- I wonder if as a porn star,
it's more fun to be a character
than just like, regular old lady getting (bleep).
Like, if it's better to be Princess Leia getting (bleep).
- I dunno.
(orchestral music)
- I am a huge Star Wars fan.
I only had like, three VHS' growing up as a kid,
and it was A New Hope,
Empire Strikes Back, and Return of the Jedi.
- My favorite movie scene of all time
is when Han Solo gets frozen.
- I'm a Star Wars fan.
- I certainly don't know the names of any ships,
other than the Millennium Falcon and the X-Wing.
- I consider myself a family-oriented fan,
because my brother and my dad
made me watch it like, every year.
- I see we're already on Incognito Mode.
- Stella Cox Force Awakens,
Triple X Parody, (disgusted noise)
Star Wars Porn Anal.
- Classic interrogation scene from Episode Seven.
- Mind controls the Stormtrooper to drop his gun,
who is played by Daniel Craig.
- Correct lines. - You will put down
your weapon, and remove my restraints.
- She's been unrestrained,
and now she's just withdrawn a breast.
- Ohh! - Ooh!
- You will touch my breast.
She's making him do things. - With mind control!
- Oh, he's taking off his helmet.
- He's a Stormtrooper.
- Daniel Craig kinda look-alike.
- Yeah, a little bit.
- Wow, that is a very big penis.
- Yes. - Woo!
- I think we've lost the fact that she was just a prisoner.
Like, she needs to get outta there.
- It's not fun. - No, I think that's it.
- It took out the fun of Star Wars.
- That's why people go back to Star Wars, is the story.
- Oh, and the whizz-bang effects.
- They've replaced both those things
with the Stormtrooper's penis.
- It was not as subtle and plot-driven as I'd expected.
- Star Wars Parody
With Red Monster Freak Babe Gettin' (bleep).
- A red Twi'lek.
- I'm intrigued, 'cause there seems to be two men.
Oh, maybe this'll be, like, some gay Star Wars porn.
- Oh my God, a dope-ass lightsaber battle, though!
- But I'm invested in this story,
and like, how do they go
from this fight to (bleep) each other?
- Now she just literally murdered Anakin.
- Ohh! - Ohh!
- He used the force to take off her bra.
- Oh, his sleeve just got torn off.
- Oh, she's ripping off his clothes with the force!
- [Man] That's pretty neat.
- This force, man,
it really gets you what you need.
- Ooh! - Ohh!
Has the stiletto on the guy's chest,
and then, bow,
ol' girl just drops on his face.
- And she has just killed his friend.
- They've really come together.
Maybe they will at the end, too.
(both laugh)
- They started with a two-and-a-half minute fight,
with no sex at all,
and it was just like, really cool to watch.
- You felt a little bit more in the world of Star Wars.
- They seemed less interested in the sex, to be honest.
- Porn Wars, Star Wars Amateur Porn.
(bleep) by Darth Vader.
- Oh boy!
- So this is a classic.
- So, we have the traditional scroll.
Oh, is this a German version?
- Ohh!
- This looks like... - Oh, my good--
- Oh, this is a green screen. - Okay, green screen.
- Darth Vader's not wearing any gloves,
and that's Princess Leia, who remember,
is Darth Vader's daughter.
- This one, out of all of them,
has the worst production value.
Like, Princess Leia, you did that hair yourself, girl!
(gleeful screaming and laughing)
- And his (bleep) comes out!
(girl laughing)
No one wears underwear here!
What is going on? - Oh my God.
- I like he has a flap for his (bleep), too.
(girl laughs)
There's like a Darth Vader flap.
- Force blowjob.
He looks like he's deejaying a concert,
'cause he's just going like this.
- And then it's like (imitates Darth Vader moaning).
- And now she's on all hands and knees,
staring into the camera, with her butt in the air.
- He's got the lightsaber.
- Oh my God, is he gonna spank her with that?
- Please spank her with that.
Oh, that sounds gross.
- He's not gonna put his lightsaber up her butt, is he?
(girl screams)
- No!
I can't watch this!
I won't watch this.
- Ohh! (laughs)
- He's killing her.
She's dead.
He just put his lightsaber in her rectum,
and she's dead.
- Too much! - Her butthole would fall off!
That's like, you know how like, hot lightsabers are?
They like, cut through arms!
Like, you can't just put it in a butthole, and it's fine!
- Also, it's very strange,
'cause it's very long, so he's just like...
- He's very far away.
(laughs)
- This is quite weird.
(groovy music)
I think that made me a little sad,
was that none of them were real fans of Star Wars.
- Nobody looked like they were really having a good time.
Actually, the red lady seemed like she was having fun.
- Red lady took control of the situation,
and really made the best of it.
- I don't feel good.
- I was just disappointed that no one like,
painted their penises like lightsabers.
I thought that was gonna be a thing.
I mean, if my wife was like,
"Hey, put that Stormtrooper suit on,"
I'm like, "Let's do the damn thing."
- Oh, there's a Kill Bill porn?
That looks great.
(lively techno music)