-He is an Emmy-nominated actor and writer --
David, were you Emmy-nominated?
-Yes. [ Laughter ]
Actor and writer.
He's a very funny comedian with
a brand-new stand-up special called
"David Spade: Nothing Personal,"
which is streaming now on Netflix.
Please welcome the always-entertaining David Spade!
-♪ Nothin', nothin', nothin',
nothin', nothin', nothin', nothin' ♪
♪ Nothin', nothin', nothin',
nothin', nothin', nothin', nothin' ♪
♪ Nothin', nothin', nothin'... ♪
-That's exactly right.
That's exactly right.
-That's more like it. -Yeah.
Standing ovation for Mr. David Spade.
-Yes. -Absolutely right, buddy.
We love you.
-Jimmy, I have a stupid question for you.
-What's up?
-This is so -- And I'm so embarrassed.
-Yeah.
-You're Jimmy Kimmel or Fallon?
-Oh, my God. -Fallon.
-Your microphone is on, yeah. -Oh, Fallon.
No, and I knew that,
but then I said backstage, and two people weren't sure.
And then -- But I always say "Jimmy, Jimmy," but I never --
-You don't know the last name. -No, I don't.
But you know what? I know now. -Yeah.
I got to say, I had dinner with you last night.
I'm very -- When you come into town,
I'm lucky enough you invite me out to --
-I know. There's few people I like to eat with.
You're always hilarious, fun to go out with.
Chris Rock came. We --
-Yeah, me, you, and Chris Rock is interesting
to sit with each other, because --
Chris came a little bit later,
so, at first, it was just me and you.
-Yeah.
-And do you remember,
there's one nice lady who was leaving,
and she goes, "David Spade, oh, my God,
you're the funniest person on Earth."
-Oh, yeah, yeah. -And I go...
-I know. No, but she liked you, too.
-Yeah, then she said something like,
"You're okay, too" of something.
-She goes, "And you're doing your thing."
-I'm like, "Yeah, whatever." And then Chris comes in.
-I know.
And then it was, like, over, yeah.
-Then people were judging us. People were going in order.
They're like, "Okay, you're kind of funny."
-"If we go by TV..."
But Chris was great.
You know, also, that place was so nice.
-Polo Bar. -Yes.
And they -- But, you know, sometimes,
they try to up-charge you.
Not that restaurant, but other ones.
And -- But, like, you know, they're like,
"Hey, you want some truffles in your Diet Coke?"
"No."
"Alright."
-Well, they know who they're dealing with.
Yeah, it's David Spade. -They give it like you're cheap.
They're like, "Okay.
$35 Diet Coke. Is that a problem for you?"
-But you're a comedy beast.
You went -- You and Chris went and did stand-up,
surprised the audience at the...
-The Comedy Cellar. -...the Cellar last night.
-Yeah, that was great.
You know, when I come in, we, you know --
And it always happens every time,
and then, at the end of dinner, he goes, "Wanna go do a set?"
-Yeah.
-But he's on tour right now, and I'm on tour for once.
So we go out on the road, and so he's super-polished.
He crushed it.
-How was the crowd last night?
-They were great.
You know, you walk in, and the Comedy Cellar is a great room,
so we just go on --
-I mean, you're on tour now. Do you love it?
-I'm -- Yeah.
You know, I haven't really done a theater tour in a long time,
so it's a little rigmarole.
But, oh, you know what happened? This is exciting.
I was -- Not really. But I was...
-By the way, this is exactly like
having dinner with David Spade
It's so many jokes. -It's really bits ahoy.
-I love it. It's bits ahoy for both of us.
I love it. -So, we go.
So, here I am flying, and then the stewardess comes out --
The flight attendant comes out.
And she goes, "It's a little scary."
She goes, "I have an announcement."
And then we're all like, "Uh-oh."
And she goes, "There's a bomb on the plane."
Then she goes, "No, no. It's good news. It's good news."
And, you know, I like her to have a little personality.
And, so, she goes, "Take your masks off.
They just announced you don't have to wear your mask."
And then she had garbage, and she threw it in.
And then she goes, "Take 'em off."
And we were all like, "Whoo-hoo!"
And everyone did it.
And then I go, "Oh, wait.
I need it in the airport."
So, I was like...
-"I remember which one was mine."
-It was.
It was a little bit of a grab-bag situation.
I was like, "Eh, this one fits.
Little perfumey, but, you know,
just for that half-mile to the luggage."
So, that was good.
Then I get out of the plane. Oh, wait.
Actually, on the plane, when I took it off,
this guy next to me -- You realize people
don't know because you're kind of hidden.
And he goes, "Hey, man."
And I go, "Oh, hey, dude."
And he goes, "Oh, that was you?"
I go, "You didn't know for three hours?
I'm talking. I'm standing. I'm right next to you, across."
And he goes, "Ah, no."
And I go, "I have a 'Grown Ups' coat on.
I have an 'Emperor's New Groove' lunchbox. Nothing?"
And he's like, "No." -"Saturday Night Live."
-Yeah. He goes, "I know 'Joe Dirt.'"
I go, "Oh, okay."
So, I get off and then I go, and then the first guy --
You know, it was an early flight.
And I go to one of those little bagel stores
where they have a table that's a like circle
like this big, you know?
Fits one.
And there's no chairs because they want you to beat it.
So, I have a little bagel and I'm like...
just grossly eating a bagel.
And then a guy comes and stands next to me
and scooches his bagel next to mine.
Errrr!
Like, it doesn't even fit two barely.
And I go...
And he goes, "A little A.M. bagel in the morning."
Like, the most crammed-in talk.
I go, "Yeah."
And he goes, "Yeah, I'm doing a little bagelage myself."
And then I go, "Okay."
And then he goes, "Bagel time U.S.A." or something.
I go -- And then I kind of started fading out.
And then he goes, "Alright, bagel it up, dude."
-Oh, my God. -And then that was it.
And I go, "Did we just talk? I don't know what happened."
-Wow. Doing a little bagelage.
-And then I went to the Sunglass Hut.
And then I'm gonna let you talk in a second.
But I went to Sunglass Hut.
Is it Sunglasses or Sunglass?
-I say Sunglass Hut. -Yeah, I say that.
So -- And, by the way, it was bumpin'.
And there were so many people buying sunglasses.
And then I thought, "You know what?
They're doing so well,
they should have a building now."
Yeah, forget the hut. We're moving out of that.
-No more hut. Take a step above the hut.
-Yeah, get a building. You know, commit.
-Sunglass Hut.
-That's not in the special. Don't worry.
I give you the duds here,
but the special is all the cream of the crop.
-Besides your stand-up tour,
you're also doing a very funny podcast.
-Oh, yeah, with Dana. -The one-and-only Dana Carvey.
-Dana Carvey -- give him some applause.
[ Cheers and applause ] -"Fly on the Wall."
It's called "Fly on the Wall." -Yeah.
-And how did the podcast come about?
-Well, Dana and I, you know, we're on the show.
We sort of overlap -- We didn't overlap with you.
But he was on before me,
and then we overlapped and we were buddies.
And then we live near each other,
and then I try to get him --
drag him out to dinner sometimes.
And we have a lot of laughs. He's super-funny dude.
And we talk "SNL" stuff.
And then, like, someone we know from "SNL" will come to dinner.
And we talked about this.
I go, "You know, you have to do a podcast.
You know, it's sort of like jury duty."
So we said, "Let's do one, and then maybe we'll do
a sort of 'SNL' slant to it,
because all of our friends are on there."
So we did that. And it's pretty funny.
We actually did a live one.
We did a live one in Austin. It's so funny.
It's a 2,800-seat theater,
and it's just three guys talking.
You know, it's not like Ringling Bros., you know?
So I get scared, but the crowd was super into it.
And then we're doing one in L.A. next week with Sandler.
He's going to be our guest. So, it's like -- It's all fun.
Just goofing around. -I heard -- I know Tina was on.
-Tina was on.
-Basically everyone from "Saturday Night Live."
-Mike Myers is this week. We had Tom Hanks.
-Yeah, a lot of great people.
-Yeah, everyone -- You're -- I want you on.
-Yeah, where's that invite?
-No, but it's just -- Right now, it's a little tricky.
-Right now, you're booked. -No, no.
I -- Yeah, I'm going to have you on,
but I just want to make sure we got an hour of stuff.
[ Laughter ]
I've got to feel it out. -I've got to work my way up.
Yeah. -Yeah, yeah, yeah.
-I want to talk about your stand-up special,
"Nothing Personal," on Netflix.
More with David Spade when we come back.
-Oh, more!