It's okay to be fucked up.
You're not alone.
I've been where I'm split between my angels and my demons
and battle with it every day,
what's reality, what's not reality,
and it's really hard when you feel isolated,
so I just wanted to let people know
that I go through it too, and I'm here.
(smooth jazz music)
Me and Travis Barker only met
like, maybe two weeks ago?
We were at his restaurant, Crossroads, the vegan restaurant,
and I don't even really mess with vegan food like that,
but I was there, and he kept bringing out these plates.
And, dude, I was munching.
That's shit was so good.
We hopped in his car afterwards,
and he showed me the songs
he was making with Kels and Dom,
and I was like, "Yo, these are crazy."
He was like, "Yeah, dude, we're about to start this all up.
"It's gonna be insane."
And I was like, "Yeah."
I didn't really know what was gonna happen,
but he was right.
He was right.
As soon as we start getting in the studio, dude,
we just start pumping it out.
♪ Two-face, two-face, yeah ♪
♪ Black, white, left, right, yeah ♪
I'm not a rapper, so I'm never gonna say I'm a rapper,
but I do like to freestyle because I, again,
I'm really big about being authentic.
And even if I don't say correct words,
I think that in the moment what you're saying,
you get a really good result,
and, obviously, Juice was the reason
I started recording music, going in the studio,
is actually at a concert that I realized I was like,
"I need to record this 'cause music
"is way more than just lyrics and shit."
So he became an idol of mine,
and I really was just trying to push forth a legacy
that him and so many other artists laid down
with rock foundations.
♪ Up, down, all night, yeah ♪
♪ Can't escape it ever ♪
I was feeling like I couldn't escape myself,
and that's really the whole point of the whole song,
is I'm fighting my inner demons and my angels
and figuring out, trying to figure out,
who I am, and I'm going insane.
Everyone goes through that shit.
You know what I mean?
Everyone goes through that.
And so I immediately just
let it come out of my mouth just like water.
♪ Don't forget my name ♪
♪ I don't feel the same ♪
♪ On a trip, no train ♪
It sounds like I'm talking to kind of everyone,
but, in that sense, I was talking to myself.
I was like, "Don't forget my name,"
because I couldn't even figure out who I was.
And so I was trying to resemble
that my name is who I really am, and who I was born,
and how I'm feeling is like what's going on.
And so I was like, "Don't forget it, bro,
"just because you're fucked up off all this shit."
♪ And all these angels and demons ♪
♪ Keep shouting and screaming ♪
♪ I'm falling from Eden ♪
I grew up with a lot of biblical knowledge.
My parents were pastors my whole life,
and I think it's really cool to kinda bring it in in music
because there's a lot of metaphor.
And so when I was saying I was falling,
it was like it's because of my own doing.
Transgressions against myself
is the reason that I'm falling.
I have no idea where I am.
I think it's where a lot of people are in the world,
and there's a lot of people who go through that.
It's their own fault, you know I'm saying?
I did it to myself, but now I'm in,
I'm still at the victim of my own mind.
♪ So fuck me like a rock star ♪
♪ Dancing on a cop car ♪
♪ Nothing in the world can stop me now ♪
I have a couple buds in Canada,
and when Toronto when the finals,
they were moshing in the streets,
and they said that they were jumping
on the cop car and just dancing,
and they said they felt like they're on top of the world.
♪ So fucked up like a rock star ♪
♪ Riding in a cop car ♪
♪ No one in the world can help me out ♪
That's where I feel when I feel like an angel,
like I'm on top of the world, and then the exact opposite,
but, in the same sense, I'm fucked up like a rock star
and I'm in the cop car instead of dancing on it
'cause I got arrested, you?
Where am I going?
There's nowhere else to go, like, no one can help me.
So it's a cool duality.
♪ Everybody's said that I'm falling, uh ♪
♪ Take another line, I'm calling, uh ♪
Do not do drugs, kids.
Not good.
I'm not saying do drugs,
but I did kinda wanna get a sense of a metaphor
to show the state of being fucked up.
♪ I'm so sick of the nonsense, uh ♪
♪ I'ma dive into the mosh pit, uh ♪
Juice Wrld was the first concert I ever went to really,
and then it changed my life.
And I moshed at that concert.
I would say I was moshing,
and I pushed this kid into this big guy,
and he spilled his beer, and he just turned
and just socked him in the face and knocked him out.
I was like, "Oh, shit."
So I walked over to the other side. (laughing)
I'm so sick of what's going on.
I'm just gonna go dive in a mosh pit where it's carefree
and just anything happens, you know what I'm saying?
Just to the whim of whatever it goes.
♪ I don't really think I'm the problem ♪
♪ I don't really think it's a problem ♪
♪ Me plus me is a problem ♪
I really, at that time in my life,
was torn between what my body wanted to do
and then what my heart wanted to do,
and so all that was going on in my mind.
And I was going and saying, like,
I didn't have any grasp of what world was.
Right there I'm trying to reason with myself,
like, "Is there a problem?
"I don't think it's a problem.
"I'm the problem."
♪ One gunshot, I could solve 'em ♪
It is probably the darkest line in the song.
You hear the change in tempo and stuff.
I'm not say trying to say that it's good to go through this,
to go through maybe being suicidal,
but it definitely is a real thing,
and I think people should understand the severity of it.
♪ Tell my friends I'm sorry though ♪
♪ Tell my sins to go ♪
If I were to leave, I know that all my friends
would be devastated, and it's the same for them.
I would be done if one of my friends had to leave us,
and so I wanted people to really understand
that in moment that it's like, "This is real."
You know what I mean?
The guns are real, the pills are real,
and we need to figure out a way to help people
in a better way than we have been.
The reason I started music
was to help people in that position.
I realized that it worked
because music was so therapeutic for me
when I was depressed and had the most anxiety in my life,
and I know that if I can be authentic
and real with my music
and talk about what I've been through,
that it would also be therapeutic for others.
And so that's the goal with it all.
(smooth jazz music)