(Christmas music playing)
- Hello lovely people,
and welcome to a special vlogs episode
of Sweet Aunt, Spicy Aunt,
featuring the fabulous Stevie Boebi.
- Hello.
- Now we just filmed an episode over on Stevie's channel.
The link will be in the description down below,
but we're going to be answering some
of your special Christmas-themed, well, holiday-themed-
- Holidays, yeah.
- Holiday-themed questions for the two of us.
We are here to be your agony aunts
in our very own special way, (Stevie laughing)
giving our very different points of view.
- [Josie] How can I stop having to over-explain
why I can't eat certain things at family gatherings?
- Oh goodness.
Please give me the answer to this.
I think at a certain point,
it becomes about just self-preservation,
I'm going to say.
I think when someone has asked you
for the eighth time why you can't eat the normal bread,
you just say, "I don't."
Or. depending on how much you really,
really can't be arsed today and don't like them,
explain your gastric distress in intimate detail.
- Yeah, I think that with any dietary restriction,
for any reason, so many people need training
about why it is so messed up to comment
on someone else's diet, or their plate,
or what they're eating, and how harmful and dangerous it is.
And unfortunately, because most people are not educated
about the harm that can be caused to people who do
have restricted diets or whatever, the people who do have
a restriction of some kind
need to be really good at setting boundaries,
and need to feel really comfortable with confrontation.
So I would say trying to figure out what way is best for you
and most comfortable for you to set those boundaries,
whether that is sending an email blast to everyone
with a list of rules, "You are not allowed to say this,
"you can say this, you're not allowed to say this,
"you can say this."
Just in general, stop.
Everybody needs to stop commenting on what people eat.
Like eating disorders are the deadliest mental illness.
So why are people just so rude all the time?
- I know. This is a really sore point for me.
- I don't even have any dietary restrictions, I'm mad.
(both laughing)
- My answer isn't even like the sweetest out there.
But yeah, this is a really sore point for me because
dietary things are something that I really struggle with.
I have a really bad digestive system.
I can't have (laughs) sugar,
(images popping) gluten, dairy, garlic, onions,
and a variety of other things.
Pulses. Mm. It's a lot.
But also I have a baby who can't have dairy,
and we're now realizing it's a really bad time with gluten,
so I'm very much like, okay, I'm gonna educate people,
the first couple of times that they talk to me about it.
And then if they are still refusing to get it
through their heads,
if they are being in any way dangerous towards my baby,
then I'm absolutely just not...
I'm just not standing for it. I'm sorry.
If you behave in a manner that puts my child at risk,
you don't get invited to Christmas.
Absolutely not. It's not happening.
Not having it.
- Yeah. And saying, "I don't answer questions about that,"
is perfectly acceptable.
- I feel like we've spoken enough on this topic,
so I'm actually just gonna eat my bread over there.
Thanks Uncle John. Done.
- Uncle John and his comments.
- Chase. - Next question.
What are some useful things I can ask for
that are fatigue or mobility aid related as a gift?
- Well we've got that cute little cane seat.
- Yes. The Flipstick is amazing. I love the Flipstick.
For me, something I'm asking for for Christmas is
there's this set, oh, I'll have to send it to you
so you can put it in the description.
There's this company that makes...
They're just tools to open things.
So it's like a whole, like, basically a whole tool belt
of different things that open boxes or whatever,
but they're made fully of ceramic
so they can't cut you and your skin.
- Oh, I see.
- So really good for kids as well.
- Oh!
- I do have a baby that chops things.
- Yeah, so it's like a bunch of different things to cut
and open things, but like, is safe to skin.
- Mm. - So cool.
What things do you have?
- I really like compression.
I find that really helps with my fatigue.
So things like a corset, I know that's really niche.
Not everyone... (both laughing)
not everyone, A, wants to wear a corset,
and finds it comfortable or helpful,
but for me, I find them really, really helpful.
I find they help regulate my blood pressure
actually move my blood around my body
at a more regulated pace,
and stop my blood from pooling so much, which is quite nice.
Compression socks are also great,
if you don't want your feet turning purple.
That's quite handy.
- Special ice packs.
Special ice packs are always needed,
like ones that can attach to different areas with Velcro.
I really want one of those migraine helmets
that covers your whole face and head
that are like ice packs,
but then they have like, they go like this out,
to where you can still get it- - Out what?
- It's like right here is where I want the ice.
You know what I mean?
- You're gonna have to send me so many links for this video.
I'm like, I what? (both laughing)
- Click the affiliate link.
- You spent so much time finding these things,
and I'm just like,
"I have no idea what you're about now."
I like to make small adjustments to things,
because I think if the smaller things that you do
to stop the problem happening is more helpful
than having the problem and then having to help solve it.
So things rather than like, "Oh I've now got a migraine
"because I used up my energy, and now I need like
"the ice pack," stopping from using up my energy.
So things like making sure
that I take my cutlery around with me.
I have special cutlery that has bigger handles,
because my hands don't work particularly well.
So things like that.
- Yeah, I need to take that feather outta your cap.
'Cause I'm definitely reactive, as opposed to preventative.
- I am very much the preventative girl.
- Yeah. I'm like well I have a migraine but I got stuff
to do, so let's strap an ice pack to my head
and go about my business.
- And I'm like, let's plan my life
so that I do not have the migraine.
I mean, it still hits me sometime for no reason.
- [Josie] Next question.
What are some ways that me and my partner
can create our own traditions around Christmas?
- Ways to create your own traditions?
Honey, everything you do is a tradition now,
as long as you do it again. (laughs)
- Yeah.
- That's how it works.
What do you like, what do you want to do?
Plan anything. You could just choose. Watch some movies.
Anything you've ever seen in a movie.
Anything your friends used to do.
Anything you were like, "Oh you know, I really,
"I mean growing up I was always really jealous
"that my friend's family who used to do X,
"God, I always wish we had done X on Christmas."
(claps) We do now.
Yes. You do it this year and you do it next year.
Tradition.
- Yeah. - It's yours.
You've done it. You took it, belongs to your family now.
- We have a hard time remembering that we wanted
to do a tradition.
So I need to like start writing it down so you can remember.
'Cause me and Josie really wanna do one called
(wind chime dinging) the Pajama Fairy,
where when you go to bed,
when you have Christmas Eve dinner, the Pajama Fairy comes
and gives you new pajamas to wear for the next morning,
and it just appears on the bed.
But we haven't done it.
- Can I just, how does this work
without like a parent to put it there for you?
Well Jessica, we are never-
- Like who is the Pajama Fairy?
- We are never around children on Christmas Eve.
So, it's just full-on adults talking about fairies.
- No, I mean, (laughs) sorry, (both laughing)
my question was more,
who's the fairy guys, like, or do you delivery the fairy?
(Jessica laughing)
- I don't know who the fairy is.
Is it the gender of your driver who turns up?
- It's obviously the Pajama Fairy
- Some pajamas. (both laughing)
Like Father Christmas.
- No one's ever seen the Pajama Fairy,
I don't know what to tell you.
- (laughing) Okay.
You know like Father Christmas comes for Claudia,
and then I have to leave the room.
(laughs) Father Christmas comes for me.
- Aw, that's cute.
I like that.
Yeah. You know, it's all a game.
- He comes individually.
I mean he doesn't come at all,
obviously, 'cause he's a real creep.
(spring bouncing) (both laughing)
- I think Jessica's catching some spice.
- I'm sorry. I'm just still terrified of Father Christmas.
(laughs) We've had some discussions
about whether we're actually doing Father Christmas.
- Mm.
- We are.
- Are you?
- I lost the argument.
It wasn't an argument, but I lost.
- [Josie] How do I handle receiving a gift
from my partner that I don't like?
- Oh. Oh hun.
You smile, (laughs) and you say thank you,
and think that maybe they're just a really bad gift giver,
and they tried their hardest,
and they put some thought into it,
and it's the thought that counts, and isn't that nice?
- Yeah. This is why I didn't realize that I had been
giving Jessica gifts that she hated,
because she was just very polite the whole time.
And I need to be told.
So if someone gives me a gift I don't like,
I straight up say, "Why would you get this for me?"
Like please give me- - You gave me a bidet.
- Please give me your explanation
for why you thought I would enjoy this gift.
And then I get to know why.
And then sometimes I can find like, "Oh that's really cute
"that they thought that this and they put this together.
"But that's not actually true.
"But like it's still sweet now," instead of, I don't know.
I wouldn't put on a happy face and be like,
"Wow, I love it."
But I really struggle with tact.
Just having it at all.
- [Josie] Are you ready for the next question?
- Yes.
- How can I make the holidays still feel magical
when I'm in too much pain physically to decorate?
- That's a very good question.
I think that oftentimes at Christmas,
we set ourselves very high expectations
about what Christmas should be, what it has to be.
Like we watch a lot of films and TV,
and it seems to be a certain way,
and I think Christmas doesn't have to be like that.
It doesn't have to be the same every single year.
It doesn't have to be checking things off a list.
Like "Have you done this this year?
"Have you managed to do this?
"Have you managed to do that?"
It can just be enjoying where we are in the moment,
and having the best time that we are able to have,
right then and there.
And if your Christmas joy right there is lying on the sofa
and watching a Christmas movie, then you are
having some Christmas fun, and it's okay to not have.
"Wow. The whole house is decorated.
"Oh my goodness.
"The Christmas tree is fabulous and it's up
"and there's everything on it.
"Whoa. Amazing."
Because you're having some Christmas cheer,
and that's a great Christmas Day.
- I think that if you, if you're in too much pain
to do big grand things that are kind of far away from you,
if that makes sense?
Like the lights in the tree,
and the tree built and all of that.
I think that you should shift your perspective,
and figure out how to make everything look decorated
on a small scale.
So what I would do is I would take glasses
and then get battery operated light
and string it around the glasses
to where then everywhere you look, your house is decorated.
(Jessica laughing) Come on. That's genius.
- All that.
Yes. All that.
- Literally just get some lights-
- Also an option.
- hanging on your head, to where you kind of see
the sparkles in your periphery,
and look around and be like, "Wow, this whole house-"
- You know what, actually- - "is so decorated."
- you've got a point.
Decorate one room, decorate one room, or decorate one wall,
turn and stare at it. Done.
- Yeah. Like right next to your bed,
get a blanket and be like, "Oh, I can only see this now."
You know, change the perspective.
Smaller scale.
- Sure. Yeah.
(Stevie laughing)
Or, boss other people around.
- Hmm.
- That's also, that's also-
- Yeah.
When your Amazon guy comes to deliver something,
be like, "Can you, uh..."
- While you are here, put these lights up.
- Yeah. Task Rabbit is also pretty cool.
- Huh? - Task Rabbit.
It's a website where you can hire people
to do certain things. - Ooh.
- Because like watch, so now everything is decorated.
Like in your periphery- - Wow.
- you have all these lights.
- Oh my goodness. - Do you know what I mean?
- My entire house, decorated.
- I look through that.
- Stevie, fully decorated.
- Everything is decorated. - Goodness.
- So Christmasy.
I love it.
- Yeah.
- Okay.
(both giggling)
- [Josie] Well, that's all of the questions.
But I wanted to throw in a little bonus thing,
which I want a simple yes/no from both of you.
- [Jessica] A simple yes/no.
Gosh, when have we ever been able to do simple?
- [Josie] Should this person come out
by putting a pride flag inside the Turkey?
(Jessica spluttering) (spring bouncing)
(both laughing)
- Absolutely. - How would they find out?
- I don't think it will still be clean, though.
It might not look like a rainbow after.
- Like how would that work?
You should do a rainbow bath bomb,
so that then when you pour the gravy on, then there'll be
like rainbow fuzziness that come, but then in the Turkey.
- Oh. (shuddering) Absolutely not.
Also, I don't think it will come out as a rainbow.
It will come out as like a sea of color.
- Yeah. - How would people get,
"I'm gay!" from this?
I don't think they would, they'd be like
"What are you doing?
"They're having a Turkey."
- Yeah. Like how- - They're very British-
- I'm so confused.
So you stuff the Turkey with a rainbow flag,
and then when you take it out of the oven,
do you remove what's inside of it?
- [Josie] You would cut into it, and then...
- Then, but when you cut in-
- You just cut the meat off. - It's a bone, Josie.
- You don't cut underneath it.
- You cut meat.
- [Josie] Isn't there like a tradition
where you pull something out of the turkey?
- Stuffing.
- That's when you stuff it.
- But most people do stuffing like in a separate-
- So maybe this family do stuff the turkey.
- we're really over-complicating this.
- Yeah. - She said yes/no.
- [Josie] I did say yes/no. (Jessica laughing)
- Yeah.
- And I told you when have we ever had a simple answer?
- Oh, yeah. We didn't follow the rules.
- No.
- I think yes, because you should do whatever you want.
- I think, put it in a present.
- Yeah. I have logistics questions, but...
- Confetti. Confetti bomb.
- I'm, yes- - Rainbow confetti bomb.
(Stevie laughing) - I'm, we're both yes.
Mine's just more practical.
Josie knew we couldn't answer a yes or no question. (laughs)
- [Josie] I know. Absolutely impossible.
Okay.
- Let us know how it goes. (wind chime dinging)
Thank you so much for watching, everyone.
I hope you've had a good time, and I hope you're going
on to have a marvelous Christmas, if you do celebrate it,
or a lovely Hanukah, or any other wonderful ceremony
that you are partaking in at this joyful time of year.
Or maybe you are just sitting on the sofa,
enjoying some delicious food and fuzzy warm vibes.
- Mm.
Love that.
- And movies.
'Cause some good movies come out of this time of year.
- So many movies.
Get the Kleenex though, because they're often quite sad.
- Mm. They're moving.
- Yeah. - And sparkly.
(Jessica sighing) (Stevie giggling)
- If you've enjoyed this video, you'll probably enjoy
some of the other Sweet Aunt, Spicy Aunt videos I've made
with Stevie, which you can find in the playlist down below.
Ta-da, along with all of Stevie's various links
to where you will find her across the internet,
including on your channel, which is called...
- Stevie. (laughs)
- And your Instagram, which is called... (laughs)
- Stevieboebi.
- And your TikTok, which is called...
- Stevieboebi.
- And...
- Yeah, that's- - Twitter?
(both groaning) - Yeah. Twitter's...
- No no no no no...
- Twitter's exploding right now.
- It's fine. We don't need to go for Twitter.
No, nevermind.
(Stevie laughing)
Forget about that one.
Awkward. (Stevie laughing)
Well thank you so much for watching,
and I'll see you in the next video.
(Jessica kissing)
(Christmas music playing)
(Christmas music ending)