On this episode of China Uncensored:
If you stare into the void long enough,
the void…
eventually gets a little creeped out.
Hi, welcome to China Uncensored, I’m your host, Chris Chappell.
Since the dawn of time, Man has sought to create.
To invent.
To drive humanity forward.
But I’ll bet when our ancestors created the wheel...
The guy in the next village saw it and created this for half the price.
Yes, bootlegging.
The world’s second-oldest profession.
Wait a minute…
actually let's not think about that too much.
Anyway, you may say bootlegging is shameful and illegal,
but you got to admit,
it can sometimes be hilarious!
So behold!
All of civilization has led to these 10 Chinese toy knockoffs.
Number 10 New Style Ninja Tortoise
This isn't some lame old turtle!
You can tell by its chest.
Besides, turtles live in the water.
A tortoise lives on land.
So this knockoff actually makes more sense than the original.
Seriously, Donatello; why would you need a submarine?
Number 9 Mighty Car
An ordinary person might see Mr. T and the van from the A-Team
But the clever mind of the bootlegger sees so much more.
He sees Mr. T
as the van!
With a machine gun and axe!
No one’s gonna give this guy any jibber jabber!
Number 8 Pokyman
No, not Pokemon. Pokyman.
Get out of here Pikachu.
I choose you,
Rastafarian Pikachu!
Number 7 Batman
If this is not a pipe,
then this is not Superman.
And besides, everyone knows Superman/BATMAN doesn't use guns.
Number 6 Fun Neddy Lovely
My Little Pony may believe that Friendship Is Magic,
but you do not want to know what DEMON DONKEY believes in.
And his requests to TYE ME!!! best go unheeded.
Number 5 Harry Potter Obama Sonic
I'm sorry, did that not make sense?
How about now.
Yeah, still doesn't make sense does it?
Number 4 Mouse and Friends
(crying) Whyyyyyy?!
Number 3 Robert Cop
The future of law enforcement is here!
No one fights crime like...
Robert Cop!
But before you dismiss Robert as a worthless, half-melted knockoff of RoboCop,
let's consider what he has going for him.
Besides stealing the Terminator's tagline.
He's a:
-Futuristic Robert
-Terminator (autobotic)
-exciting movie look
and he's also a toy.
Number 2 The Titanic
Don't let this Titanic toy fool you.
It's more than meets the eye.
This Titanic would probably have been able to avoid the iceberg.
Though I bet all the people would have still died horrible deaths during the transformation.
And Number 1 Sense of Right Alliance
Who needs the Justice League,
when you have the much more communist-sounding Sense of Right Alliance!
It's got all your favorite heroes:
A Power Ranger.
Batman!
Other Batman!
Spiderman.
Shrek!
You know, you really shouldn’t mix universes this way.
Well those are my top 10 favorite Chinese toy knockoffs.
But there were so, so many more to choose from!
What’s your favorite Chinese toy knockoff?
Leave your comment and a link below,
or send me an email with a photo you took to ChinaUncensored@gmail.com.
If there’s enough interest, I’ll do a fan favorites version of Chinese toy knockoffs.
Once again I'm Chris Chappell, see you next time.