- Please welcome, from Netflix's "Queer Eye,"
Jonathan Van Ness!
- Hi, how are you?
- Oh, my God! How are you?
- Good, long time no see!
- By the way, did you get a haircut?
- I did! I did.
I just needed to take some of that 2020 length off.
- Well, I actually have a hair company
that I'm coming out with.
It's Flower Hair.
And when I looked at-
I wanted to share this picture with you. Can you see it?
- [Jonathan] Yes! Stun.
Love the volume. I can't get enough.
- I want to put that picture up
and then put the cover of your book up,
because I feel like when I look at the two images,
I just feel like our personalities have a lot in common.
Do you feel that it's some spiritual mission in life
to take care of people, to put positivity out there,
to be a good person?
- I feel like my real mission has always kind of been
is that if any of my pain
or any of my difficulties or mistakes in my life,
if I can share that and ease that for others,
I feel like that's kind of...
that is kind of where I feel more of a responsibility
and if joy is a part of that experience
then that's amazing.
But I also one time- 'cause I was a yoga teacher for years
and I still have a very active practice.
It's one of my favorite stories.
I was late to teach a yoga class
'cause I'm six minutes late to do everything that I ever do.
And I was like honking at this lady cause I was like,
"Oh, my gosh, you're literally going 25.
I got to get around you, queen.
I'm going to be late to teach yoga."
And then she ended up being in my class
after I'd been honking at her.
And I was, like, 23 and I was like, "Oh."
So, you know, I still struggle.
We all have those moments where it's like,
yes, I can be like a patient, loving person,
but I also can be someone who's really like,
(wails)
So, you know, it's all a spectrum, I feel.
- Can I ask what gives you
the courage slash freedom to share?
- If I can help prevent anyone else
from feeling the really negative side effects
of just rejecting yourself.
And you know, I talk about it in my book a lot
this idea of being normal
and my fear of not being normal is something
that drove me to such self destructive behaviors.
And I so just kind of want to help people avoid that,
but also, I still struggle with that very same thing,
but my self destructive behaviors are
name-searching myself on Twitter
or fighting with a family member
who I know I can't win with.
So, it's like go to someone who you can win with.
The courage is kind of a necessity.
'Cause I know what it's like to suffer
and feel really isolated and be dealing with addiction
or, you know, whatever.
And I really want to offer
some of the tools that I used
to get to where I am.
'Cause it's just such a lonely place.
- Sometimes I think that my whole life
would be very different if-
I was in an institution and they broke in
and broke the story on The Enquirer
and it was embarrassing and it was hard
and it was something I would have liked to have
preferably kept a secret but I wasn't able to.
But because I was sort of exposed, if you will,
I chose to make that a moment of true freedom
and that I would never have to be perfect
or pretend to be perfect again.
And I love that you've put so many things out there,
especially in your book,
and it's not easy to share those things.
- No.
I didn't understand how it was going to open me up
to being a strength for other people's stories.
And so, in people sharing their stories with me-
which I love that and I even talk about this in the book-
but in being open and honest, it was like,
you know, so many people were sharing with me
where they were in their stories.
And so, kind of going back into
some of those places so often,
you know, being strong for that person,
but then later on you're like...
It's so much to take on and be that rock for people
that at some point you're like,
"I need to like sit on my couch and watch 'Bob's Burgers'
and cuddle with my cat for three weeks,"
'cause the reality of what that costs your nervous system.
And again, not to complain 'cause oh, my God,
I never would have dreamed to have a-
Like, look at my shelves!
I can't believe I have shelves.
I really don't want to complain 'cause I'm so grateful
but I just think that there was
kind of the reality of my last few years
and becoming a public figure and sharing all of that stuff.
It was like, "Oh, my God."
- I do believe in my heart that by sharing your story,
that you let other people know they're not alone.
And when people feel alone, it is almost very dangerous.
And the fact that you did help people,
make people feel like they're going to get through this,
this is not only happening to them,
you are a human community.
I commend you with all fibers of my being.
And as someone who's had it all out there,
it is an ultimate form of freedom.
And the best thing that maybe could even come out of it
is...
positivity and optimism, I guess, at the end of the day.
I think I just found out why, again,
I love both of those words so much.
(upbeat music)