I'm wearing a shirt that has a colour today!
It's very exciting!
Hey guys!
I looked back over my old videos to make sure I didn't wear the same shirt
twice in a row and I realised that
for nearly two months straight, I've been wearing grey shirts
and grey shirts only.
So today I put on a colour.
It's an almost grey colour, but it's a colour.
There is a bit of a conversation going on
on YouTube right now about
the dilemma of bisexuality, which I think it's really great.
Honestly, the more people talking about bisexuality, the better,
in my humble opinion.
Rosie of "Rose and Rosie" made a video.
She was essentially talking about how women seemed more
into Rose, who is a lesbian, than into her
and she was wondering if it was because of her bisexuality.
The video is linked in the description, if you want to see what I'm talking about.
And then, my beautiful and talented friend Melanie Murphy
made a video talking about the dilemma of bisexuality
and being with one gender versus being with another gender.
Again, that video's linked in the description, if you want to see it.
I have some thoughts and I'd like to..
put them in your ears.
Being bisexual - oh, I'm bisexual, if you didn't know that,
hi, I'm Alayna, I'm bi -
from all the videos that I've seen, from all the conversation that goes on
I feel like the root of people's issue
or people's insecurity surrounding bisexuality
has to do with the idea that bisexual people are incapable of monogamy.
Whether it's the stereotype that we're greedy,
which implies that not only do we want all the genders
but we must have them all at the same time,
or if it's women in the lesbian community being
afraid that a bisexual woman is gonna leave them for a man,
it always comes back to the idea
that we are gonna cheat
or that we can't be satisfied,
unless we have it all.
Which, first of all, is simply not true,
but second of all, it forces
bisexual people to
hide their bisexuality or be ashamed of it
when in a relationship.
As a bisexual woman, if I'm - let's say - pursuing
a woman, there is this pressure to assure her that
I'm not gonna leave her for another gender.
But here's the thing:
no other sexuality has to do that.
If you're a person who's into - let's say -
both blondes and brunettes and you're pursuing a brunette,
you don't have to continuously
reiterate to this brunette that you're not gonna leave them for a blonde.
It's also not assumed by general society that
because you're a person that likes both blonde hair and brown hair
that one type of hair in a partner is just not gonna to satisfy you.
Of course not.
That would be ridiculous.
The choice to be in a monogamous relationship
has nothing to do with whether you're
bisexual or some type of multisexual orientation,
which means attracted to more than one gender.
It's about whether you're a monogamous person or a polyamorous person.
Monogamous= interested or in a relationship with one person.
Polyamorous= interested and/or in a relationship with multiple people.
Choosing to be in a monogamous relationship
has nothing to do with your sexual orientation.
Absolutely nothing.
I think that there's a whole separate
spectrum that we need to look at.
There is the sexual orientation's spectrum
from straight to gay and then you've got a spectrum
regarding simply how sexual a person is
and then, third, separate from both of those,
you've got a spectrum between monogamy and polyamory.
And every person is gonna fall somewhere different on all three of those spectrums.
And they're completely unrelated.
Absolutely.
Any person is giving up sex with other people
when they choose a monogamous relationship.
Every person.
What frustrates me is feeling like
I need to hide my bi-ness
in order to prove to the world that I'm faithful to my partner.
I'm frustrated by this need
to continually reiterate our ability to be monogamous.
But I'm also tired of needing to hide any
tendencies toward - let's say - polyamory, as a bisexual person
for fear of filling the stereotype.
We've come from a place where bisexuality
equalled promiscuity
and that was that.
And then there was this huge wave and conversation about bisexuality
and the stereotypes surrounding bisexuality
and the legitimacy of bisexuality, which was beautiful and wonderful and important.
But now I feel like it's swung to the other side
where bisexual people
are trying so hard to not fit those stereotypes
and to prove themselves as good members of the LGBTQ or straight community,
that we're not able to just be ourselves.
And I think it's time that we're allowed to just be ourselves.
Being sexually attracted to more than one gender
does not make you any less able to be monogamous.
But at the same time, it doesn't make you any less
worthy, if you're bi and don't want monogamy.
That's what I'm trying to say.
And this is one reason why I idolize Gaby Dunn so much.
She identifies as bi, pan, queer
and also polyamorous.
And that to me is important.
Moral of the story:
figure out where you're at on all those different spectrums,
figure out what you like.
I think that's everything I wanted to say.
I hope that you enjoyed this video.
I've linked everyone that I mentioned down in the description below,
so be sure you check that out.
I love you guys very much.
Please, give this video a thumbs up, if you enjoyed it.
It really helps me out when you do.
And I will see you guys next week.
Bye!
Can I make it focus on your face?
You're so cute!