- Hi, everyone.
In today's video, I'm going to be discussing
the eight things that I'm struggling most
in life with right now.
We wanted to film this video as a means
to kind of bring a little bit more realness to the channel,
in terms of things that I am struggling with,
things that are included in what it means
to live well with schizophrenia.
And beyond that,
we wanna show that
not everything that I'm struggling with
is centered around schizophrenia.
Yes, these things may be exacerbated by having schizophrenia
or by living with schizoaffective disorder,
but I'm struggling with some things
that everyone may be struggling with.
And so, hopefully, maybe you might relate
to some things on this list,
(gentle music)
Welcome back to the Living Well With Schizophrenia channel.
My name is Lauren,
and I make videos about what it's like
living with schizoaffective disorder,
or schizophrenia, on a daily basis.
If you want to see more videos like this one,
make sure to subscribe
so as not to miss any of our future content,
and also, if you would like to help support
the creation of future videos like this one,
make sure to check out the link to our Patreon page.
It's in the description below.
Okay, so, starting off the list
of things I'm struggling with right now,
I think the thing that's at the forefront of my mind
right now, in terms of things that I'm struggling with
or dealing with right now, is pregnancy.
I'm pregnant right now, and so, that comes with
its own unique set of challenges and struggles.
So, I've been feeling really, really tired,
and that's been hard to manage and deal with,
especially with different life commitments,
keeping up with the YouTube channel,
keeping up with kids.
It's been kind of hard navigating
how tired I've been feeling.
I've been really fortunate not to have other symptoms,
such as morning sickness or that kind of thing,
which I'm very grateful for,
but tiredness has been a big thing to contend with.
I've also been a little bit, like, uncomfortable.
I've had pains in my pelvis region and my back
and my groin, and I think that's just part of
my body changing with pregnancy,
but it's been, it's been a little bit hard to deal with
because it's been quite painful.
I think there's a lot of anxiety
that also comes with being pregnant,
for anyone who's pregnant, but especially,
I guess, when you're living with a mental illness
like schizophrenia, there are added challenges,
and that's kind of something that I've been struggling with.
Also, tied into the tiredness is that
my sleep has been really disrupted,
and sleep is something that's really,
really important for me in terms of taking care of myself
and keeping well.
And so, when that's disrupted,
it kind of throws everything a little bit out of whack,
and it makes me struggle with other things
a little bit more as well.
So, number two and number three on my list
kind of have to do with what's happening right now
with the global pandemic.
So, I'm having a lot less interactions with my friends
and family, and just a lack of social interactions
has been kind of hard to deal with,
and something that I am definitely struggling with.
I think, especially when going through a major life change
such as pregnancy, you want to be
connecting with the people in your life
and reaching out with the people in your life.
And likewise, going through a major trauma,
such as what we're all going through right now
with this pandemic, you want to be leaning on the people
in your life and you want to be reaching out
to the people in your life.
And that's kind of something that's not really
allowed right now, or something that
we're not really supposed to be doing right now
so as to reduce the risk of spreading the disease.
And so, that's been kind of hard to deal with,
and I think that that's something
that a lot of people are dealing with,
and I'm seeing a lot of people in my life
having more problems with their mental health
as a result of everything that's going on
with the pandemic right now,
and that's been kind of hard to deal with.
And then, tied into this,
number three is anxiety over exposure.
So, you know, even before I was pregnant,
I was worried about contracting COVID-19
at the grocery store or, you know,
whenever we happen to have to go out of house,
and that's been a fear and an anxiety
that I think a lot of people share.
And, you know, cases are going up where I live right now,
and that's anxiety inducing.
And then, when you add in being pregnant on top of this,
I'm even more fearful of contracting COVID-19,
just because I don't know how it would affect the baby
or me as a pregnant woman.
And so, there's an added level of anxiety
around that right now.
Number four on my list is parenting.
So, I am pregnant, but we also have two older children,
and we have been doing online schooling with them,
which has been a challenge to address, too, and whatnot,
and to figure out how to do in the most effective way.
Also, they've been home a lot more,
because they're not going to school
and we can't really take them out anywhere,
or we can't have them socialize with their friends
or that kind of thing because of the pandemic,
which has been really hard on them.
And so, not only are they struggling
with this lack of social connection,
like I was mentioning I am, but also,
we're spending a lot more time together.
And so, this has been hindering productivity
for Rob and I, in terms of, when we have the kids,
it's very hard to get anything done,
in terms of work or life stuff
or anything other than taking care of the kids,
which has been kind of a struggle.
Also, you know, I think spending more time together,
you're more aware of how your relationship is going.
And so, I think there's been more,
more anxiety or struggle
around worrying that
we are raising the kids in a good way
and making sure that we're raising good people.
And, you know, I think we are.
I think the kids are really great
and I think we're doing a good job,
but that is something that I'm struggling with.
I think that every parent can kind of relate to that,
in terms of, you know, just wanting the best for your kids
and struggling with whether or not
you are providing the best environment for them
to become the best people they can be,
or whether or not you're nurturing them
to the best of your ability, or, you know,
the fullest capacity that you would like to.
And I think just all that kind of stuff, you know,
worries and struggles around parenting.
And then, to kind of go along with,
with parenting is that we have co-parents as well.
And so, you know, keeping up communication with them
has been something that I've been struggling with
a little bit, too, lately,
in terms of, you know, just not having as much time
now that school has started to connect with them
and share information about the kids and whatnot,
because we drop the kids off to each other's houses
right before school on Monday morning.
So, there's not really that time to connect,
and so, struggling with issues around parenting,
struggling with not having enough communication
with co-parents, and trying to make it all work.
To that same effect around struggling
a little bit with communication is number five,
where I'm kind of struggling
in my relationship a little bit,
with establishing really healthy communication.
And this is kind of something
that I've always struggled with,
and I think it is something that schizophrenia
plays a little bit of a role in,
in terms of my ability to effectively communicate
with my partner.
I think, especially, then,
when you throw in another circumstance or experience
into the mix, like pregnancy,
and you have another kind of obstacle
you're trying to tackle together,
it creates another layer of communication
that you need to be open to.
And so, that has been a bit of a struggle,
trying to figure out how to balance all that
and what is the best level of communication?
What is the best way to communicate with each other
and that kind of thing,
and figuring out how to,
how to approach struggles together as a united team.
I think that's something that is going to be
kind of a lifelong process.
And I think that anyone who is in a long-term relationship
can kind of attest to that,
where you are always kind of growing
and evolving with your partner,
and figuring out the best way to tackle life together.
The sixth thing that I'm struggling with
at the moment is staying active.
So, especially, it's getting really cold where we are.
And so, that kind of is eliminating the amount of things
that I can do to stay active.
And also, you know, COVID happening right now
is also reducing the amount of things
that I can do to stay active.
You know, I was going to the gym before COVID.
I was involved in different
kind of like extracurricular stuff before COVID,
that I just am not comfortable with doing
now that COVID is here and happening and whatnot.
So, I have been, I don't know,
before I found out that I was pregnant,
I was getting more into cycling
and trying to keep up with running and whatnot.
And then, when pregnancy happened,
I lost all energy and will to do anything active,
which was unfortunate for about the first trimester.
So that was, that was a struggle,
and I think that that took a toll on my mental health,
not being as active.
So, when I started to get more energy
in my second trimester,
I began to start trying to get back into running again,
and that did wonders for my mental health.
And so, figuring out ways to stay active
and to stay healthy in that regard
has been a bit of a struggle,
but really trying to keep that up as much as possible.
Number seven is motivation.
So, I think this,
it's hard to say whether this is just something
that I'm struggling with on my own,
or if this is a result of schizophrenia,
or if maybe just schizophrenia exacerbates
the level of motivation I'm able to muster
for any given task.
But, especially, I find that I'm having reduced motivation
at times around work
and around keeping up with the YouTube channel.
And it's hard to stay on task with
preparing for the videos, planning them out,
scripting them out, and then actually getting ready
to record them and recording them.
And then, Rob does most of the editing,
so that's kind of nice.
I don't have to worry about that too much,
but you know, there's a lot of steps involved
in terms of getting a video out,
and it's hard at times to muster the motivation
to actually carry out each of those steps
and to stay motivated with the work that we're doing.
I'm fortunate that, you know,
the impact of our work is pretty clear, and so,
that I can kind of direct drive motivation from oftentimes,
but it is definitely something that I'm struggling with.
And I think that, you know,
given the weird times we're living in right now,
I think that motivation is probably something
that a lot of people find themselves
struggling more with lately.
And the eighth thing that I'm struggling with right now is
kind of just keeping up with life.
And this is kind of something that
I kind of ebb and flow with
in terms of how much I struggle with,
but it's hard sometimes for me to keep up with
the daily events of living life, like paying bills,
or keeping up with various commitments,
or, you know, keeping up with
cooking and cleaning and all that kind of stuff.
And just keeping up with life in general
can be a struggle at times.
And I think that, you know,
schizophrenia exacerbates this a little bit,
in terms of not having the best executive functioning
for a lot of these tasks.
But again, I think this is something
that everyone kind of struggles with to a certain degree
or to a certain extent.
And, you know,
it helps to have someone in my life, my partner,
who kind of helps to keep me accountable
and helps to keep me on track,
and yeah, just trying to do the best I can,
trying to keep up with life.
So, that wraps up the list of the major things
that I'm struggling with in life right now.
Again, we kind of just want her to make this video,
because sometimes I worry that,
you know, the way I present in the videos
paints a picture of just extreme wellness all the time.
And you know, the name of the channel,
Living Well With Schizophrenia,
indicates that, you know,
you can live without struggles
and you just live well with schizophrenia.
But I think that sharing these struggles
helps to create a more nuanced
and a better picture of what it actually means
to live well with schizophrenia.
I think everyone on this planet
goes through their own struggles,
and that is going to include people
who are living well with a mental illness.
And it's also important to know that
not all of your struggles are going to be
revolving around your mental illness
or around schizophrenia.
And a lot of the struggles that you are going through
are kind of universal struggles
that a lot of people can relate to
and a lot of people go through,
regardless of if they're experiencing a mental illness
such as schizophrenia or not.
And, yes, schizophrenia can kind of interplay
with some of these struggles and can exacerbate them,
or maybe even protect you from some of them
in some instances.
And so, just kind of understand that,
yes, I have schizophrenia
and I identify with the concept
of living well with schizophrenia,
but that doesn't mean that I'm immune to any struggles.
And that doesn't mean that living well with schizophrenia
doesn't include humans struggle
and include struggle to do with schizophrenia,
to not do a schizophrenia,
and just, you know, it comes with ups and downs
and navigating that,
and learning how to manage those struggles, I think,
is where living well with schizophrenia comes into play.
All right, so thank you so much for watching this video.
I hope that it helped you in some way,
either if you could relate to some of the struggles
that I was experiencing,
or if it helped you to feel less alone
in your own struggles.
If you want to support the creation
of future videos like this one,
just a reminder to check out our Patreon page.
The link is in the description below.
Also, make sure to subscribe,
so as not to miss any future content.
Thank you so much, again, for watching,
and as always wishing you and your loved ones good health.
See you in the next video.
Bye.