When a news story falls through the cracks,
Lewis Black catches it for a segment we call Back in Black.
♪ ♪
(cheers and applause)
Everybody hates the American health care system.
It's expensive, it's broken,
and it's the reason I do all my own dental work.
You can't tell, but all my teeth are Tic Tacs.
But on top of being awful,
we're now learning our health care system
is also disgustingly deceptive.
NEWSWOMAN: Tonight, millions of Americans
rush to the emergency room,
then slammed with surprise bills.
NEWSWOMAN 2: Nearly 65% of hospitals across the country
use emergency rooms staffed by outside companies.
It's a loophole
that allows providers to charge patients more
because the ERs are considered out of network.
NEWSWOMAN 3: Liv Cannon, who had insurance
and even verified that her hospital and doctors
were in network before the procedure,
was on the hook for nearly $94,000.
Huh! A surprise bill for $94,000?
For that kind of money, I better come out of surgery
as a goddamn Transformer.
Then I can turn into an ambulance
and take myself to the hospital for free!
(cheering and applause)
And what's all this crap
about doctors being out of network?
If you're not in my network,
then get your finger out of my ass!
(laughter and applause)
And not only are hospitals robbing us blind.
The worst part is
they're making all of these prices up.
NEWSWOMAN: Even if it's not an emergency,
we found there can be surprising swings
in what a given procedure or test can cost.
The cost for an ultrasound of the abdomen in Dallas
ranged from $115
to an estimate of $2,459.
From $100 in the Bay Area to $2,800.
And where the price is set can affect your cost,
whether insured or not.
Anywhere from $100 to $3,000?
Who's setting these prices,
contestants on The Price is Right?
$3,000! $100!
Everybody's right!
Well, guess what?
I can make up numbers, too.
How about I pay one dollar, asshole?
(laughter)
-So... -(cheering and applause)
So, hospitals and insurance companies
want to keep prices a secret.
But, luckily, a surprising hero wants to make a buck,
so they're putting costs out in the open.
Groupon, famous for deals on everything
from skydiving to concert tickets,
is now offering patients discounted medical treatments,
and it could help you avoid the headache
of a surprise medical bill.
NEWSWOMAN: Patients can find $91 mammograms in Atlanta
and $54 heart scans in Oklahoma City.
Chest CT scans can sometimes cost over $1,700
depending where you live.
With a Groupon
at Crown Valley Imaging near L.A.,
you pay a flat rate of 299 bucks.
So that's where we've gotten to.
We have to rely on shitty websites
for our health care.
Boy, that's gonna be fun.
"I think I'm having a heart attack.
"Hold on.
"Let me see if Groupon has a deal.
"Great! I'll get one heart surgery
and a yoga class!"
(laughter)
Now, obviously, Congress should outlaw surprise medical bills,
but, obviously, Congress won't do shit.
That's why I took matters into my own hands
and started the Lewis Black Clinic.
Are you tired of surprise medical bills?
Then come on down to the Lewis Black Clinic.
You won't find any surprise bills with me
because at my clinic, everything costs $100,
no matter what!
Liver transplant, $100!
Open heart surgery, $100!
A candy bar, $100!
And that better be in cash.
You took the wrong hand.
(chuckles): Yes, but we didn't take your savings.
Thanks!
(laughter)
And at my clinic,
you'll never be surprised by a diagnosis
because I'll warn you ahead of time.
Bad news. You've got herpes.
You haven't even looked at the test results.
No, but you just look like a guy with herpes.
(laughter and applause)
So, stop by the Lewis Black Clinic.
The only surprise will be if you leave feeling better.
(cheering and applause)
Trevor!
Lewis Black, everyone.