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A number of years ago, the Dalai Lama was here for a Mind & Life conference
a gathering of scientists and researchers, teachers and the like, that were all
- this is really when the beginning of affirming some of the benefits of
meditation was really taking root and
at one point he was interviewed by network news because his latest
book on happiness had come out and the question they asked him was:
'Well what was the happiest moment of your life?'
And he thought for a little while and he gave that - he has a mischievous look he gives
- and he said: 'I think now.'
And to me it was perfect, because really the gift of meditation
is to be able to really be right here, in the one place,
the one moment, where we can truly experience happiness
and love and creativity
where we can truly see the nature of reality.
So the challenge is that
most of the time, we have this really deep conditioning
to not be here, to be on our way somewhere else.
It's often in the form of 'lost in thought'
we're thinking that generally the most important moment of our life is either
ahead or has already happened; but it's rare that we think:
'this moment really matters. This is it.'
Right here, this moment.'
So it's really an interesting inquiry: what is it
that takes us away so regularly from presence?
And if we begin to check through the day and say: 'okay, what's going on here?'
we'll find that, much of the time, we're in a trance of thinking
we're kind of living in a virtual reality, you know we're not
awake in our senses right here, and that
in that virtual reality, there's an undercurrent of
'I want something' or 'I'm fearing something'
Okay, there's wants and fears
there's a sense something's missing, something's not quite right
and that drives the thinking, and if we really check closely
we'll find that right at the core of our thinking trance is some assumption
that what's wrong is our self,
that we're not right, that something's wrong with me.
The practice of meditation, or coming into presence,
is described as having two wings
and the two wings are, one of the wings is mindfulness
so that you actually see what's happening in the present moment
non-judging presence; and the other wing you might think of as heartfulness
or whatever seems held with tenderness, with compassion.
So it's seeing what's here and regarding it with tenderness.
You can think of it as two questions; if you ask yourself: what is happening right now?
It's like that attention that notices what's going on inside you right now,
what is happening? And then the other wing is: and can I be with this?
Can I regard this with kindness?
So these are the two wings that we cultivate
to be able to wake up out of that trance of unworthiness
to wake up out of the spacesuit self and sense
that the gold is shining through, these two wings.
Let's pause right now, I'd just like to
give you a chance to check inside for a few moments.
Take a bit of time just to settle to
connect with your senses, to feel your breath.
Let's do a very short and simple
exploration of these two wings
I'd like to invite you to come up with a current situation in your life that
that brings up difficult emotions
not something that is traumatic;
but something that brings up anxiety or anger, hurt...
where you react in a way perhaps that you wish you wouldn't
and let yourself go right to the part of that situation
- bring to mind, visualize it and see it and
move through it - to right where you go into reactivity
and sense what emotions are coming up in you
- like for this man it was a clutch of anxiety in his chest -
and take some moments to sense, when you typically react,
when you start to manage things
by either lashing out or turning on yourself,
withdrawing... whatever you do,
just sense how that feels and you might even mentally use the word 'no'
managing is way of saying 'no' to what's happening right now: 'no I don't like this,
no I want you to be different, I want to be different'...
just notice what happens when you're saying 'no', when you're trying to manage things
trying to take control, resisting
so get connected and aware of what the feeling of 'no' is like
when you're reacting in a tight way,
from your spacesuit self
sense how it is in your body, in your heart
and then take a few full breaths
I call this a 'state interrupter'; just kind of breathe and
feel your body right here, fully
but let the same situation be in your awareness
in fact, again, let yourself remember the triggering
what gets you going and what the worst part about this is
see if you can feel in your body where it lives
but this time just name and say 'yes'
okay, fear; yes, let it be
anger; yes, just let it be
hurt; yes, let it be
so you're really giving permission
to your body and your heart to feel what it feels
you're not saying 'yes' to the other person's behavior
'yes' is a way of allowing and letting be the life inside you
let it be as it is
it's very brave, very permissive, very allowing - 'yes'
in fact, no matter what's happening inside you right now
pleasantness or unpleasantness
tired, numb, dull
anxious
see what happens when you say 'yes'
when you just give it permission to be as it is
and you might sense in the days and weeks to come when the situation arises
that it's possible for you to pause and awaken the two wings
that you can pause and really ask what's happening
and name your experience inside you
and you can say 'yes' to the experience and give it more space
and notice perhaps there's more openness
more flexibility
that you're more at home in yourself
when you haven't managed
and gone into the old behavior.
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