Do you want to know
You know, those things that they never want you to find out?
I'm going to be sharing all of them
right here with you in this video right now, coming up.
Hey, so I'm Rebecca Zung, and I'm an Attorney,
and I am an Author
and I'm also a Narcissist Negotiation Experts.
So what I do here on this channel is I have help you
figure out how to deal with, manage
and actually be powerful and in control
when you're dealing with narcissists
and especially in negotiations.
So if that's you make sure that you subscribe to my channel
and hit that notification bell
and that way you'll get notified when I upload new videos.
Okay, so let's talk about
There are certain things
that they never, ever, ever want you to find out, okay.
And so let's talk about that too
because here's the thing, narcissists there's a side to them
that's like, they never want you to know.
Do you remember the song, "The stranger" by Billy Joel?
Like we all have a face that we hide away forever
and we take them out
and show ourselves when everyone has gone.
That's kind of how they are.
I mean, we all sort of have that piece of ourselves,
but they really do live like a secret life.
They have this deep-seated feeling inside
of unworthiness.
And yeah, so we all struggle with worthiness
at times in our lives,
but they that's like a way of being for them.
It's how they are in the world.
And so they're like scared little children inside
and they live in a world of survival and scarcity.
And if you have then I can't have,
and that's, you know, hey I guess something happened to them
in their childhood
and it caused them to think that the world is a scary place.
And so they are actually really, really fearful.
I mean, narcissists, that's the big huge secret,
that's the big scam, is they want you to think
that they are super strong and powerful
and they'll never lose and they say things like that,
but they say that because they want you to believe that,
they're trying to convince you that that's how things go
because they're so scared that it's not going to go their way.
And so the first thing that they fear the most is
They want to have control over everything in their lives,
every piece of everything they can,
every person that they can.
I mean, they're trying to suck supply out of every person
and every situation that they're in,
but they want to have control over it
so that they will be able to do that.
So definitely, their first biggest fear
is just losing control in any situation.
And so they go to great lengths to protect that for sure.
I have a whole video on what happens
when a narcissist loses control.
So you definitely want to check that out as well.
Okay, So now let's go back.
The second thing that narcissists fear the most is
They don't want to be rejected.
They don't want to be abandoned.
And you know, for this one, it's kind of interesting to me
because this is the one that, you know, as an empath,
which I'm an empath, and I know a lot of you out there,
I see you empath out there.
You know, this is the one
that we kind of see that piece of them.
Sometimes we see those little shades of that
and that's where we think,
"Oh, you know we can love them back to health.
We can do that for them."
And I have a whole video, by the way,
those symbiotic relationship
between the narcissist and the empath
which you might want to check out, but, you know,
you can almost feel sorry for them in this one
or want to be there for them
or want to heal them in some way,
if they weren't so freaking heinous
on the other side of things, you know.
I mean, I was in a relationship with a narcissist too.
It was not a romantic relationship,
it was a kind of a business partnership.
And, you know, one of the things that I...
It was just always so marveling about
was like why would this person
think that I would want to stay in a relationship
of any kind when they were so horrible,
but it's almost like they don't even see that sometimes.
I don't know.
Or they think that they're pulling the wool over you
by like their future faking, and their love bombing
and their hoovering and all of that.
But they're going to be able to like get you to not see it
and just stay with them, I don't know.
But it's like so crazy how they can like devalue you
and debase you and diminish you in so many ways
and then turn around
and be afraid that you're going to leave them,
but they are, they're afraid of rejection.
It's a very, very ironic kind of situation for them
because they are desperately afraid
that you're going to reject them or abandoned them,
but yet on the other hand, they treat you so poorly.
And so it's really kind of toxic and messed up,
but you can't fix it, empaths.
You can't do that.
So don't even try to do that.
Find other people in the world
who don't have those issues, okay.
Telling you right now.
All right. So next one.
The next thing that they fear is
like anything, like being perceived as the loser,
being perceived as the person who didn't...
Like even with like the most mundane of things,
they withhold information that might help you
or they withhold even the smallest things
because they want to look better than you in some way.
And I was always like surprised by that, you know,
like, especially if it's in like a company
or something like that
where it would just help the entire company
if you had the information or you had, you know
the better program or whatever it is.
And even that, even that, they can't give it to you
because it's like their survival scarcity mentality.
Like if you look better in any way
then they somehow are perceived as the loser
and they can't do that.
And they really see the world in like very black and white,
you know, it's like winners and losers
or people who got it or people who didn't,
and who's for them and who's against them too, by the way.
So, you know, it's a very difficult way
to be in the world for them, for sure.
And the next thing that they fear is
for anything that they didn't do
or should have done.
If you try to hold them accountable,
if you try to hold them responsible,
they will deny and deflect,
and it'll be somebody else's problems.
that's basically what I say,
is like those are the things that they do
if you try to hold them responsible for anything.
They definitely don't want that.
And if you, by the way, are so ready to out them,
I want you to write
Just write
'cause we are ready to do this, right.
That's what I'm teaching you right here in this channel, so.
And the last thing that is their biggest fear is
Being exposed especially to people they respect.
And that's how I teach you how to ethically manipulate
the manipulator by creating leverage,
by creating leverage that is going to ultimately,
potentially threaten a source of narcissistic supply
that's going to mean more to them to keep,
than the supply that they get from jerking you around.
And so here's what I want you to do,
I want you to start thinking about defeating them
by being unpredictable.
You know what that looks like?
You being strong, you being on the offensive,
you being the one that says,
"You know what?
I'm going to get what I'm entitled to in this situation."
That will totally throw them off their game. Totally.
If you try to threaten to expose them
by using that leverage, by creating that leverage
which by the way,
grab my free Crush My Negotiation Prep Worksheet
that'll help you get started.
With that, it's a free ebook,
and learn how to outsmart them.
I have a whole video on outsmarting narcissists
which you definitely might want to check out.
The other thing you can do
is join my free private Facebook group
at Narcissist Negotiators with Rebecca Zung.
There's like lots of people in there
that are helping each other
learn how to outsmart narcissists.
And that can be you too.
So if you like this video, give it a like, give it a share,
drop me that comment.
Tell me, "Let's do this."
'Cause we're going to do this.
And if you haven't subscribed to my channel,
now is a great time to do that.
Subscribe and hit that notification bell.
I'm Rebecca Zung.
Remember today's a great day
to start negotiating your best life.
And I will see you in the next video.