Welcome to "Full Frontal."
And welcome to 2018.
[CHEERING]
I hope your New Year's resolution
is to register to vote.
Because mine is to kick nonvoters in the face.
Anyway, last week was like a perfect storm
of events designed to piss off our president.
It began with something he hates-- bad press-- and ended
with something he hates more--
women who don't tolerate sexual assault.
A new day is on the horizon!
[CHEERING]
Oh, shit, she broke Laura Dern.
OK, but the year's best piece of entertainment
wasn't on Sunday night.
It was on Sunday morning when journalist and research team
panty-wetter Jake Tapper interviewed
Trump's senior advisor and human-like casing
filled with wriggly squid tentacles, Stephen Miller.
When tapper had the audacity to bring up the president's
former top aide accusing his son of treason,
Miller got riled up.
Oh, that's his riled up face.
All these so-called political geniuses in Washington,
whether it be at the big lobbying
firms or many of the well known folks in Congress--
The only person who's called himself
a genius in the last week is the president.
But the--
Which is because it happens to be a true statement.
OK.
A self-made billionaire who revolutionized
reality TV and who-- - And I'm sure--
--has changed the course of our politics.
--he's watching, and he's happy that you said that.
Trump was happy, so happy he unfurled
one of his precious hairs and gave it to him as a prize.
The reason Stephen Miller had to go on TV and pledge
his loyalty to Trump was the new book,
"Fire and Fury", which has dominated the news for a week.
It's insanely popular, like an all-Slytherin Harry Potter.
But fun as it is, it's riddled with inaccuracies.
It's thinly-sourced and full of typos.
I mean, Steve Bannon is gross, but I
don't think he does anything with mounting
ferocity and pubic venom.
[LAUGHTER]
Actually, on second thought, that might not be a typo.
Bannon's quotes in the book ended
the Trump-Bannon bromance, and Trump
got full custody of the Pepes.
REPORTER: Steve Bannon is out at Breitbart.
Well, at least now that he's out of the public eye,
he can spend more time doing what he loves--
living in a painting and waiting to fight the Ghostbusters.
[LAUGHTER]
"Fire and Fury" is basically the book-length version of a Trump
tweet, only vaguely truth adjacent, but incredibly
distracting, which is too bad.
Because while everyone on cable news
was fixated on Michael Wolff's shoddy ninth-generation Xerox
copy of "Game Change", there were
actual things happening, like news and stuff or whatever.
I don't know.
Mostly to brown people.
So preparations for the 2020 census.
The Department of Justice is now trying to get census
to add an additional question on citizenship
to that census, which is likely to depress turnout
or participation of Hispanics.
Putting a citizenship question on the census
is a real racist win-win.
Either they get a list of undocumented immigrants,
or Hispanic people avoid answering the census
and lose congressional representatives and funding.
Efficient.
Look, you can't just add whatever
questions you want to the census for your own agenda.
Otherwise, George W. Bush would have added,
"Do you have a pretty pony?"
in anticipation of his painting career.
We also missed this teensy little bit of news.
The US also formally suspended security aid
to Pakistan's military, as President Trump had threatened.
The State Department announced the freeze will last
until Pakistan takes quote, "decisive action
against terrorists."
But it said there may be some exceptions.
That's right.
We've frozen security aid to Pakistan.
But there might be some exceptions,
like if Pakistan wrote some really nice
tweets about the president.
Giving tons of money to a broken state like Pakistan does suck.
The only thing that sucks more is not giving them money.
Cutting them off means cutting ourselves off
from the most accessible routes into Afghanistan, which
our military needs to bring our troops
important supplies and the comedians
we're trying to get rid of.
This shit is complicated.
Not just "Frontline" complicated,
like two-part "Frontline" complicated.
But it matters.
2018 is going to be a really important year, guys,
and we need to keep our eye on the ball.
We can't count on pundits to help.
They're gonna keep getting distracted by the nonsense
of the day like fruitless speculation
about Trump's mental health.
The new White House expose revealed even the president's
inner circle has concerns about whether he
is mentally fit, mentally competent to run the country.
How mentally fit the president is
in terms of his age and ability to comprehend information.
Do you believe the president is mentally
fit to serve as president?
[LAUGHTER]
Well--
Wow, now they all have dementia.
Is President Trump OK?
Fuck no!
He thinks his microwave is listening to him
and that everything is poison but cheeseburgers.
But crazy is what the American people chose.
Yes, Trump is easily distracted, doesn't care about the truth,
and focuses on whatever shiny thing is in front of him.
But if that's enough to get you declared mentally incompetent,
they're going to need to build a bigger asylum.
We'll be right back.
[CHEERING]