One of the things that happened to me quite early in my career
that made me realize what was going on,
I went to some basement with about 100 other bankers,
and there was this semicircle of plastic chairs.
And we all sat there, all men,
and then these two women took out an assortment of marital aids
and just proceeded to have sex with each other
while people were doing coke and people were watching.
And and then they got some people in the front row
and then just started **** them.
There’s something grotesque
about 100 men in suits watching two women going at it hammer and tongs.
And I remember thinking, “OK, this place is a little bit mad.”
I was an investment banker for 12 years between 1996 and 2008.
It's an incredibly secretive world.
No one really seems to understand it.
I thought it was about time someone explained what really happens.
[Informer]
[Ex-Banker]
Investment banking covers a multitude of sins.
In its very simplest form,
it’s about putting together people who want to invest money
and people who want money invested in their companies.
And we’re in the middle, taking a huge slice.
I had been to a decent university.
I could also **** with the best of them,
and that is an important aspect of any job in the City.
The City is a place that rewards ****
probably more than any other career.
I couldn’t believe the amount of money I was earning.
Within about four years, I was earning £120,000
and my bonuses were getting up to £300,000.
And then by the end of it, I was over £600,000.
The money is ridiculous.
I mean, the justifications for the money
have always been things like, “Oh, it’s stressful.”
Well, this wasn’t as stressful as a teacher’s job.
“Oh, it’s dangerous or risky.”
It’s not as risky as being in the Army.
I always felt a little bit guilty about it,
like, “Why the hell are these people spending so much money on me
when all I’m doing is pushing around bits of paper?”
It was a source of continual bafflement.
Cocaine is the perfect drug for bankers
because it is expensive,
it’s glamorous,
it’s something that can make you talk even more **** than you normally do,
it gives your already inflated ego an even bigger puff.
It used to be a core part of my strategy
for getting clients on board.
We both had something on each other;
I could lose him his job, he could lose me my job.
You know, I used to come back from an all-night bender,
go straight into the office and I’d have to go on the mic
in front of 200 people on the trading floor.
One of the very first major presentations I ever did,
I was doing it and suddenly everyone started giggling,
and I was thinking, “What the *** is going on here?”
And suddenly I saw this blood hit onto my white shirt.
I was like, “Oh my God,
I’ve got a massive, coke-related, nostril bleed
all over my crisp white shirt.”
It’s the perfect job for a psychopath.
If you look at what psychopaths are—
and I’m not talking about Hannibal Lecter here,
I’m talking about actual normal everyday psychopaths—
they are manipulative, they are often charming,
they hate jobs that require serious qualifications,
they are people who don’t show remorse or have empathy.
For example, if a company announces that it’s going to lose 1,000 jobs,
you might feel that’s a bit of a shame.
But actually in the City,
we would absolutely celebrate and reward that company
because that company is going to be more efficient
and it’s going to make greater profits.
It’s an industry that rewards psychopaths,
and it’s an industry that psychopaths thrive in.
Insider trading happens all the time
because people in the City aren’t satisfied
just with their six-figure salaries and their six-figure bonuses.
They want to get even more money.
For example, during the financial crisis,
there used to be rumors spread that this company is going bust
or that this bank is about to have to ask the government for some money.
And by doing that, these hedge funds were
exacerbating the financial crisis,
making it worse and worse and worse.
They didn’t give a **** because they were making a buck themselves.
And they never got found out because they could always claim
they’d heard it from someone else first,
so it’s one of those crimes you never get found out for.
The thing is about insider trading is
people think it’s like this victimless crime.
But actually what it means is that a hedge fund, as it usually is,
has bought some shares off Gran’s pension fund
and that Gran’s pension fund has unwittingly sold it to them,
not realizing the share price is about to rocket
when it gets taken over.
So in fact, it’s not a victimless crime.
They’re stealing directly off your granny.
It’s really simple;
you’ve just got a bunch of really clever, greedy,
ruthless people together,
and the rewards are massive
and the risks of getting caught are negligible.
So they’re going to do everything in their power via insider trading,
spreading false rumors, market manipulation, anything.
They'll just game the system to make a fast buck.
And unless they really sort out regulation,
it will always be the case.
I was playing for the team that was
on the side of corporations that were raping this planet.
And I was on the side of corporations
who didn’t give a **** about their workforce,
but just gave a **** about their quarterly earnings figures.
It kind of gets to you, especially if you had the kind of upbringing I had,
which was fairly left-wing, religious,
and I was kind of a hippie as well.
You know, I used to tell young kids about
what a terrible job banking was.
And then when I described it, strippers, thousand pound meals,
cocaine, bonuses of five or six hundred thousand pounds,
they were like, “Tell me how I get this job.”
It has changed.
It’s more about being a serious guy with two maths PhDs.
They are still earning a lot of money, but not as much.
Nowadays, there's limits on how big your bonus can be.
It can only be a maximum of twice your salary,
whereas back in my day you’d get six times your salary
at the drop of a hat.
It’s no longer quite the playground
for druggy lads having a ball anymore.
And thank **** for that, frankly,
because it’s not right, the way we used to behave.
I think on my deathbed, that particular phase in my life,
I will not be very proud of.
I sold my soul to the devil, basically,
but I did get a good price for it.