-Our next guest is a talented musician and actor
you know from the Showtime series
"On Becoming a God in Central Florida."
She stars in "Monarch," which airs Tuesday nights on Fox.
Let's take a look.
-I hate that everything has to be a competition.
I love Nikki.
-Well, so do I, but what can I say?
People like a little "Game of Thrones"
with their country music.
When your mama won her first crown,
she sang circles around both Reba and Dolly.
-I appreciate the support.
I'm going to go out there and do my best,
but this is not a competition and there is no rivalry.
-Her naivety is adorable.
-Please welcome back to the show
our friend Beth Ditto, everybody!
[ Cheers and applause ]
♪♪
Beth, it has been too long!
You haven't been here since 2019,
and then you were supposed to come and you got COVID.
How was your recovery?
-I am -- You know what's weird? You want to really know?
-Yeah, get into it.
-They told me I have eight minutes. I was like, "Okay."
The funny thing is I have this, like --
'Cause, you know, with COVID, everybody was depressed, right?
Like, really -- I mean...
-Yeah, yeah, I think you've nailed it.
-Yeah.
[ Laughter ]
I'm very smart.
[ Laughter ]
So, anyway, but, like, it made me, like --
I came out of it -- Like, as soon as I got COVID.
And then I got better, and it was -- that was --
All the depression through the pandemic and isolation.
Look at how I'm sitting. I'm like -- plbt!
I've got thighs that touch,
and so putting 'em together is an effort.
And that's not -- I'm not trying to be funny.
That's just the truth. -Okay.
That's good. That's good. Back story.
-Okay. Thank you.
So, yeah, so it made me -- it made me --
I came out of it.
Like, after I got over COVID, a couple days later,
I had this like -- I went and got my hair done
with my friend because I'm cheap.
Ordered the hair on Amazon. Just like this wig.
And that's not an Amazon commercial 'cause -- But --
-By the way, if it was an Amazon commercial...
-$90.
-...I think they might have had some notes.
-Yeah.
[ Laughter ]
Who? Elon?
-Yeah. No. Jeff. Yeah. Elon is Tesla.
-The band? -Yeah, he's Tesla.
♪ Signs, signs, everywhere the signs ♪
Y'all are young. Y'all are young.
-Oh, my God. That is Elon Musk in Tesla.
[ Laughter ]
-Oh, my God! -Oh, my God!
So you come out of COVID.
-Yeah, I came out of it, and I felt like myself again.
-Mm-hmm. That's good. -Something happened.
Like, there's -- Did you have that relief when you had it?
I'm sorry you had it. -Uh-huh, thank you.
I did. -That you got it?
-Yeah. -Yeah, so I had that.
But then this thing happened
where I knew I was coming to see you.
-Mm-hmm. -And then that was such a joy.
And then, like, doing interviews and stuff.
I just love people so much, you know?
-It's really nice to be back with them, isn't it?
-Yeah, yeah. -It is really nice.
-I want to tell you something. -Yeah, go.
-You listen to me. -I am.
-Ya handsome little devil. -[ Laughs ]
-I watch your show. You know this.
-Uh-huh. -I love television. I love it.
And during COVID,
I feel a little touched -- But y'all watch the show.
When you say, "We love you," to every--
I'm getting choked up about it.
I was always like,
"There are people in their apartments right now.
There are people in their house, they're isolated,
and no one is telling them they love them."
You know, it's really important, and I really mean it.
-That's very sweet of you to say.
-Yeah. I'm lying.
[ Laughter ]
My PR people were like,
"This is gonna hit the nail on the head!"
That's not true. I never listen to them.
They're always like, "Beth, don't say this."
And I'm like, "Okay!"
-You seem very PR-coached. -Okay.
[ Laughter ]
-Everybody's like, "Where is the real Beth?"
Hey. Can I ask you a question? -Yes.
-I know you follow astrology. You're into it, right?
-Oh. Am I queer and from Portland?
-Whoo! -Yes.
Can't sling a dead cat without hitting a witch.
-Okay. So...
-You want to know a story? -I would love to.
-Okay. Buckle up, baby. -You know what?
I'm gonna just get rid of these.
-Me too.
[ Cheers and applause ]
-Burn, baby, burn! -Yeah, yeah, yeah, okay.
-What else was I going to say?
-Oh, you had actually offered to babysit my kids, and then
I heard you babysat your nieces during the pandemic.
-Doing your "researsh." "Researsh."
-I've done my researsh, as the French say.
-Bonjour. -Bonjour.
We got a couple of French people in the audience tonight
who are looking for a place to stay.
Can they come to your...?
-Really? -Yeah.
[ Laughter ]
It was a real -- Let's just say
it was a real classic French moment.
Like --
[French accent] "I need a place to stay."
[ Speaking French ]
Where to? Where to?
"Where to?" What are you doing?
-No. [ Speaking French ] -They're over --
You can talk to them in the commercial.
-[ Speaking French ]
You can live with me tonight. -Yeah.
[ Speaking French ]
[ Singing in French ]
-[ Laughs ]
-I just love music. I love it.
-You love music. -You know what?
In the -- During the pandemic. -Uh-huh.
-I just want to shut out my little nephew Ian,
who's here tonight. -Really?
-He's from the town that my parents grew up in.
-Okay. -80 people.
-80 people? -Mm-hmm.
-And this is in Arkansas?
-Arkansas. The oldest town in Arkansas.
-And I've heard you say that Arkansas in the '90s --
-It was a cultural hub, honey!
[ Laughter ]
Let me ask you something. -Sure.
-Do you like the smell of dollar stores?
-I do. I do.
-I know where you need to go. -Yeah.
My mom's house -- Hi, mom -- is --
I knew she became a grandmother when --
She has so many grandkids. -Okay.
-I knew she became a grandmother when I walked into the house
and it smelled like a grandma's house.
That's not the smell of my youth.
That only happens when your children give birth to children.
I swear to God. -Oh, it does --
You don't -- It is not that the smell preexists.
-Oh, no, it didn't smell like that when I was a kid.
-Yeah. Maybe your nose changed. Do you think that happened?
-You know what's funny? Even before COVID,
I haven't had a sense of smell in eight years.
-Really? So you kind of were ahead of the curve with COVID.
-Listen.
I was. -You were.
-I was. You're a trend-setter.
-Hey. You know what? Thank you! -You're welcome!
-This is the respect I deserve! -And we're running out of time.
-I know. I hate it.
-So I'm gonna ask one question about your show.
-Yeah, I'm on it. I'm on it. It's on Fox.
[ Laughter ]
[ Applause ]
-I think there's a...
I don't know what more you can say about it than that.
But you -- So you are a singer, but you came from indie music,
you came from punk music,
and now you're playing a country music singer.
Did you have to teach yourself how to sing like a country --
I'm genuinely curious if that came to you naturally.
-Well, no. -Okay.
-No, I think it could have,
if it was coming from the kind of --
Like, when I signed up for the project, I was like --
I just want to say also that whole clip was not about me.
It was about Kevin Cahoon. And he is so incredible.
-He's a very good actor. Very funny.
-Do you know him?
-No, but I thought he was really good in that.
-He's an angel. An angel.
Paulie! Hi.
[ Laughter ]
Um...
[ Laughter ]
He wrote all the material.
-Oh. -Um, I'm so sorry.
-You don't -- -I'm like, "Waka-waka!"
-You never have to apologize to me.
I look forward to this.
This is my -- You know, this is a highlight.
[ Laughter ]
I mean, it is -- -That makes me happy.
And I will babysit your kids.
-Uh, you will not.
-That Ramona -- Why?!
[ Laughter ]
I could -- This is what I don't understand!
-I feel like if I told you three things on my way out the door,
they would be out of your head
by the time I was in the elevator.
-See, you know what you're wrong about?
-What? -Everything.
For real. I can remember.
I have an incredible memory. I remember everything.
Ask anyone.
The thing is, you know, like,
I just really -- When it counts, I'm there.
-Okay. I believe that. -I really am.
-You know what? -I've been chewing gum.
We got to go. -Yeah, the worst part.
-I gotta go. [ Grunts ] -Give me your hands.
You guys, this is Beth Ditto, everybody.
She is one in a million!
Mwah!
"Monarch" airs Tuesday nights on Fox.
We'll be right back with more "Late Night."
Look at her dress! Look at her dress!