Being a dad and living a rich, cultured life inside Town, USA
as well as being a topic of interest with investigative mystery-obsessed YouTubers,
Dad has learned about a lot of strange things that occur within this planet called Earth.
Actually, let's pause for a moment.
Dad needs to address something.
Yes, Dad said INSIDE this planet.
Dad lives, as well as all of you, inside the Earth.
Not ON the Earth, like you think.
Trust Dad. His wife is an accomplished scientist.
If you are within the five layers of the Earth's atmosphere, then you are inside Earth,
since the atmosphere is part of the Earth.
Us normal regular humans congregate way at the bottom of the troposphere,
so we are deep inside the Earth.
That should put an end to all those reoccurring questions from subs
as to why Dad often says he lives inside the Earth.
There! Now you know.
There are many other questions subs often ask, like...
"Where did Mom and Dad meet?"
and, "What does FOOD taste like?"
Dad has answered many of these questions in comments and in live streams,
but he will answer all of the frequently asked questions in a special video soon.
As for now, let's get back to the topic at hand:
the truly baffling and intriguing story of Mel's Hole.
Mel's Hole.
Wikipedia says Mel's Hole is, according to an urban legend,
an allegedly bottomless pit near Ellensburg, Washington.
Claims about it were first made on the radio show Coast to Coast AM
by a guest calling himself Mel Waters.
Later investigation revealed no such person was listed as residing in that area,
and no credible evidence that the hole actually exists.
The legend of the bottomless hole started on February 21st, 1997,
when a man identified as Mel Waters appeared as a guest on Coast to Coast AM with Art Bell.
Waters claimed that he owned rural property nine miles west of Ellensburg in Kittitas County, Washington
that contained a mysterious hole.
According to Bell's interviews with Waters,
the hole had infinite depth and the ability to restore dead animals to life.
Waters claimed to have measured the hole's depth to be more than 80,000 feet,
using fishing line and a weight.
[Art Bell:] All right, now, to eastern Washington, I guess this is eastern Washington. Mel, are you there?
[Mel:] Yes, I am.
[Art:] All right, when did you discover this hole?
[Mel:] Well, the hole has always been there. We've been out there for a couple of years now, and...
You know, the hole has been there since we've been there.
It's been there since the previous owner was there.
The previous owner there was quite elderly, and...
I'd say he was there for a good thirty, forty years before we moved in.
[Art:] Wow. [Mel:] And then, uh...
[Art:] And so there's been a thing of throwing stuff down this hole for a while.
[Mel:] Oh yeah, it's been going on, you know... [chuckles]
for as long as the hole has been there, I assume.
The people from around here throw all the stuff in the hole, and it's just been going on for a long time. Well...
You know, I got to thinking one day, how come this hole is not filling up?
It must be an awfully deep hole.
You know, I used to be a professional shark fisherman. So I had a couple of huge...
fishing reels, went out there and started... [chuckles] letting the line down,
I figure after one...
[Art:] Did you weight the line?
[Mel:] Oh, yeah, there's... in fact, the original line is still down there.
I've just been adding to the line and keeping track of how much line I've used.
[Art:] There is a tremendous amount of naturally generated high-voltage electricity deep in the Earth.
What if...
the bottom of the hole on Mel's property is a naturally occurring focal point,
a lot like the device that Mr. Markham built.
The Earth could have its own, in effect, time machine.
Over the centuries, through various quakes and so forth,
all of the soil above the portal would have fallen into the bottom and...
been launched into some other time.
This explains the lack of echoes and the apparent depth of the hole.
Tell Mel to lower a clock down there! [laughter]
[Dad:] Later, on another call with Art Bell,
Mel told him how the day after the first radio broadcast telling his story,
Mel was stopped from going onto his property by people in uniforms.
They said there was an airplane crash and he couldn't enter.
He didn't believe them,
so they used a scare tactic by saying that a, quote, "drug lab" could easily be found on his property,
if he didn't turn around.
So Mel said he was gonna go talk to the news about all of this,
and they offered to lease his property for 250,000 dollars a month.
Mel accepted, then went to Australia to help wombats.
Nine months later, he came home to Washington to visit his family,
and the government informed him that his property was now being seized.
Then, while on a bus, there was an altercation.
The police got involved, and they said to Mel they'd give him a ride home in their van.
Mel doesn't remember anything after that.
When he came to, he was in an alley in San Francisco,
with no teeth, and the money had all been removed from his bank account.
Now, if Dad is anything, he's a good judge of character.
This man named Mel sounds incredibly honest.
Dad can hear it in his human voice.
And on top of that, Dad knew another man named Mel who worked at True Value.
That tells you a lot right there.
And one time, while Dad was shopping at True Value,
Mel told Dad that he accidentally paid for five band saws when Dad was only trying to buy three band saws.
Mel didn't take the extra money when Dad made a human error.
He was an honest man with a level head.
That just proves right there that people named Mel can and should be trusted no matter what!
Unfortunately, that Mel died of a broken heart
when Home Depot opened another hideous monstrosity in his hometown of City, USA, Earth.
So, what can we learn about Mel Waters?
What do we know of Mel?
Let's do some research.
Hmm. There seems to be many Mels on Earth.
But who is the real Mel?
Maybe the answer will come if we look into his story.
Here are some things that have happened to Mel that may help build an idea of his character.
Other than being named Mel, which confirms a trustworthy human,
he was threatened by uniformed people.
What is their problem?
I bet they were part of the Dark Party.
Watch out for them.
He found a 1943 dime that was able to dematerialize itself.
Okay, sure.
Daughter dematerializes Dad's bank account all the time with her cell phone bill.
He saw a black beam of anti-light shoot out of the Nevada hole.
Ice lowered down burned for months on end.
Wow.
This Earth can do some pretty crazy things.
[Dad exhales]
It's obvious Mel is telling the truth.
Wow.
Imagine experiencing something so fantastic that when you tell people, they think you're crazy!
Or laugh at you!
Like when Dad says he's gonna be the number one YouTuber in the universes!
Other YouTubers laughed at Dad.
But not Dad's subs.
They know the truth.
Or like when Neighbor sees Dad dancing his human body,
and he laughs, and he says, "What's happening to your body?"
"That's not dancing. Your body's just going into convulsions."
What does Neighbor know?
He wouldn't know what dancing was even if Dad brought the lightning,
and struck him with an infinite bolt of bald charisma, causing him to flop all around downtown Town.
Ugh!
Sorry.
Just... the thought of Neighbor and his incorrect opinion on Dad's bodily rhythms.
Just gets Dad going.
Okay, where were we?
Oh, yeah. People laughing after you after you tell them an extraordinary fact.
That's like if you told your friends that you found the best YouTube channel in the world,
and they said, "Yeah, right. Impossible."
Then you show them Dad's channel,
and in their overwhelming shock that Dad actually exists,
they knock you out, steal your teeth, and dump you in San Francisco.
Oh, poor Mel!
It's no wonder people doubted him.
He says something no one could believe, and they freaked out.
Humans often don't believe what they haven't experienced themselves.
Just because they haven't seen Mel's Hole doesn't mean it doesn't exist!
You can't see Dad's fart right now, [fart noise]
but I'm telling you, it definitely exists. [fart noise]
[Cheryl, distantly:] Ugh. Dad!
[Dad:] Sorry, Cheryl.
See?
Mel's Hole is as real as Dad's hole, and it's filled with wonder and awe.
Uh, Mel's Hole is, not Dad's.
Well, to learn a little bit more about Mel, let's look into some of his scientific hole tests that he made.
So, he lowered 80,000 feet of fishing line with a one pound weight,
and it continued to pull itself down the hole.
Others argued that the weight of the line itself
would be what is pulling the spool down the hole after a certain point,
not the weight on the end of the line.
But by Dad's perfect human logic,
that still means the hole is continuing.
The weight has to fall in order to pull the spool!
It seems that the hole just keeps going.
Mel also dropped a tube TV down the hole, and he didn't hear it break.
Maybe it's still falling.
At first, Mel dropped 4,500 feet of line with Life Saver mints attached to the end
to see if they'd reach water and dissolve. But...
they never dissolved.
So there's either no water,
or no bottom.
Now this next test is probably what gets the most attention out of all Mel's scientific research.
Later, Mel appeared again on the Coast to Coast radio show,
and he talked about the other hole he found in Nevada.
Now this pains Dad to talk about, since Dad harms no living creatures,
but Mel said he and a Basque lowered a sheep into the hole.
They lowered it into the hole for thirty minutes then pulled it back up,
and it was dead.
It looked like it had been cooked.
Maybe that's because at that depth, the temperature of the hole would be at least 100 degrees.
The Basque cut open the sheep, and they discovered a creature now living inside the sheep
that Mel describes as a seal-like creature with human eyes.
The alien creature spoke through a radio boombox.
Oh, yeah, that's not surprising.
Dad's e-phone talks to him all the time.
Boss is constantly talking through it.
That's horrible!
Dad would much rather hear an alien creature speaking through his e-phone.
Maybe Dad needs Bardo Industries to make some upgrades...
to shut up Boss.
Dad can tune in with the aliens.
Maybe Dad could call...
Binxie on the e-phone.
Mmm.
She's a nice alien creature.
Oh...sorry! [nervous chuckle]
Back to the investigation.
The creature moved around the table that they put it on, and it looked directly at Mel.
He had a feeling to pick it up and put it on the ground.
When he did, it left slime on Mel's hands.
Mel said the slime smelled like ozone.
Now, if you don't know what ozone is, it is the smell you detect in the air right before it rains.
Ozone has a distinct smell that humans can detect, even in small concentrations.
It can be found in the troposphere, where we all live,
INSIDE... the Earth.
The creature stared into Mel's eyes with the most compassionate expression he had ever seen.
It went toward the hole, and Mel placed it on the ledge, where it gave them all a slow nod,
and it jumped back into the hole.
Now what this reminds Dad of is one of his last videos:
Crazy But True,
where Dad researched the zombie ants.
The ants go to the lowest, dampest part of the jungle,
where a creature grows out of them, then spreads itself around the jungle.
So when the sheep was lowered into the lowest, dampest part of Earth,
maybe the creature grew out like the fungus from the ant.
But this creature may actually be a healing being, and not a harmful one,
because Mel himself had developed cancer,
but after handling the creature, his cancer had disappeared from his body.
Wow.
Now listen, Dad understands this may all sound completely ridiculous and unbelievable,
but Dad has seen some of the scientific projects that Mom brings home from work,
and he can't even begin to explain to you what he's seen.
Just because you can't explain it doesn't mean it's fake.
True Value's deals defy science and logic, but they still exist.
Dad- BOT- has even been experiencing some changes in his normal human body
ever since hitting 100,000 subscribers that he can't explain.
But they're really happening.
You'll see.
You'll all see soon.
Well, this story is truly eye-opening.
What Dad takes from this,
is not that Mel had a mysterious hole on his property that the government wanted hidden,
so they erased his existence from society and stole his teeth.
What Dad has learned though, about other humans, is that they have lost the ability to think beyond.
Humans are quick to shut down and deny anything out of the ordinary.
Logic and science is not what it seems, because remember-
science changes everyday,
and what exists here is not the truth of the universe.
If an hour is sixty minutes here, it is days somewhere else.
If you die here, it does not mean you're gone forever.
Because you don't know who is showing up elsewhere.
Dad's point is this: you know nothing until you know everything.
And Dad... well...
Dad knows everything.
And that's what dads do.
So listen to Dad.
And keep your eyes on the sky and your ears on the ground.
Maybe in order to see Mel's Hole, we need to be more like Mel,
and not look with our eyes, but look with our minds.
Then we'll see...
beyond.
Thanks for watching another episode of RealiTea, subs.
On the next episode, Dad will do a deep dive
into the life of Jamie,
the man behind the YouTube channel Inside a Mind.
Dad will see what he's really up to, and why did he ever start looking into Dad?
After all, he was the very first YouTuber to ever cover Dad.
Dad knows he's talked about Jaime, Nexpo, Loey, and all the Dark Party members,
But it's time for Dad to do deep research on each individual member of the Dark Party.
Because Dad feels there's something still going on.
They're all acting strange, even though they said the lawsuit is off and everything is fine.
But is everything really fine?
We'll find out on the next episode...
of RealiTea.
Until then, tip your cup to know what's up,
then you'll see... RealiTea.
Goodbye.