- "I would let Ben Barnes spit in my mouth
and I would use it as mouthwash."
I need, I need a sip of, I need a sip of tea here.
Oh, okay, that's better.
Now it's going to be fine.
Hello, I am Ben Barnes,
and I am here with Buzzfeed to read my Thirst Tweets.
I have no idea why.
(mood music)
"As much as I want it,
Ben Barnes is not doing that Thirst Tweets video.
We all saw his reaction to the
'calm heed at tea thing,'"
I know what that was.
Me doing that Instagram game.
"So I cannot imagine him reading the word...
'bussy?'" Bossy? Bussy?
I'm not cool enough to know what "bussy" means.
"...out loud. I'd pay him a thousand dollars
if he could do it and read everything fully."
Well, autumn, you owe me 1000 of your American dollars,
because I just read that out loud
without knowing what "bussy" means.
I could be saying anything.
It sounds rude, but I don't quite know how
to react because I don't know what I'm saying.
(laughing boisterously)
Someone from Buzzfeed has just come in
and told me what "bussy" means.
And, (laughs) that's why my face is going red.
"Ben Barnes, are you free February 14th
because I'm free February 14
and I would like to hang out with you
on February the 14th when I am free.
So please let me know if you're free
to hang out on February the 14th,
because I would like to hang out on
February the 14th when I am free."
(laughs) That is excellent and very, very sweet.
I actually would love to do that.
So, Valentine's Day... sorted.
"@BenBarnes is the type of man I'd let eat
SpaghettiOs on my new bohemian white bed set.
That's how absolutely fine this man is.
Slurp, slurp, baby! It's fine.
Here you've got some sauce in your chin 'whip.'"
(laughs)
These are real things that people
have really typed with their real thumbs.
I'll eat cereal in bed.
SpaghettiOs is, that's quite a compliment to let me do that.
So thank you."
"Ben Barnes, making everyone have dirty thoughts
every time he posts a picture of himself
I bet his Leo ass is enjoying this a lot."
I am a Leo, so that's nice that you know that,
but I, I, yes, I, I...
I enjoy, I enjoy, I enjoy a dirty comment
underneath the picture as much as the next man.
"I would let Ben Barnes pour hot soup into my lap.
Then I would apologize to him."
No, I'm British.
If I poured hot soup into a lap, I would...
I would be apologizing profusely to you.
There's a thing here with soup and SpaghettiOs.
And there's a lot of sort of food here.
I'm sure there's a word for people. Right.
"I swear, God as my witness,
I would give my eternal soul to lick,
lick a Ben Barnes' toe."
Just one.
I would renege on that deal because toes
are not my best quality.
I broke one of them doing a stunt on "The Punisher,"
and it it's still not quite right.
Feet is not my thing,
but I love that it's your thing.
"Listen, I'd never call a man 'daddy,'
but for Ben Barnes, I might let out a 'pa.'
(laughing)
I have a friend who was called "daddy,"
and he was okay with it.
And then the next time she said "dad,"
which he was absolutely not okay with.
And I totally get that.
I don't know where I stand on "pa."
No, I do know where I stand on it.
Please, don't. (laughs)
They're getting where I can feel them
getting steadily... and there's quite a lot left, yeah.
"I would let Ben Barnes spit in my mouth
and I would use it as mouthwash."
My saliva has dried up just reading that.
"Ben Barnes could literally snap me in half
and (beep) me into the next century
and I would fully let him."
Well, I wouldn't want to do that without consent.
So, thank you for the consent.
"Whose beep do I need to beep
to hug Ben Barnes and smell him just for once.
Tell me."
This is confusing because if I meet you,
I'm very willing to hug you, so that's fine.
You don't need to eat anyone's feet for that,
and give away more of yourself than you need to.
"The way I'm not even flexible,
but I'd let Ben Barnes turn me into a pretzel
if he wanted to."
I love a pretzel, a snack.
"Ben Barnes, hold my hand in public
and my neck and private, challenge."
That is the way around I would do it.
The other way around would be somewhat inappropriate.
(laughing)
Droughts to life.
"Ben Barnes,"
I love how everyone's using my full name.
"Ben Barnes, in case you were wondering,
all my holes are free real estate."
"Buss yo children in my bussy, sir."
"Buss yo children in my..."
"Buss yo children in..."
I don't know how to stress this.
(laughs) Buzzfeed has interjected again.
The tell me, "buss," remind me that...
"Buss yo children in my bussy, sir."
"Ben Barnes, expand the fold in my bussy challenge."
That one, I'm just going to leave it alone where it is.
This is the last one that I'm going to reveal,
and I'm incredibly worried about some of you.
"Ben Barnes,"
(laughs)
No, you've got parents.
"Ben Barnes, let me eat that ass like a (beep)
sausage McGriddle with extra maple syrup.
I'd tear that (beep) up.
I'd say SLORMP on that (beep), you feel me?
Your knees could be the apple pie on the side.
I'd munch, munch, munch that (beep)
and wash it down with a cold glass of my tears."
Oh, that took a turn.
That had everything that was a bit sexy
and then very, very weird.
And then went back into the whole food thing
we've all got going on.
Then "slormp" in capital letters just knocked me back a bit.
Then you called me a (beep),
which I wasn't sure how to feel about.
Apple pie, I love, and then ending it with
the cold glass of your tears.
Please don't cry now.
I might go and have a little cry now,
but please don't you cry.
Thank you everyone for these... compliments?
I am, I'm honored, and I will see you
with a can of SpaghettiOs on February 14th when I am free.
(mood music)