to yourself and others
and may become an even bigger threat
than whatever enemy you're trying to
stop fortunately this is almost always a
temporary phase brought on by changing
hormones and with a bit of time and
training you can probably get your
violent impulses under control right
around the time that it starts to become
boring and repetitive whenever you go
berserk however if you find insane
berserker rage powers are a persistent
problem for you you can usually combat
them by calming yourself with meditation
deep breathing or a fidget spinner and
if you feel yourself about to transform
it's often possible to pull yourself
back from the edge by thinking about
your grandmother or baseb if none of
these coping techniques work you should
try to avoid combat altogether or if
that's not feasible just try to
transform closer to the friends you
don't particularly care for the rest
will sort itself out assuming you can
get your new powers under control though
don't think that means you can let your
guard down just yet there are still many
risks that come with transforming
unprepared but not the kind of risks you
might expect common sense may tell you
that standing around screaming for
upwards of a minute in the middle of
combat is a bad idea but in practice
almost nobody
attack you in the middle of powering up
it's considered to be bad form like
kicking someone in the balls to win a
fight and any villain who's willing to
stoop that low will probably just kill
you in your sleep or poison you anyway
you should be much more worried about
where you're transforming than who's
around when you do it before you
transform always take a look at your
surroundings not just for your own
safety but as a courtesy to those around
you if your transformation causes your
body to grow in some way you can save
yourself a lot of trouble and back pain
by ensuring that you don't transform
indoors but even if space isn't a
concern situational awareness is vital
if your transformation involves donning
new armor or clothing there's a good
chance that you will be naked for a
solid 20 seconds or more between forms
the glowing light emanating from your
body will typically obscure you from
view but it won't cover everything so
protect your modesty and avoid ending up
on the sex offender registry by finding
some cover before you let it all out
you'll also want to be wary of how your
armor or weapons appear if they fly in
from the sky or materialize around you
they could cause property damage or hit
some unsuspecting passerby in the
process but even if it's just your body
that transforms and you stay your normal
size you should still be wary of
damaging the area and people around you
transformations are often accompanied by
an initial discharge of energy commonly
referred to as pre kamehameha which can
damage your surroundings if you aren't
careful
normally this just results in pebbles
and other debris floating around you
while you transform but in extreme cases
this energy has been known to crack or
break windows and other fragile objects
twenty feet away or more from the
transforming individual and it's not at
all uncommon for the discharge of energy
to a road or even blow holes in the
ground beneath the source which can
result in damage to private property or
to public infrastructure such as roads
as well as the pipes and electrical
cables running beneath
them due to the Supreme Court's landmark
ruling in the case of Tenkaichi Budokai
foundation v sangoku you can be held
liable for any damages incurred as a
result of your transformation so if you
can fly always transform at a minimum of
20 feet from the ground and if not try
your best to only do it in parks
quarries pocket dimensions and
state-funded nondescript Canyon areas
many cities across the nation are also
installing reinforced steel
transformation booths near high schools
and other high-risk areas so keep an eye
out and familiarize yourself with
transformation friendly locations near
you now that you've learned what you
need to know to transform safely it's
time you actually put your
transformation to good use this will
mostly involve punching things a little
harder than you used to but you can also
find creative applications for the
unique traits of your new form for
instance if you can make your hair
triple in length that will by flexing
your muscles try cutting the excess off
and donating it to cancer patients if
your abilities allow you to teleport
weapons or armor from elsewhere in the
world consider storing them with a spare
set of keys so that if you lose yours
you can summon them to you instantly and
if you suddenly grow a new appendage or
magically extend your sword try using it
to scratch those hard-to-reach places if
you use your imagination the
possibilities are endless but do
remember that selling or pawning
magically created disappearing clothing
and weapons is legally defined as fraud
and can be punished with fines or even
jail time and no matter how strong or
creative you get be aware that your new
form won't be able to solve all of your
problems at times you may find that your
current transformation is simply not
enough to deal with the challenges
facing you your present strength agility
or stand powers may not be sufficient to
prevent an evil vampire from killing all
your friends and taking over the world
just as a random example in such moments
it may feel like all hope is lost but
this is not the
at these times it can be possible to
reach new levels of transformation
instantaneously through sheer willpower
determination or possibly just a love of
big boobies scientists have not been
able to find a constant variable in what
causes these new more powerful forms to
emerge but experts agree that you can
help the process along with a bit of
image training what you need to do is
imagine your new more powerful form as
an object something that you can hold on
to
then you need to imagine yourself doing
just that reaching deep inside yourself
grabbing hold of your new form and
pulling until it emerges from your but
nobody knows exactly why but the more it
feels like your new power is being
pulled directly out of your ass the more
likely it will be to turn the tide of
battle once you have achieved this new
form and won the fight you may expect
your life to change dramatically just as
it did with your first transformation
however in most cases you'll just follow
the pattern outlined in this PSA again
with a slightly different hair color or
style so no matter how many times you
transform just remember to do it near
people you don't like and away from
anything that looks expensive and keep
in mind this is all just a normal part
of growing up
this message was paid for and approved
by His Holiness the animais Pope
you
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