I get a knock at the door,
and here are two guys in a suit.
"I'm from the FBI."
The first thing I have to say is,
"What took you guys so long?"
I told them the truth.
I was gonna make my own IED,
and I was gonna set it across the Islamic Center
over in a bank's parking lot, and I was gonna dial it in.
And just watch the show.
Growing up, I saw a movie, and it was "Rambo".
[Clip]: (gunfire)
Rambo was tough, respected.
[Clip]: "Come on! Move it!"
He had intestinal fortitude.
I said, "That's what I want to do."
I went off and joined the Marine Corps.
I wanted the action.
The first time I got shot at,
I remember looking at my watch
and I says, "Man, this time last year,"
"I was in English class."
But I fought several times in the Middle East,
Desert Shield, Desert Storm,
South America, Philippines, Somalia.
I think the worst things that I have seen is dead children.
I had to suck it up. I had to be there for my guys.
Each one of those tear drops
stands for a confirmed kill.
I stopped adding after 26.
What I was taught in the Marine Corps,
"Just own it, and then let it go."
But there comes a time when there's too much of that,
and you can't turn it off anymore.
[Interviewer] I want you to give me a window into your state
of mind at that time.
One time, my wife and I went to a DSW,
and I saw, in the distance, these two women
in black burkas. In my store.
I cried as I prayed for enough strength to go over
there and break both their necks.
I was just angry, I was just full of hate
and it just fed off itself.
At that point, I was drinking a half gallon
of vodka every two days.
I had devised a plan: create my own IED, homemade bomb,
and I was gonna set it off right outside
the Muncie Islamic Center.
200-plus killed or injured, that was the plan.
I saw an opportunity to do one last thing
for my country. This was my rationale.
I knew I would end up in a federal prison
with a needle in my arm, I didn't care.
My hatred of Islam, it was the only thing
that was keeping me alive.
So one day my daughter comes home,
second grade maybe, she was telling me
about this little boy who sat across from her.
His mom came to get him.
She said she had scarves on her
and she had a dress all the way down to her feet,
and you couldn't see nothing but her eyeballs.
At that point, I snapped. Started spewing things
out of my mouth that should never be said
in front of children or anything.
She didn't say anything, it was the look on her face.
I remember my daughter looking at me like I was
absolutely the craziest person on the face of the earth.
She was my little buddy, she used to say we were road dogs.
I know, I saw it in her eyes, I made
her question that love, and that's when
a light bulb came on.
I decided to give the people
of this community one more chance.
So I went to the Islamic Center, see a gentleman
in a shoe room taking off his shoes,
he looks at me and he smiles.
He said, "Can I help you?"
And I said, "Yeah, I want you to teach me about Islam."
So he went and he gave me a Qur'an.
"Read this, come back when you have questions."
So I did, and I would see things in the book,
I'd be like, "There it is, I got him right there."
"Explain that to me."
And they would.
This was a kind of awakening.
Long story short, eight weeks after
that first day I stepped into the Islamic Center,
I became a Muslim.
I am a Muslim, a veteran, and a proud American.
I had learned that I was completely wrong
about everything that I felt.
You know, Judaism had a message, Christianity had a message,
Islam had a message.
Funny thing is, though, it was the same message.
It was about peace, and it was about love.
[Clip]: "Please join me in welcoming Mr. McKinney."
[Clip]: (applause)
My big thing is, now, to stop the hate.
[Clip]: "Nothing good has ever come down to hatred."
I've done too many things.
I've hurt a lot of people. I have to live with that.
But if I can stop somebody else on the path
of non-forgiveness, I won.